"Coming Out" stories....

[MisStarrlight]

Random question (discussion?), but it's been on my mind quite a bit lately....

I was just wondering if any of you all have coming out stories that you would like to share (good or bad)...or if you had a family member who was coming out to you, how would you like them to approach the topic?

 

[frocher]

....

 

[tinagrzela]

my brother came out to me last year...it was really hard for him and me...my parents don't know...they are very old style parents who live in a very small town where they don't even have cable yet! very old way of thinking...if you want to talk more, let me know...

 

[Beauty Mark]

I had an emotional breakdown, because my first attraction to a female wasn't going so well (I liked the same girl my former best friend liked; my former best friend became insanely mean towards me because the girl wanted to spend a lot of time with me). My father was understanding, but he has always been very liberal.

My friends- it varied. Some of them were immediately accepting, some insisted I didn't know what I was talking about (those people I no longer talk to, for that and other reasons).

 

[flowerhead]

I came out quite a while after I started wearing makeup, so most people I told were hardly suprised! I went through a stage where I was 'bi' and I even had a girlfriend, but my heart really wasn't in it..
I didn't have a sit down with my mother and 'come out' as such lol, I really cant remember how she found out. But she's absoloutely fine with it, the only thing she worries about is other people's prejeduces, but I do as I please & I found out a short while ago that other people's opinions mean shit to me!
I'm lucky I suppose...In some situations it must take real balls.
My father I rarely see eachother and I dont even think he knows...or cares. Meh. And none of my friends gave a shit, I don't make friends with assholes!

 

[Gblue]

when i first told my friend, i did it in a very awkward way and thinking back i should have just outright said 'i'm gay' but i went around the houses and confused her! haha.
i came out to my mum when she asked me why i was going to gay bars, and my response was "because i'm gay, did you need to ask?" and she said no, she already knew. just told me not to bring 'boys' home. lol.
then when i told my dad (only last week, i dont see him very much) he got very teary eyed because i had the guts to tell him.
noone i've told cares/is surprised. i suppose its because of my mannerisms

 

[s0o_r0qish]

wow...where do i begin?
well my "comming out" wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. I was just soo tired of not being able to be who i really was, so i decided that when the opportunity came thatn i would address it with open arms. My mother came to me one day and says,"we need to talk, because im worried about you". Than a few days went on, and i grew more curious, and I finally I went to my mother and asked her what did she want to decuss. So she says, "are you gay Jerricka", and I say..."well what if i said I was"? she says,"well are you"? Well I told her yes, and all she could say to me was, "What you are doing isnt right in my eyes, but you are my daughter and i love you dearly and i accpet you for who you are". And to this day she had kept her word...and she abosolutly LOVES my girlfriend!

 

[Jenlai]

I broke up with my boyfriend when I was 21, when I realized I wanted to date women. He outed me to my Mom when she called the apartment for me. He was such a jerk!!! Anyway...I was shocked, but I admitted it to her, and she has been so supportive of me. She even said one time that she would march in a aprade for me if I wanted, she's so sweet!

 

[BinkysBaby]

My coming out was a two step process. I had my first "experience" that confirmed my homosexuality and I came out to all of my friends and siblings. It was super easy with them because I knew that they wouldn't be judgmental and would offer support.

I didn't think that my parents wouldn't be supportive I just wanted to really make sure before I told them. When I did, they took it well. It seemed like all they were worried about was the possibility of me having children which I don't want any of.

My partner's family is extremely supportive too so I didn't have any weirdo type experiences.

 

[BloodMittens]

My parents are both very very religious, so I haven't told them. And I don't think I ever will because after I met my boyfriend I realized he's the one I want to spend my life with. Girls are awesome, and there are a lot of girls I would like to date, but only if I wasn't with my boyfriend.

