Big changes in blindpassions life.

[blindpassion]

Some of you already know about this, and some of you don't. But I am doing some soul searching and would love imput from everyone.

Three big changes are happening in my life as of now:

1. I am breaking up with my boyfriend tomorrow. I love him with all my heart, but he relies on me too much and therefore I resent him, and I am mean to him due to that resentment. He hasnt been single since he was 13, he needs to go and do that!

2. After I made this realization that I needed to be single, I also made a realization that I am fat. Fatty mcfat. I emailed a personal trainer tonight and I plan to start a program and loose upwards of 30 - 40 pounds. I used to be about 20 pounds lighter, and I was still a bit too big. Once I met my boyfriend, I became so lazy. He eats a lot, and therefore I did. But I want to be confident and skinny, and feel like I can go out on dates and with friends and dont always be aware of my fat body!

3. I am going to a counsellor to learn to love myself again, and to work on accepting the issues I have with my dad.

If anyone has any advice for me in the coming weeks, it would be so apprecaited.


UPDATE: For anyone who is curious - I have stuck to all the changes that I said I was going to make, and am working away at them. My boyfriend and I broke up, and I've been seeing a personal trainer x2 a week

Things are going well.

 

[RedRibbon]

Breaking up with someone and deciding to lose weight at the same time can get you down, I don't mean to start on such a negative note but this post will pick up

There are going to be times when the weight doesn't come off as fast as you want it to and you will think that you have nobody to talk to about it as you're no longer in a relationship and why couldn't you just have not changed anything...DON'T LET THAT GET YOU DOWN!

If ever you feel that it's not coming off fast enough and you feel a bit upset about this, get on the WiiFit if you have it, it's brilliant, works a charm for me when I'm losing weight and Mr RR isn't there to discuss it, you feel a lot better when you get of and a lot happier.

Also, remember that the changes won't happen overnight, I found it easy to take a photo of myself every week as I couldn't see the difference but when I look back on them now I'm surprised at how fast the turnaround happened.

Finally, most fat people think that getting thin will be the answer to their prayers, speaking one of those people I'd like to warn you that this isn't true, when I was fat I never really worried about how I looked in a group of friends and was never really that conscious, once you get slimmer you become a lot more conscious of people looking at you and it's very easy to fall in the "oh my god nobody noticed me so I must get thinner" trap. It's also very easy to carry on exercising to lose weight instead of staying healthy after you've reached your ideal weight..it happened to me, I went from weighing 16 stone, going down to 10 stones and then down to 8.5 which was way too thin for me but you will reach a static amount at some point.

Finally, keep your head up, it can be done!

 

[Susanne]

Every decision has a sense earlier or later! My life changed a lot during the last two years as well.

I left my ex-boyfriend two years ago after seven years. We wanted to marry but I had that feeling inside it would be wrong. There were not many people who could understand my decision or who supported me. Those were hard weeks for me. Today I live on my own, have an awesome new relationship and never regreted my decision.

My parents split up five years ago, they are divorced since two years now. The relationship to my father had always been not the best, the one to my mother got worse after the divorce. I even can't tell you why, I had always tried to support her. Today I have hardly any contact to both of them, just a little bit. It was very hard for me to live with it all (not with the divorce but with all the consequences of it), but I have found a way for me to handle it.

I heard three weeks ago that I will loose my job at my school after the summer vacation. I still don't know how it will go on for me. I must be patient, there will be a solution or another opportunity for me.

What I want to say - I have learned to enjoy my life the way it is and every single day of it. I really believe that things will be fine and everything has a sense.
I have learned so much about myself during the last two years and I am proud to be who I am. Of course I would love to get my parents' love and support, of course I wish I already had a new job. But there will be a way.

All I can tell you is listen to your heart and to yourself, never give up hope and don't loose yourself!

There might be hard weeks coming for you, but you will just be stronger.

Take care!!

 

[nunu]

As i said in the other thread, i admire your courage to make these changes, it must have been so hard for you. I command you for realizing that you need these changes for yourself as a person.

Always ask yourself if you find it hard to do something "What's the worst that could happen?". Use the best/worst analysis formula to help you make decisions. These decisions are going to help you become the person that you want to be.

Taking risks and making big decisions helps you grow as a person and nurtures you. Just remember that you are doing this for you not for anyone else.

Good Luck.

 

[Willa]

You're taking a big step and I respect that
I love when people WANTS to make things change
It will only be for good, I'm telling you
6 years ago I changed my life all over, changed city, changed friends etc...
Best decision I ever made

If you need a motivation body for the weight loss, just holla

Congrats for these decisions, really!

 

[Miss QQ]

I don't have any advice at the moment. I applaud you for making these changes in your life. Since you have already decided, don't regret and see where this takes you. It will be difficult at first, but you will grow into a stronger woman. Good luck! Thanks for sharing this as I myself have been wanting changes in my life but I have no idea where to start.

