Child rearing ethics

[lovemichelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawna You're right, I don't need to look like a movie star. But I am mostly a stay at home mom, and I gotta tell you I love when people look at me and say "wow, you have a kid?" It is a way for me to keep my own identity as "shawna" rather than "graham's mommy" I have worn mac for years because it doesn't bother my ultra sensitive skin, but it has been the past 2 years that I really got back into it. I look forward to new collections because it is something just for me. It doesn't involve my husband or child (well, it does when he gets into my MU, but that's another story) It is something for me and me alone. If I want to glam it up and look movie-starish, mac is the way to go. I am saddened that people are upset about the practices of the corporation, but I am sure other companies out there are just as bad, and one wouldn't have to dig too deep to find controversy. As for me, I am happy buying mac, and I will continue to do so. Until my hubby cuts me off

Cuts you off... meaning he pays for it?

 

[leppy]

She said she is a stay at home Mom. When one person is the bread winner and the other takes care of the kids, its an arrangement between two people. One is doing the work at home enabling the other to work outside of the home. Therefore his money is their money, as I'm sure he doesn't pay her a salary for doing her part of taking care of the family.

 

[Juneplum]

^ i was JUST going to say the same thing!

 

[user4]

Quote:

Originally Posted by leppy She said she is a stay at home Mom. When one person is the bread winner and the other takes care of the kids, its an arrangement between two people. One is doing the work at home enabling the other to work outside of the home. Therefore his money is their money, as I'm sure he doesn't pay her a salary for doing her part of taking care of the family.

im going to totally agree with u there leppy!!!

 

[Shawna]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemichelle Cuts you off... meaning he pays for it?

I wish! Actually, I work evenings and weekends to help out with mortgage and all the bills. Whatever is left over is my money to take Graham out for lunch and to buy clothes and makeup. Honestly, I hardly ever see my hubby. He is always coming home from work and I am heading off to work. But Graham doesn't have to go to daycare this way, and working helps give me a break away from home. He just gets pissy about the makeup once and a while and thinks I should spend it on other things........like video games for him.

So really, if you think about it, I work almost 24/7 and mac is my treat to myself.

 

[lovemichelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawna I wish! Actually, I work evenings and weekends to help out with mortgage and all the bills. Whatever is left over is my money to take Graham out for lunch and to buy clothes and makeup. Honestly, I hardly ever see my hubby. He is always coming home from work and I am heading off to work. But Graham doesn't have to go to daycare this way, and working helps give me a break away from home. He just gets pissy about the makeup once and a while and thinks I should spend it on other things........like video games for him. So really, if you think about it, I work almost 24/7 and mac is my treat to myself.

That's pretty cool. I hope you didn't take offense to what I said. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I know a lot of people are just stay at home moms and their boyfriends or husbands pay for everything, but if it was me I couldn't do that. I was raised by a single parent who worked two jobs so the whole stay at home mom "job" is silly to me. I find it very respectable that you also work. That's a real women in my eyes. I give you a lot of respect for that.

 

[I love Brian Kinney]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemichelle That's pretty cool. I hope you didn't take offense to what I said. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I know a lot of people are just stay at home moms and their boyfriends or husbands pay for everything, but if it was me I couldn't do that. I was raised by a single parent who worked two jobs so the whole stay at home mom "job" is silly to me. I find it very respectable that you also work. That's a real women in my eyes. I give you a lot of respect for that.

Wow..I'm a stay at home mom of a 2 year old boy and I think I always thought it was fulfilling.

 

[Catherine^]

Quote:

Originally Posted by I love Brian Kinney Wow..I'm a stay at home mom of a 2 year old boy and I think I always thought it was fulfilling.

My Mum was (and still is) a stay at home Mum and I am grateful every day that she was ALWAYS there for us.

 

[Gloriamgo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemichelle That's pretty cool. I hope you didn't take offense to what I said. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I know a lot of people are just stay at home moms and their boyfriends or husbands pay for everything, but if it was me I couldn't do that. I was raised by a single parent who worked two jobs so the whole stay at home mom "job" is silly to me. I find it very respectable that you also work. That's a real women in my eyes. I give you a lot of respect for that.

