Boyfriend making no effort?

[dietcokeg]

Hey everyone! haven't posted in a long time but here goes:

i've been with this guy for slightly over a year things were great for the first few months, we met in college and i went home for the summer so i didnt get to see him much but we got through that great. i've been back up in the city since september although i go to a different college now i live literally 5 minutes away from where he goes to college. he works twice a week as well as college.

He rarely calls me and i hardly see him even though i live so close to where he goes to college 4 times a week! we never ever do anything, he never takes me out or anything, complaines hes too broke - i am in no way materialistic and i am very independent and don't mind paying for myself - but come on ladies we all know we like to be treated special every once in a while.

on valentines day i didn't see him at all he didn't even text me saying happy valentines, he just text me saying hes on his way home from college. On our one year anniversary, same thing happened didn't even get a happy anniversary, not even a dollar store card! i had a talk with him about it and he felt bad and said its because he was broke - i said all i wanted was to see him and that costs nothing. we talked about how he never calls me or anything, he just texts me and even then its not that much. Now keep in mind i know he's not cheating or anything, that i know for a fact i just feel like he doesn't appreciate me.

he talks about his exes frequently and hes even been with two girls in his class in college (talk about pissing on your own doorstep). when we first went out toghether he told me he had a hard time getting over his ex that he was with for 3 years and all that and i understood bc i was in a 4 year relationship before. (he broke up with his ex about a year before we met so it was quite some time).

sorry this is so long - what do you girls think? hes still not over his ex? have any of you girls been with someone who made no effort? he genuinley thinks hes doing nothing wrong

 

[Piarpreet]

Hey everyone! haven't posted in a long time but here goes:

i've been with this guy for slightly over a year things were great for the first few months, we met in college and i went home for the summer so i didnt get to see him much but we got through that great. i've been back up in the city since september although i go to a different college now i live literally 5 minutes away from where he goes to college. he works twice a week as well as college.

He rarely calls me and i hardly see him even though i live so close to where he goes to college 4 times a week! we never ever do anything, he never takes me out or anything, complaines hes too broke - i am in no way materialistic and i am very independent and don't mind paying for myself - but come on ladies we all know we like to be treated special every once in a while.

on valentines day i didn't see him at all he didn't even text me saying happy valentines, he just text me saying hes on his way home from college. On our one year anniversary, same thing happened didn't even get a happy anniversary, not even a dollar store card! i had a talk with him about it and he felt bad and said its because he was broke - i said all i wanted was to see him and that costs nothing. we talked about how he never calls me or anything, he just texts me and even then its not that much. Now keep in mind i know he's not cheating or anything, that i know for a fact i just feel like he doesn't appreciate me.

he talks about his exes frequently and hes even been with two girls in his class in college (talk about pissing on your own doorstep). when we first went out toghether he told me he had a hard time getting over his ex that he was with for 3 years and all that and i understood bc i was in a 4 year relationship before. (he broke up with his ex about a year before we met so it was quite some time).

sorry this is so long - what do you girls think? hes still not over his ex? have any of you girls been with someone who made no effort? he genuinley thinks hes doing nothing wrong

i think u got your answer right there hun.

 

[Babylard]

Well..... it sounds like he just isn't that into you D; my bf is pretty broke too, but he still tries very hard. he texts/skypes me all the time when we aren't together. He didn't get me anything for valentine's day, but he still took me out fo a movie. A person will make the effort if she/he cares enough to. My high school bf was pretty dull and made no effort and I eventually came to the conclusion that he just didn't care. I rather be with someone one that values me as much as he values himself. Just my opinion though, I don't know your man personally, so it's hard to say.

 

[Piarpreet]

mine too. U definitely KNOW when they r into u

Well..... it sounds like he just isn't that into you D; my bf is pretty broke too, but he still tries very hard. he texts/skypes me all the time when we aren't together. He didn't get me anything for valentine's day, but he still took me out fo a movie. A person will make the effort if she/he cares enough to. My high school bf was pretty dull and made no effort and I eventually came to the conclusion that he just didn't care. I rather be with someone one that values me as much as he values himself. Just my opinion though, I don't know your man personally, so it's hard to say.

 

[kimbunney]

Are you guys being intimate with each other still? I know thats personal but if so then that would explain why he's really there. If you guys are not intimate then I agree with Babylard maybe he's just not into like that. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you it's just that he has other things going on in his life and obviously doesn't have time to commit to this one. You can't force him to commit or be there if he doesn't want too I think you should just let it go. I know its hard to move on, but just think of all the time you're wasting trying to get him to just "see" you when someone else can be there that wants too. Good luck.

 

[dietcokeg]

thank you ladies! yes we are intimate. hes in his final year in law school and i am doing my masters at the moment so i know he's busy with that and he pays his own way through college by working so very independent which i like. but even lately when he didnt have exam stress etc and he could come see or what not he didn't make the effort and his excuse for valentines was that he didn't want to come empty handed so he didn't come at all? i think i'am just losing my patience and i've had enough. i know i deserve someone to treat me better. we both have different things going on i am very busy too but i am willing to make time for us whereas hes not but he always tells me how much he loves and cares for me so i guess i am a bit confused.

 

[Dreaming Dancer]

I think that you deserve to be treated better. Actions always speak louder than words. If a guy is that into you then he will move heaven and earth to please you.

 

[bosskitty]

Give him the elbow!
You need to find someone better that makes you more happy. He really doesnt seem bothered.
If he really was bothered theres plenty of things he can do with you that dont cost alot of money.

And if you think about it I'm sure you know the answer to the question your asking yourself anyway.

 

[dietcokeg]

thank you ladies!! i guess i know i deserve better! you know what its like, we are all good at giving advice but not taking it!

 

[Piarpreet]

thank you ladies!! i guess i know i deserve better! you know what its like, we are all good at giving advice but not taking it!

so true... I saw a teeshirt in H&M that said "take my advice..... I dont need it" and i loled

 

[kimbunney]

That's me love to give it but can't take it especially when it comes to my relationships. I always have this complex if I give up I'm not trying hard enough, but I can tell others especially my friends to just walk away. lol It's always so different when its YOU!

thank you ladies!! i guess i know i deserve better! you know what its like, we are all good at giving advice but not taking it!

 

[3773519]

Seems like a lot of men are broke these days. But I believe that shouldnt stop him from making the effort to see you or spend time with you. Especially after you expressed your issues. Is he still not over his ex? Who knows. My ex still has his door open for me and its been 2 years and he knows Ive moved on. Id hate to give this advice but Im thinking about it in my own perspective, maybe you should move on to someone that has time for you.