Could I have possibly made the worst decision of my life?

[MisStarrlight]

Hey y'all...I'm having some adjustment issues & needed a place to vent....

I am originally from a very small town in upstate NY & as soon as I graduated high school I packed up & moved to NYC. I've been there for nearly 6 years, but a few months ago all of that changed....

In September I left my boyfriend of 5 years & moved to LI with a room mate.
My room mate then decided that she didn't like her school and wanted to move back home (the same area I'm from)...so I was left with a decision-move back home, or move back in w/ my ex.

I had a killer job with MAC...full time & just finishing up my product specialist contract & 2 3rd key positions were about to open up (I was pretty much guaranteed one of them), but even with the money I would be making as a 3rd Key, I have so much debt and very high bills and a brand new puppy to take care of. I could never find an apartment on LI or in NYC that I would be able to afford...

So I moved home. The puppy and I now am living back with my parents and it's killing me. I have no job (I dropped down to On-Call/Freelance for MAC, but there is only 1 counter in the area & they don't get hours that often so it's not reliable money). I am going to go back to grad school so I can actually do something with my degree (art education), but in the meantime I still have to pay down that debt & pay my regular bills.

So yeah, I left a career at MAC (granted, MAC was not going to be the place I retire from, but it was still a dream job & a steady paycheck) & pretty much feel like I have nothing here for me. Any friends that I did have in high school I have long lost touch with. I've got 3 weeks until school starts, but only 1 week until all of my bills are due.

I just feel so lost right now. I was burnt out from the city & needed a break, but now that reality is setting in, the country life is killing me. I wish I could take it all back & do whatever I have to do to stay in the city. I just want my old city life back.

 

[Beauty Mark]

*hugs. Try to make the best of it, if you can.

I'd ask for help form your parents and also consult with someone who has financial savvy. Finances are scary but totally something you can deal with.

Be positive that you will make friends in school. I don't know where in LI you live, but you can try to still get yourself back in cosmetics in some capacity.

 

[redambition]

i know how you feel.

in march of last year, my SO decided that he wanted to live separately from me. the stupid way he decided to let me know this and his being slapped upside the head by one of our friends is another story. I was faced with a very tough decision about where to live: try to do it alone, get a flatmate or move in with the parents.

in the end i moved back to the parental home. the biggest thing that's keeping me here at the moment is the knowledge that i have fewer financial commitments and so i can save money. it's the isolation that's the hardest to deal with.

it gets easier, and sometimes the change in pace is really welcome. at other times it feels like hell.

definitely speak to someone who can help with the finances, and if you aren't going to be able to meet your payment commitments, speak to your creditor and sort out a payment plan before the bill falls due. once you get your finances sorted (and possibly find a different job) it will lift a lot of the stress you're feeling.

it will get better!

 

[MadchenRogue]

Things happen for a reason, even though at the time it feels like we are being punished somehow. I know you had the best job ever with MAC, but lets be honest...you are in debt. And nowadays debt kills us the chances of buying a car, getting a credit card or even getting an apartment or a home. Honestly, maybe this is life telling you "I love ya, but you need to get these things sorted before you can fulfill your dreams". I would rather see you working at some job paying off your debts, than look marvelous at a MAC counter with pilling debts and collection offices calling the hell out of you demanding your outstanding payments. You will get a better life, you'll see but for you to have an even better life there must be some sacrifice. This sacrifice may not only save you in the end, but will help you be a very savvy, experienced, responsible individual. So when you DO get out of debt and it maybe perhaps the crappiest job in the world that helped you get some money so you can reclaim your life back...YOU will come out stronger, determined and even more ambitious than ever. And that my friend, no amount of MAC eyeshadow or lipglass can ever buy you that.

Buena Suerte !

 

[Krasevayadancer]

That does sound tough. I can definitely relate to that feeling of being out of place. I went from living on campus in college 4 yrs to moving back home and it is definitely a shock to the system.

You did not make a bad decision, you simply did what you had to in order to survive. Sounds to me like a case of the grass is always greener on the other side. Even though you might feel out of place back at home, you are being responsible and that has to be of some consolation. You are also furthering your education and that is huge! If you chose to stay in NY, it would be a constant struggle.

Best you can do in regards to the friends situation is to try to reconnect with old friends. At least you would be making the effort.

In regards to the debt, have you tried finding a part time job? Any little bit at this point would help I am sure,

Good luck in all that you do!

All in all, NO you didnt make a mistake.

 

[ginger9]

I agree.

I don't think you made the wrong decision at all. In fact I really admire the fact that you didn't move in with your ex just to stay in NYC.

I think with any decision it's always difficult to adjust in the beginning, so hang in there. I think it's great that you are taking grad school too. There are some exciting things happening for you. As for friends, don't worry you'll make new ones once school starts. As for the finances, would it be possible to ask your parent for a loan? How about a student loan? I think Beauty Marks suggestion on speaking to someone with some financial savvy is a good idea.

Hang in there, you'll be fine

 

[MsButterfli]

oh my goodness i wonder where u went awww how come all the great girls at Green Acres always leave me

lol anyway girl, we all go thru ruts before we get to the rainbows. God doesnt give us any more than we can handle. things somehow seem to sort things out. u didnt make a bad mistake at all, now goin back to the ex....that coulda been a bad mistake. I wish u all the best tho, and hope to see u back in either LI/NYC soon