xoxredefined
Active member
I dont really have anyone to talk to about this situation and my boyfriend thinks im just over reacting a little.
Its a difficult situation to talk about how long he and I have been together for, but its currently at the stage where he wants to get engaged. He brings it up all the time and we talk about the future and having children a lot. So were in a pretty serious relationship. Were both in our 20's. I am West Indian (Black)-Canadian born in Canada and he is Serbian-Croatian born in Serbia. His partents were born overseas, had him and moved here.
I have never had a serious problem with his parents. They dont like having his friends in their house so I never go into his house when his parents are home. I dont mind. He used to live on his own for school. but something happened and until it is resolved he is living with his parents. I have met them on several occations but not for long amounts of time. One day I was talking to my boyfriend and I asked him if they have ever talked about me. He said not really. When someone says not really, then there has to be a yes in there somewhere. So I told him to tell me and he told a little story which implied that his father was racist. It came to a surprise to me because even though his parents were never talkive to me they and more importantly, his father, never seemed racist towards me.
Then the other day I was invited by my boyfriend into the house for a couple minutes so he could grab his things and head out. His dad was in the shower and his mom was in the hall as I walked in. I said "Hi, How are you?" and she just said "Im fine." Again, very quite towards me with very short answers. She then started to say something in Serbian to my boyfriend and he says ok and we left. Then I asked him what she said and he said "Said she now is not a good time".
My boyfriend always asks me to come inside his house but I keep telling him I dont want to feel like I am intruding their space and will not go in unless I am invitied by them or they are not home (ie. at work, or vacation). He gets a little upset that I dont ever go inside when they are home, but I feel it is the right thing to do.
When my boyfriend comes to my house, im used to my mom talking up a storm with him about anything and everything! So im not really used to his quick short answer that I receive from his mother. And the fact that his father is racist really unsettles me and upsets me. My boyfriend said him and his father have had 1 or 2 converstations about me and each time my boyfriend stood up for me because his father would call me "that black girl" and wouldnt use my name ever even though he knew it.
Questions:
How do I get past this with his parents?
Is it possible to get his dad to accept me for being black or should I just not care and just focus on my boyfriend?
Am I just over reacting like my boyfriend thinks I am?
Let me know your experience!!
Any help and input is greated appreciated
(Im sorry its so long. I tired to get the main points in there and still missed a lot of information. But I hope it was enough for people to understand my feelings)
Its a difficult situation to talk about how long he and I have been together for, but its currently at the stage where he wants to get engaged. He brings it up all the time and we talk about the future and having children a lot. So were in a pretty serious relationship. Were both in our 20's. I am West Indian (Black)-Canadian born in Canada and he is Serbian-Croatian born in Serbia. His partents were born overseas, had him and moved here.
I have never had a serious problem with his parents. They dont like having his friends in their house so I never go into his house when his parents are home. I dont mind. He used to live on his own for school. but something happened and until it is resolved he is living with his parents. I have met them on several occations but not for long amounts of time. One day I was talking to my boyfriend and I asked him if they have ever talked about me. He said not really. When someone says not really, then there has to be a yes in there somewhere. So I told him to tell me and he told a little story which implied that his father was racist. It came to a surprise to me because even though his parents were never talkive to me they and more importantly, his father, never seemed racist towards me.
Then the other day I was invited by my boyfriend into the house for a couple minutes so he could grab his things and head out. His dad was in the shower and his mom was in the hall as I walked in. I said "Hi, How are you?" and she just said "Im fine." Again, very quite towards me with very short answers. She then started to say something in Serbian to my boyfriend and he says ok and we left. Then I asked him what she said and he said "Said she now is not a good time".
My boyfriend always asks me to come inside his house but I keep telling him I dont want to feel like I am intruding their space and will not go in unless I am invitied by them or they are not home (ie. at work, or vacation). He gets a little upset that I dont ever go inside when they are home, but I feel it is the right thing to do.
When my boyfriend comes to my house, im used to my mom talking up a storm with him about anything and everything! So im not really used to his quick short answer that I receive from his mother. And the fact that his father is racist really unsettles me and upsets me. My boyfriend said him and his father have had 1 or 2 converstations about me and each time my boyfriend stood up for me because his father would call me "that black girl" and wouldnt use my name ever even though he knew it.
Questions:
How do I get past this with his parents?
Is it possible to get his dad to accept me for being black or should I just not care and just focus on my boyfriend?
Am I just over reacting like my boyfriend thinks I am?
Let me know your experience!!
Any help and input is greated appreciated
(Im sorry its so long. I tired to get the main points in there and still missed a lot of information. But I hope it was enough for people to understand my feelings)
