eastsidesunset
Well-known member
For years I've dealt with the world's most difficult thyroid (it's gone back an forth between high and low for years, and doctors haven't been able to treat it one way without forcing it in the opposite direction). Part of the problem with the constant back and forth for me has been a total loss of energy and desire to get up and do pretty much anything. Thyroid issues can trigger depression because the hormones are all related, and knowing this I'm still surprised at how absolutely depressed I am now after seeing a picture of myself from a month ago.
Four years ago, I was 120 lbs , in pretty good shape, and I see a picture my cousin took of my family on her myspace and I want to cry. I'm five foot two, and pushing 150 lbs. Now, I know that this is slightly overweight, given my height and all, and my doctors have told me it's completely thyroid related as my eating habits haven't changed and my thyroid is the cause of my lack of energy and all, but damn if I still feel horrible. I was on hormones for a couple of months and lost all the weight, but was taken off of them because my thyroid went high again and I lost a large amount of hair. Now, I can feel my body getting all jacked from my thyroid, I'm gaining weight like nobody's business, and my stupid doctor can't see me for over a month! I'm absolutely depressed about it, mostly from thinking that if I think I'm gross and disgusting, my SO must think so too.
I've talked a little about it with him, and he's admitted that I have gained some weight, but that it doesn't change how he feels about me. I'm having to force myself to work out for a little everyday, but there's been no difference. I know how hard the thyroid weight is to lose without hormone treatment, but geez can't my booty cut me some slack?
So my point- It's absolutely horrifying for me to understand how the idea of beauty is shoved down society's throat by the media, and still feel like I need to be tiny to be pretty and attractive. Knowing that it's not realistic doesn't stop me from wanting it to some degree. Everyday I tell my friends that they're pretty, not fat, that they should ignore the media, and that as long as they're healthy and comfortable with themselves there's nothing to worry about, yet I can't take my own damn advice.
I feel silly posting here, but I needed to vent and thought there might be someone with advice. I've thought about going back on antidepressants, but honestly, I wasn't happy on them. At this point, I'm almost willing to try anything to get the weight off and be undepressed again. I miss happy
.
Everyone is beautiful, it's just hard to see it in yourself sometimes.
Four years ago, I was 120 lbs , in pretty good shape, and I see a picture my cousin took of my family on her myspace and I want to cry. I'm five foot two, and pushing 150 lbs. Now, I know that this is slightly overweight, given my height and all, and my doctors have told me it's completely thyroid related as my eating habits haven't changed and my thyroid is the cause of my lack of energy and all, but damn if I still feel horrible. I was on hormones for a couple of months and lost all the weight, but was taken off of them because my thyroid went high again and I lost a large amount of hair. Now, I can feel my body getting all jacked from my thyroid, I'm gaining weight like nobody's business, and my stupid doctor can't see me for over a month! I'm absolutely depressed about it, mostly from thinking that if I think I'm gross and disgusting, my SO must think so too.
I've talked a little about it with him, and he's admitted that I have gained some weight, but that it doesn't change how he feels about me. I'm having to force myself to work out for a little everyday, but there's been no difference. I know how hard the thyroid weight is to lose without hormone treatment, but geez can't my booty cut me some slack?
So my point- It's absolutely horrifying for me to understand how the idea of beauty is shoved down society's throat by the media, and still feel like I need to be tiny to be pretty and attractive. Knowing that it's not realistic doesn't stop me from wanting it to some degree. Everyday I tell my friends that they're pretty, not fat, that they should ignore the media, and that as long as they're healthy and comfortable with themselves there's nothing to worry about, yet I can't take my own damn advice.
I feel silly posting here, but I needed to vent and thought there might be someone with advice. I've thought about going back on antidepressants, but honestly, I wasn't happy on them. At this point, I'm almost willing to try anything to get the weight off and be undepressed again. I miss happy
Everyone is beautiful, it's just hard to see it in yourself sometimes.