You obviously don't have kids! It is very difficult to balance having a job and taking care of your children. It is also a very difficult decision for a parent to make because the time you spend at your job is time away from your children which also means that you may miss some of the milestones that they reach, which I am sure is heart wrenching. Some parents are single and therefore have no other choice but to work one or more jobs, but I'm sure that if you ask your mom what would have been the ideal for her when you were younger, she would probably say that she would have liked to spend more time with you than work so much. Being a stay-at-home mom is very respectable and is definitely a JOB, because it never ends, you never get to clock out and walk out of some building and just put it all behind you until the next day/shift, it is around the clock, good and bad, and you can NEVER put it behind you until some other time. And that does not include just taking care of the kids, there are a lot more things that need to be fit in in between that. To me, that is far from a silly job.

 

[Jude]

At first, I read and participated in this thread with mild annoyance at some of the things that LoveMichelle had to say but now, I am just reading this perplexed as she digs herself in, what seems to me, a deeper hole. So now I am thinking that surely, this person can not be serious because these statements and points of view just become more outlandish and polarizing post by post!

 

[lovemichelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gloriamgo You obviously don't have kids! It is very difficult to balance having a job and taking care of your children. It is also a very difficult decision for a parent to make because the time you spend at your job is time away from your children which also means that you may miss some of the milestones that they reach, which I am sure is heart wrenching. Some parents are single and therefore have no other choice but to work one or more jobs, but I'm sure that if you ask your mom what would have been the ideal for her when you were younger, she would probably say that she would have liked to spend more time with you than work so much. Being a stay-at-home mom is very respectable and is definitely a JOB, because it never ends, you never get to clock out and walk out of some building and just put it all behind you until the next day/shift, it is around the clock, good and bad, and you can NEVER put it behind you until some other time. And that does not include just taking care of the kids, there are a lot more things that need to be fit in in between that. To me, that is far from a silly job.

I have asked my mom and my mother is a person who loves to work she can't just sit around. She hates even getting two days off a week. I thank her for the way I was raised. I basically raised myself, but I have a lot more respect for her then other people do for their parents. I am 22 so yes I do not have kids. I don't ever want them, but if it ever happens I would still be working. I don't look at anyone else and say oh she's a stay-at-home mom, that's what I wanna be. I take my mother as an example and would show my kids that women work also, not just daddy. Some people rather just stay at home, but I can't just be home all day. I don't think staying at home with your kids is a job, no matter how great it makes you feel. I've seen people who stayed with their kids while they were young then just stayed outta work even when the kids were bigger. I think kids should be taught work ethic along with other things.

And you had the kids, so that is not a job. I consider a job, a workplace not your home and taking care of your kids. That's just something you have to do. You choose to open your legs so you knew what could happen. These are my opinions and there is no need to bash me for them.

 

[lovemichelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DopeSickGirl At first, I read and participated in this thread with mild annoyance at some of the things that LoveMichelle had to say but now, I am just reading this perplexed as she digs herself in, what seems to me, a deeper hole. So now I am thinking that surely, this person can not be serious because these statements and points of view just become more outlandish and polarizing post by post!

I am serious. I am not ashamed of my opinions. I have VERY different opinions from a lot of people and I've only met one person in my life who respected me for being different. Defiantly wasn't someone on the net either because everyone tries to bash me for my opinions. Makes no sense to me, but I don't care. I love how I think and that's all that matters. No one has to agree with me, but being respectful is important.

 

[jaci core]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemichelle You choose to open your legs so you knew what could happen. These are my opinions and there is no need to bash me for them.

all right, dude.
i sat here and read this entire thread without thinking of throwing my two cents in, but that sentence right there pissed me off.

not only was it rude and uncalled for, it's hypocritical. you can't say something like that, which is 'bashing' someone, and then in your next breath expect people not to bash you. absolutely not.

i don't post a lot on here, but i read it a lot, and i love this forum.

above and beyond, this is a MAKE UP FORUM.

for the most part, it's supposed to be a delightful and happy place for MAC and other makeup brand fans to come and discuss things they have in common. i certainly do not come here to read bullshit like that.

i know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and i'm a large advocate for practicing freedom of speech, but there is a place and a time for everything, and specktra is not a place to belittle someone for a personal or life choice they made.