Anywayssss! So I came out to one of my friends that I thought I could trust wayyy back in my sophomore year in highschool. Needless to say, she did the worst thing. Instead of supporting me, or even just accepting it and leaving me alone, she HARASSED ME. And when she wasn't harassing me and spreading rumors, she was getting her guy friends to do it. They would push me and stuff in the halls when I walked by them, and kept asking me if I found my friend attractive and saying I wanted to date her. (Which, no offense to anyone, I'm very blunt, and she was VERY VERY VERY unattractive, not only in personality, but she was bu-fu ugly. And rampaging wilderbeast couldn't get me to date that evil bitch.)

Anyways, so after that highschool sucked, because everyone said "OMG! Look a lesbian!" because in my school... there was no gay-bi-straight-alliance club like the schools around us. Everyone was prejudice, and everyone was very very biased. I would get into fights constantly because of this, they wouldn't let me join the softball team even though I had been in it the year before because the girls said they didn't want me "watching" them while they showered. Not that I ever did... I'm very very modest about stuff like that. And then I met my boyfriend in senior year, and he was the ONLY guy during that time who made ME snap in attention. He had heard the rumors, so he really only became my friend at first until I said "I would luuuuv to do that." and then he kinda changed gears and went after me. It sounds weird, but since then my mind has only been on him, not other guys and not other girls either. No temptation.. seriously.

I tried to come out twice to my parents during this time, I even ended up bringing a girlfriend to the house once, to try and maybe get them used to the idea. But yeah... my sister figured it out and asked me straight out one day when we were shopping years later. I told her I was... but currently I really love my boyfriend, like I said before, girls are awesome, and I would love to go into dating them again... but only if I never had ended up with my boyfriend.

Well yeah... not much of a coming out story as a "I was a lesbian for two years" story. Don't think bad of me

 

[misskris]

Well I guess my story is a little different. I ended up running off and getting married right after high school. I always knew I was a lesbian but didn't act on it until later on. I ended up falling in love and left my husband for a woman. This was 2 years ago. I think it was twice as hard because not only was I leaving my husband but it was for a woman. I wanted to wait until after Christmas to tell my family and I couldn't take it any longer. I called my mom Christmas night and talked to her for probably 2 hours and when I finally told her, she was like whatever makes you happy. Luckily my family is very accepting.

 

[wolfsong]

IMO: I think all humans have at least the potential to be bi - we may lust after the physical aesthetics, but ultimately we love a persons energy/soul/personality/whatever you want to call it. I think gender is nothing more than a preference similar - but more serious - to having a thing for red hair or blondes. Openness, environmental/socal/religious factors and personal experiences IMO shape how we allow ourselves to find a 'mate'.

The lack of survival instinct in humans is the main factor for the redundancy of gender IMO. I have a theory based on that as to why you come across animals in captivity that shack up with members of the same sex, yet not so in the wild (ive studied animal sciences, excuse the tangent).

As far as coming out, i dont like that society deems it necessary to denounce personal choice when it comes to sexuality. Why is it okay for someone who feels attracted only to guys (or only to girls) to have to reveal it to everyone like its a shameful secret, yet 'straight' people dont have to anounce they are 'straight'. The amount of 40 somethings that marry and have kids because its the 'right thing to do' only to have to leave them because they just cant live in misery disgusts me.

Im open that i am more attracted to females than males - always have been (got badly bullied by sisters growing up for it, shit happens) and the males im attracted to always have female energy (adam ant has alot to answer for lol!). Im not going to wear a badge stating this, but im not going to keep it a secret. Im not saying people that do 'come out' are doing something wrong, or that they are not brave to do so - they are, and will reap the benefits for being themselves, but i wish that humans were more accepting so people didnt need to do such things.

 

[gabi1129]

i never have felt i needed to come out. it's my buisness so why must i make a big deal out of it. but when people ask i say, yeah im gay. it all started freshman year in high school. i knew for sure that i wasnt sexually attracted to women. and from that point on, i was just me. my friends were awesome and really supportive. i tired to tell my parents but at first they didnt believe me and just recently i re-came out ,lol, but it was a big argument with it ending by me saying "Your son is a fag, get over it" things havent been the same but they aren't too bad. my mom and dad say rude things about me and i tell them it hurts. they see that it does but they keep doing it. what angers me is that they, as well as a lot of other people, think im some sort of craxy sex obsessed man when really i am not. in fact im still a virgin b/c i want my first time to be special. i dont want it to be some horrible event when im drunk. people assume that b/c people are gay they cant have values and they are whores. and that isnt true.

