Another one of my X rated questions!

[LMcConnell18]

okay.
so ive been with my bf for nearly 4 yrs now.
at first the sexual content was hot.
and now... well... its not! lol.
not that it sux really... its ME!

for approx. the last year... i havent had the biggest sexual appetite!
we've gone months without doing anything.
we live in a house with my mother...
so its not like we can have crazy hot sex, or sleep in the nude, or ANYTHING relaxed about sex.

hes complained about the lack of sexual activity between us, but he also tells me that i am way more important to him than sex, and that hed rather spend the rest of his life with me, even if it meant he never has sex again.
we actually have a sex pattern almost. its like some random night, ill feel like doing something, i wont want to wait for him to finish if im done first, well wake up in the morning, go for another round, and then theres nothing for like 3-4 weeks or longer.

im not sure if its stress, because believe me, i have been in the most stressful situation for the longest time now... i just dont know.

is there something wrong with me? or have other girls gone through the same thing?

could it be that im not as physically attracted to him anymore? he has a hot body, always has, [although he MAY be gaining a lil weight around the mid section, but still hot] so i dont think thats the issue really... what the hell is wrong here!

 

[*Luna*]

I think stress can be a HUGE factor... what you should do is take a romantic weekend together. Get a hotel room, have a nice dinner, share some champagne and just relax together. That way you can spend some quality time together in a stress free environment with no one around to bother you or kill the mood. Don't go with any expectations, just go to spend the alone time together. Spending the quality time with one another might just get you out of your "rut".

 

[LMcConnell18]

weve tried our little get away.
things are great during the weekend!
things are great for a few days after that, and then boom.
right back to where we were.
i also think that if we lived alone, and were more financially stable things would be different.
but i need things to be better NOW. lol
i believe that sex is a natural and healthy part of a relationship, and i dont want mine to have that big/important loss.

 

[MACgirl]

I have been with my man for 3 yrs now and he was my first. The sex is amazing and i know it was better the first year and half, im gueessing becuase we could explore new things al the time! im not saying its a bore now, but i def dont want to get in a rut. I come up with things or ways to switch it up and keep things fresh (no pun intended) you know.

 

[user79]

Are you on hormonal birth control? That can def affect libido. When I was on hormonal BC, my sex drive hit rock bottom. Sex not only didn't interest me, it turned me off! I don't know why BC works this way, but with some people the decrease in libido can be quite devastating to a relationship. As soon as I went off BC, it started to even out again.

Maybe moving out to your own place could help too tho...

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous Are you on hormonal birth control? That can def affect libido. When I was on hormonal BC, my sex drive hit rock bottom. Sex not only didn't interest me, it turned me off! I don't know why BC works this way, but with some people the decrease in libido can be quite devastating to a relationship. As soon as I went off BC, it started to even out again. Maybe moving out to your own place could help too tho...

Hormonal B.C does the same thing to me, not only do I not want sex, It sometimes disgusts me!

 

[silverblackened]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous Are you on hormonal birth control? That can def affect libido. When I was on hormonal BC, my sex drive hit rock bottom. Sex not only didn't interest me, it turned me off! I don't know why BC works this way, but with some people the decrease in libido can be quite devastating to a relationship.

Maybe that's how they prevent you from getting pregnant...

 

[prinzessin784]

I'm actually going through the very same thing right now. My fiancee and I live with my mom, and I've been out of school since May so we don't even have my school apartment to go to, which is when we would usually sleep together. We rarely have time alone and when we do I don't feel like it anymore! I was on the depo shot for a while, which I think really affected my sex drive, and it also made sex painful for me :/ Now that I'm off of it it's hard to think about sex because I associate it with hurting, but my poor fiancee really misses the sex we used to have. One thing I've found that helps is talking it up with him. If we know we're going to have some private time one evening we'll spend the day emailing each other and texting each other about what we want to do later that night. It gets me worked up and thinking about it and then by the time it rolls around I'm excited about it! Give it a try!

 

[glamdoll]

Im on hormonal BC and had my son 9 months ago..
its so hard for me to get interested in sex too!
i dunno why.
well its not SO HARD anymore
but at first it was..
I am regaining interest slowly but surely
my hubby doesnt pressure me thou
I love him!