 

[Jude]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemichelle I am serious. I am not ashamed of my opinions. I have VERY different opinions from a lot of people and I've only met one person in my life who respected me for being different. Defiantly wasn't someone on the net either because everyone tries to bash me for my opinions. Makes no sense to me, but I don't care. I love how I think and that's all that matters. No one has to agree with me, but being respectful is important.

You are a very interesting person Michelle. In one moment you criticize people because of their choices and in the next, you ask not to be bashed because of your opinions. I ask you one thing, if you don't respect people's choices and have an attitude of live and let live, how can expect anyone else to respect your own opinions on anything? When you yourself don't give the same allowances you ask for?

 

[sigwing]

To go from talking about makeup to debating stay-at-home moms vs. working moms is a huge jump that should probably be avoided. I've been in some of the worst online feuds ever seen, and for no reason or really stupid ones, and besides the old rule of not discussing politics, religion or sex at dinner parties in order to get along, this is another issue here that can escalate further and really there is no winner. There are good AND bad moms in both categories that I'm sure we can all picture examples of. Please don't carry politics into makeup topics. I understand nobody here knows me, or maybe even cares what I say or acknowledges it, but I'm just making a suggestion to everyone to step back and not get into anything we feel personally, such as whose mother did a good or bad job in raising them, etc.

Trust me, you don't want to end up making enemies at a website you plan to continue to visit. Especially over something that has escalated and could have been avoided by just not posting anymore. You're all nice people and I'm sure you all respect each others' opinions.

What was this topic started out to be about? Has it been helpful, fun or informative about anything MAC-related? Maybe it needs to end & disappear, or keep going & turn into a "last word contest"?

 

[Jude]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sigwing To go from talking about makeup to debating stay-at-home moms vs. working moms is a huge jump that should probably be avoided. I've been in some of the worst online feuds ever seen, and for no reason or really stupid ones, and besides the old rule of not discussing politics, religion or sex at dinner parties in order to get along, this is another issue here that can escalate further and really there is no winner. There are good AND bad moms in both categories that I'm sure we can all picture examples of. Please don't carry politics into makeup topics. I understand nobody here knows me, or maybe even cares what I say or acknowledges it, but I'm just making a suggestion to everyone to step back and not get into anything we feel personally, such as whose mother did a good or bad job in raising them, etc. Trust me, you don't want to end up making enemies at a website you plan to continue to visit. Especially over something that has escalated and could have been avoided by just not posting anymore. You're all nice people and I'm sure you all respect each others' opinions. What was this topic started out to be about? Has it been helpful, fun or informative about anything MAC-related? Maybe it needs to end & disappear, or keep going & turn into a "last word contest"?

I completely agree with you on this and lan on making this my last post here because eventually, it just becomes a circle of arguing and I don't want to be caught up in that.

That being said, I am sure Michelle is a lovely person and I wish her all the best but I also believe that there is a lot to be learned and experienced and once having done, she will see that the world isn't so black and white and that to judge anyone on their passions is is just counter productive and alienating.

Thank you for your own contribution to this thread because it is totally sensical.

 

[matthea]

I have a big mouth and want to say a few things.

I too was raised by a single mom who worked hard to keep a roof over my head, but now I am BLESSED with a great husband who makes a wonderful living. We own a business that does very well. We are in our early twenties and just bought our first home. Years ago when we were together he was on welfare because there were no jobs where we lived. We've worked hard to get where we are and are blown away that we have made it for far in a few short years.
That being said, I stay at home. We don't even have kids yet!
I wasn't able to finish college, and the jobs I get don't make a heck of a lot of money, so my husband and I decided that it would be best if my job was at home. I works for us and we are both extreamly happy. I love being a housewife, call me old fashioned, and can't wait to have kids (but thats in a few years since we want to travel).
Mat loves playing the provider and luckily the business is fun for him. He's a boardcast designer and gets to be creative, not breaking his back doing manual labour.
He does pay for nearly everything of mine, but we concider home my job. I make a little money here and there doing some modeling or stuff for TV...if he was paying me minimum wage for the hours I work at home I'm getting the same $$ as if I were out in the work force doing retail again.
Women fought for the right to choose - home or work, and I for one found home the best option.
Opinions are fine, but please try to make them educated. Don't call the 'mom' silly! I work hard and don't have kids! These mothers are working way more then you'll ever know, and to me it sounds a little like you might have been a slightly neglected child. Maybe that's where the rudeness is coming from.