 

[wolfsong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gabi1129 i never have felt i needed to come out. it's my buisness so why must i make a big deal out of it. but when people ask i say, yeah im gay. it all started freshman year in high school. i knew for sure that i wasnt sexually attracted to women. and from that point on, i was just me. my friends were awesome and really supportive. i tired to tell my parents but at first they didnt believe me and just recently i re-came out ,lol, but it was a big argument with it ending by me saying "Your son is a fag, get over it" things havent been the same but they aren't too bad. my mom and dad say rude things about me and i tell them it hurts. they see that it does but they keep doing it. what angers me is that they, as well as a lot of other people, think im some sort of craxy sex obsessed man when really i am not. in fact im still a virgin b/c i want my first time to be special. i dont want it to be some horrible event when im drunk. people assume that b/c people are gay they cant have values and they are whores. and that isnt true.

Very true. Im sorry about your parents being like that - there is only so much ignorance they can blame on generation (and IMO there is no excuse for it in this century), to not accept people for who they are/want to be. They may come around, maybe they wont - if they cant accept it then its their loss, you're still the same son you were before. Fortunately you have people in your life that love and support you - which is what makes family, not blood.

 

[flowerhead]

It's annoying that homophobes always think of sex when they think of gay people, not love. They are the perverts!

 

[wolfsong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by flowerhead It's annoying that homophobes always think of sex when they think of gay people, not love. They are the perverts!

I never know why this is? I know so many more slags that are hetro than bi/gay - it depends on the person not the sexuality.

 

[eighmii]

I got lucky. I never had to do it.. Me and my mom were watching Dr. Phil one day and it was about a mom who disowned her daughter when she brought her girlfriend home. And my mom was like.. "You know I'm not like that.. you know you can always tell me things.. I would never judge you or disown you. Especially just over the fact that you like girls" then there was a pause and I just looked at her..

What the hell man.. THIS WOMAN KNOWS EVERYTHING.

oh well. it works out for me.. i dont have to have awkward convos.

 

[MissMarley]

I'm a Christian, but the "I don't think homosexuality is wrong" kind. So I've had a lot of closeted friends come out to me, but only me. It's really difficult to see them living such a harsh, cold existence where they're always afraid. I hate homophobia and will fight it tooth and nail.

Hence, my dearest friend's coming out story. He is a preacher's son. Admitted to having "urges", and they sent him to one of those brain-washing camps to make him straight. The stupid sons of bitches abused him. He became an alcoholic and drug addict after escaping that place. I think that his parents would be a lot more concerned about THAT than who he loves, but they don't. Stupid fuckers.

Anyway, just wanted to share that one. I will love him till the day I die, and I nearly got suspended for attacking a guy in high school because he called me friend a faggot, and if i have to attack someone again, i will happily face assault charges.

 

[wolfsong]

Religious people that dont discriminate remind me that faith can have positive factors.
I didnt know that camps like that existed! I hope that guy is on the road to recovery. IMO its evil for someone to hide behind religion to suppress and harm others - faith should be a personal thing. How many cases have their been of religious people that are homophobic yet abuse boys? Or rape and murder? Power can corrupt anyone.

 

[MACaholic76]

Quote:

Originally Posted by flowerhead It's annoying that homophobes always think of sex when they think of gay people, not love. They are the perverts!

This is sooo true!!! The funny thing is that for women who are bi or lesbians it's more like...."oh word, when can we get our freak on" or the whole "three-some" light bulb goes off (particulary when dealing with hetero males). But for men, I think the stereotypes are far more hurtful. You can just read people's reactions and faces when it comes to gay men. I am actually thinking back when the movie Brokeback Mountain came out. I mean, literally, no heterosexual male would even talk about this, not ever. The point of the movie was completely missed. Uggh...lemme stop.