 

[blindpassion]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedRibbon Breaking up with someone and deciding to lose weight at the same time can get you down, I don't mean to start on such a negative note but this post will pick up There are going to be times when the weight doesn't come off as fast as you want it to and you will think that you have nobody to talk to about it as you're no longer in a relationship and why couldn't you just have not changed anything...DON'T LET THAT GET YOU DOWN! If ever you feel that it's not coming off fast enough and you feel a bit upset about this, get on the WiiFit if you have it, it's brilliant, works a charm for me when I'm losing weight and Mr RR isn't there to discuss it, you feel a lot better when you get of and a lot happier. Also, remember that the changes won't happen overnight, I found it easy to take a photo of myself every week as I couldn't see the difference but when I look back on them now I'm surprised at how fast the turnaround happened. Finally, most fat people think that getting thin will be the answer to their prayers, speaking one of those people I'd like to warn you that this isn't true, when I was fat I never really worried about how I looked in a group of friends and was never really that conscious, once you get slimmer you become a lot more conscious of people looking at you and it's very easy to fall in the "oh my god nobody noticed me so I must get thinner" trap. It's also very easy to carry on exercising to lose weight instead of staying healthy after you've reached your ideal weight..it happened to me, I went from weighing 16 stone, going down to 10 stones and then down to 8.5 which was way too thin for me but you will reach a static amount at some point. Finally, keep your head up, it can be done!

Thanks for letting me know your experience

Im not getting thin to solve my problems, I actually have very few life problems.

Im getting thin because I used to be thin, and its unnatural for me to be over weight

Also because I don't want to get diabetes or anything else from continuing to slowly put on the pounds over the years. And mostly because I am unhappy with the weight gain that happened because I got lazy.

Ive also found it quite easy for me to loose weight in the past, so thats a bonus!

 

[joey444]

I don't have any advice but I want to wish you the best in these life changing moments for you!

 

[RedRibbon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blindpassion Thanks for letting me know your experience Im not getting thin to solve my problems, I actually have very few life problems. Im getting thin because I used to be thin, and its unnatural for me to be over weight Also because I don't want to get diabetes or anything else from continuing to slowly put on the pounds over the years. And mostly because I am unhappy with the weight gain that happened because I got lazy. Ive also found it quite easy for me to loose weight in the past, so thats a bonus!

Hey, I hope you didn't take offence at my post, I didn't mean that you were getting thin to solve problems you had in your life.

 

[blindpassion]

Oh! Never, don't worry, you didnt offend me at all. I like hearing other peoples experiences! It reminds me how different and yet the same we all are at points in our lives.

 

[yodagirl]

I don't have much advice for you (I'm going through a huge storm in my life right now as well), but I wish you the best of luck in the coming months! Your a beautiful woman who will become so much stronger

 

[TISH1124]

We have already talked about this...But you know I am sending you the best of wishes...I know it will all work out!! Just take one day at a time....Change doesn't happen overnight...But it does happen in time.

Good Luck and big huggs...sounds like you are taking control of your life!

 

[sweatpea559]

I read your post about loosing weight and was going to reply but you and tish seem to have it all figured out! It sounds like you had some really good habits when you were thin and it's just a matter of getting back into them. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[LMD84]

good luck with everything. lots of big desisions that you have made and as long as you are happy with them go for it!

loosing weight is obviously going to mame you happier (it's not nice being bigger when you know you are not meant to be so curvy!)

breaking up with your guy sounds tough but you have lots of people on specktra who will always listen to you and give advice!

it does sound like it's going to be a good thing not just for you but for him too.

and lastly well done! you're taking control of your life which is an amazing thing! i see so many people around me moaning about their own lives and never actually do anything about it! i wish you all the luck in the world!

 

[NernersHuman]

I applaud you for wanting to make positive changes in your life. Just remember to be good and kind to yourself during this transitional period. You'll have good and bad days, but don't get discouraged. It sounds like you have thought all this out very carefully.

 

[blindpassion]

Thanks everyone for your support!

I went to my personal trainer today and we are getting started with working out tomorrow.

 

[frocher]

,,,,,,,

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blindpassion Some of you already know about this, and some of you don't. But I am doing some soul searching and would love imput from everyone. Three big changes are happening in my life as of now: 1. I am breaking up with my boyfriend tomorrow. I love him with all my heart, but he relies on me too much and therefore I resent him, and I am mean to him due to that resentment. He hasnt been single since he was 13, he needs to go and do that! 2. After I made this realization that I needed to be single, I also made a realization that I am fat. Fatty mcfat. I emailed a personal trainer tonight and I plan to start a program and loose upwards of 30 - 40 pounds. I used to be about 20 pounds lighter, and I was still a bit too big. Once I met my boyfriend, I became so lazy. He eats a lot, and therefore I did. But I want to be confident and skinny, and feel like I can go out on dates and with friends and dont always be aware of my fat body! 3. I am going to a counsellor to learn to love myself again, and to work on accepting the issues I have with my dad. If anyone has any advice for me in the coming weeks, it would be so apprecaited.

I am experiencing that right now. Hopefully after June when I move back home to SF (I'll be 6 hours away from him) I will stop being lazy and work out more. Being with him is great but I just keep eating whatever, whenever.


__________

I'm glad you are takign these steps. Baby steps. I'm happy that you are starting from somewhere. With some confidence and some time, you can accomplish all the things you want.

GL!

 

[kaliraksha]

I've waited a while to post so I could do a proper check-in. How's it been going?

I'm glad you decided to make these changes and it's so great that you have a plan... it's so much worse to go through something(s) big and just let the experiences take you where they will. Congrats on taking charge of your life and hope you are feeling superb!

 

[blindpassion]

Thanks hun!

Things are going really good over all. I've felt a lot of stress and anxiety due to the break up and the large changes going on in my life. But I feel like I am living in a very positive place and working through it one day at a time

Thankyou so much to everyone for your support.