 

[Professor Fate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemichelle I have asked my mom and my mother is a person who loves to work she can't just sit around. She hates even getting two days off a week. I thank her for the way I was raised. I basically raised myself, but I have a lot more respect for her then other people do for their parents. I am 22 so yes I do not have kids. I don't ever want them, but if it ever happens I would still be working. I don't look at anyone else and say oh she's a stay-at-home mom, that's what I wanna be. I take my mother as an example and would show my kids that women work also, not just daddy. Some people rather just stay at home, but I can't just be home all day. I don't think staying at home with your kids is a job, no matter how great it makes you feel. I've seen people who stayed with their kids while they were young then just stayed outta work even when the kids were bigger. I think kids should be taught work ethic along with other things. And you had the kids, so that is not a job. I consider a job, a workplace not your home and taking care of your kids. That's just something you have to do. You choose to open your legs so you knew what could happen. These are my opinions and there is no need to bash me for them.

wow, you have some serious denial going on inside that head of yours.

i guess i will start with your own childhood.so, you thank your mom for the way that you were raised,although you raised yourself?it just seems like you lost out on something in your childhood and are now trying to justify your mom's poor parenting.i feel sorry for you....having the mindset about parenting that you do. being a single working mom is a hard thing to do and most single working mom's are not able to parent the child the way the child should be parented.

now, as far as having an intact family where both parents work. i feel that it can be a bad thing. it seems as though with the economic situation in this country over the last 10 years that both parents are having to work to support the family.for a lot of the middle class and lower class families it seems that they do not get to make a decision like this. both parents have to work and that is that.on top of this, fewer and fewer companies around the U.S. are closing on holidays,thus making the parents of these families work more and more each year with taking less and less time off. this is where the breakdown of parenting and the family unit starts. i feel that the family values are going out the window in this country...it's a shame.obviously these bad family values have been passed along to you from your parents.

as far as your "real women" statement goes. a woman's FIRST PRIORITY is to take care of and parent her children.it is a great thing when the husband can support the family so that the mom can stay at home and be a full time mom.i wish that more kids would get to experience this. yes, there are problems with stay at home mom's as well......there is bad parenting in all shapes and sizes.a "real woman" does the right thing and puts her children first....ALWAYS.parenting is teamwork between the mother and the father.it definately isn't a contest of who makes the most money and who furthers their careers.there are also stay at home dad's mind you.obviously your mother failed to grasp this, therefore you raised yourself.

 

[Janice]

I really think this discussion could be a great way to open minds, and it's a topic that I personally have a lot of interest in. Lets keep the discussion open, feel free to challenge opinions, but theres no need to directly insult the poster (not that anyone has, just a 'on topic' reminder

).

 

[lovemichelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaci core all right, dude. i sat here and read this entire thread without thinking of throwing my two cents in, but that sentence right there pissed me off. not only was it rude and uncalled for, it's hypocritical. you can't say something like that, which is 'bashing' someone, and then in your next breath expect people not to bash you. absolutely not. i don't post a lot on here, but i read it a lot, and i love this forum. above and beyond, this is a MAKE UP FORUM. for the most part, it's supposed to be a delightful and happy place for MAC and other makeup brand fans to come and discuss things they have in common. i certainly do not come here to read bullshit like that. i know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and i'm a large advocate for practicing freedom of speech, but there is a place and a time for everything, and specktra is not a place to belittle someone for a personal or life choice they made.

If you thought what I said I was wrong I have no idea why. People have sex and have children and act like they didn't expect it to happen. You did it to yourself so I wouldn't consider it a job. This is all I have to say and I also won't be back at this forum. Just like you keep saying it's just make-up so whatever. Goodbye everyone.