 

[LMcConnell18]

wow! thanx girls. yea i did notice for awhile that it might the birth control. i heard that somewhere and it started happening right aroun the time that i decided to switch! so maybe that was what it was for awhile... but now im not even on bc.. and unfortunately, i must agree that SOMETIMES... sex seems so disgusting and such a turn off.. that thinking about HIM wanting it makes me mad! lol. not so much anymore.. and i read in cosmo a few months ago... that having sex even when u dont really want to, can help with raising ur sexual appetite. thanx for ur comments... lol. now i dont feel like im the only freak of nature that my poor boyfriend got stuck with!

 

[Shimmer]

Masturbate.

 

[Another Janice!]

sex. meh.

DH and I had sex a record 3 times last year.

Used to want it all the time, now I could completely care less.

 

[swtginbug]

yeah if your on a hormonal birth control it happens. you lose your appetite for sex. so, i suggest just try to fight it but he loves you so no worries..

 

[PrudeyNudey]

How frustrating! I have the most gorgeous, sexy bf and sometimes i can't be bothered having sex..its as though my eyes are doing the indulging but my body just can't be stuffed...I agree with what prinzessin said because if we depart even if it's only for a day or somthing i can have a hot bath, put on some perfume and candles etc some sexy underwear and then i get really excited and i can ravish him when he walks in the door.....Also i think the best time would be early afternoon because if your like me and leave it too late i get tired and then my libido drops... i hope i have blabbered on too much about nothing hahaha.... let us know how u go

 

[Katura]

Now I have the opposite question...I have a huge sexual appetite...and my man...has none.

He tells me its because he's tired, but theres no way you can be tired evvvvvery day of you life. I just want a little more than a kiss! Any suggestions ladies???

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Another Janice! sex. meh. DH and I had sex a record 3 times last year. Used to want it all the time, now I could completely care less.

I'm sorry

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katura Now I have the opposite question...I have a huge sexual appetite...and my man...has none. He tells me its because he's tired, but theres no way you can be tired evvvvvery day of you life. I just want a little more than a kiss! Any suggestions ladies???

I like the agree with the advice about sending dirty text messages and such... Nothing like catching him completely off guard when he's not, "tired." That was also fun for me, to make him want me when he coulnd't have me. You could also call him up with some dirty talk in your best, "fuck me" voice (we all have them

). This way you get him thinking about you all day long, and by the time he gets home he wont be able to keep his hands off you.

I dunno though... I always question guys who dont want to be with their wives/girlfriends on a regular basis. In my expierence all guys want sex, a lot. And if there not getting it from you, there getting it from themselves, or another girl. But maybe i'm just being cynical because i've been burned in the past.

Kinda OT / TMI, but I was over at my Moms house, and saw the, "personal lubricant." Left out on the night stand on his side of the bed. And was so happy that my parents were still loving each other after all these years. My dad travels a LOT, and I'm always worried that he's going to cheat on my Mom, or worse. Especially since they never technically got married, and he's 10 years younger than she is, and has just come into a LOT of money. He's also a very attractive man, and I guess part of me always fears that he's gonna run off and start a family (he always wanted his own kids, but never got the chance to do that with my Mom) with some younger attractive girl that wants a rich husband.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMcConnell18 that having sex even when u dont really want to, can help with raising ur sexual appetite. thanx for ur comments... lol. now i dont feel like im the only freak of nature that my poor boyfriend got stuck with!

Yup. My Libido goes WAY down if I have an long period w/out any intimate contact. I'm not a huge fan of masterbation eigther. I dont think it's gross or anything, but it's just not the same. However once i get laid, I really want to get laid a LOT. LOL.

 

[medusalox]

It's rare that I'll want sex, but I'm a busy busy busy girl, so I'm just tired all the time. Plus, I'm 3 years into my relationship. We still have the spark, it's just....faded a wee bit.

The one thing I've realized is that even though I may not be interested, once things get going, I'm usually quite happy and into it! I think what keeps me from being the crazy nymphomaniac that I used to be is all mental..."Wait, no, sex takes too much energy and time, I'd rather nap"....

But then we get going at it, and I remember why I like it so much!

My advice? Give yourself a pep talk, tell yourself how much you love your SO and remind yourself how enjoyable sex is.

Good luck!

 

[user79]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Another Janice! sex. meh. DH and I had sex a record 3 times last year. Used to want it all the time, now I could completely care less.

Are BOTH of you satisfied with this, though? I mean, if both partners are ok with the amount of sex you're having, then that's fine, but if one person only wants it very rarely (like 3 times a zear) and the other person is completely unsatisfied with that, it could cause problems long term. So I'm not sure if that's really good advice to be giving...