Craigslist...huh?

IslandGirl77

Well-known member
Ok, so after seeing someone's haul on here from craigslist I went to check it out. So I click on best of, and this is what I found....WTF. Somebody is very angry....


To the women who work in my office... I hate you


Date: 2006-11-10, 4:56PM EST


Girl with the bright blonde weave who works in reception- I don’t know how you got your job, you are so uneducated it makes me sick. Did you graduate grammar school? I think I would respect you more if the answer to that is no. I want to throw a rock at your face every time I walk by when you are answering the phone and you say something like “who you callin’ for?” or “he in a meetin’ right now” or my personal favorite, “who this is?” I bet the people on the other end of the phone want to throw a rock at your face too. I also can’t stand when I get message notes from you that are written like so: Mr. Smith called hes wanting to kno wen he shuld ecspect the letter of aprovle. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It amazes me that the only two things in your job description are answering phones and taking phone messages and you can’t do either of those things!

Tall girl in design with the short brown hair- You have horrendous body odor! I’m not talking a little stench here and there I am talking everyday when you walk into the building people drop dead. I don’t know how you don’t notice it. I’m going to buy you deodorant for Christmas.

Fat woman who works in suite 19- I don’t know exactly what you do for this company, but I know far too much about your personal life. When you talk to your boyfriend on company time, please refrain from telling him it felt so good when he slipped his hard dick into your fat ass! Yea I heard that, and so does everyone else that walks by your suite when you are on the phone. It’s disgusting, and we don’t want to hear about it, so keep your voice down.

Blonde woman who works for accounting- I know that you are 30, not 25 and I also know that at the Christmas party last year you had sex with the bosses son in the broom closet and that he got you pregnant. Please don’t insult me in front of our coworkers again or I will tell everyone.

Hot girl that works in sales- When you wear that brown skirt with the white flower on the bottom and you sit down, we can all see that you don’t wear panties.

Boss’ old receptionist- My name is not, John, Jason, Jack, Jim or Jared… it’s Evan.

Middle age woman who works in reception- Your job is not that hard. You answer phones, put people on hold, and take messages. I don’t care that you were up late cleaning the house or that you sat up all night waiting for you delinquent son to get home, that does not give you a reason to get rude with a customer or walk around bitching about how your job is so stressful. Half of us come in still drunk from the night before, but we never yell at clients, bitch about our family members or say our jobs are soooo hard.

Pregnant bitch- There is only one of you, so no need for further description but let it be known that you are not the first person to ever get knocked up! You are not the first person to get heart burn, you are not the first person to get morning sickness. You are not the first person to pee their pants because the baby put too much pressure on your bladder and you certainly are not the first person who has had strange cravings for cheese and anchovies. Stop complaining about it!

Little intern girl- You are so cute with your stringy brown hair, acne and braces but your coffee skills are lacking. All I ever want is a large black coffee but you seem to thing that I would rather a low-fat latte, or a caramel machiato, or even a Chai Tea. Nope I don't want those, I just want a damn black coffee! Also, you obviously don't know your alphabet because my filing cabinet is a mess. F does not come after R, sweetie. Do you want to flunk the class you are doing this internship for? No? You better shape your ass up and get me the right coffee then!

Pretty girl who is head of the writing department- You are the only girl who works in this office that I can stand. You greet me every morning with a bright smile and a cheery hello. And you are so damn smart. No wonder you are 22 and head of the department that could pretty much make or break our company. One time I asked you the Circumference of the earth and you kew it! Usually I would think that is weird and dork but from you, I find it really hot. I also like that you are the only girl in the company that hasn't slept with someone that works with us. But for the record, if you slept with me, I wouldn't respect you any less.

Hispanic girl who works in design- You wear way too much makeup, I hate that you draw your eyebrows on, and I'm pretty sure you have an adams apple and are a man.

35 year old secretary- You have a 20 year old son, and a 15 year old son... yet you dress like you are 16. I would be embarrassed to be your children. Oh and you look really stupid when you wear that plaid school-girl skirt with the white tights and hooker boots. This is an office... not a brothel.
 

DaizyDeath

Well-known member
lmfao
that gave me a really good laugh

hes just saying what we would probably all be thinking if we worked there
 

IslandGirl77

Well-known member
I know, I thought it was funny because I wasn't looking for that. When I clicked on the Best of it was the first thing I saw. But, I noticed there are several people who have put things like that up there also. Some of them are pretty funny.
 

DaizyDeath

Well-known member
I Found another funny rant on the best of craigs list so i thought i post it here:

I'm your Assistant, Not an Ass

Date: 2006-10-13, 12:38PM EDT


Ok guys, I realize that I am your assistant, but if this relationship is going to work, I will need your full cooperation.

1. I love all of you, I admire your dedication to your work and I understand that you all have PhDs and deserve respect, however, I deserve respect too. Having the copy machine jam while I’m making you 400 copies does not make me stupid. It does however create a nuisance for me to have to disassemble the machine to find that a crumpled copy of a crossword puzzle that you were doing earlier has been lodged in the rollers.

2. I am not a pitiful beauty school dropout. I too have a degree and spent 3 years previous to meeting you lovely folks as a journalist. I am very educated, well read, articulate, and resourceful. I assure you that the baby talk is not necessary when asking me mail a letter for you.

3. I am here to help you, I even enjoy helping you, but I will not put a roll of tape on the dispenser for you. Don’t tell me that you don’t know how, I know you do. I mean seriously, you have a Nobel Prize—work it out.

4. Yes my background is in journalism and my grasp on the English language is perhaps a little better than most, but I do not know every word in the dictionary. So please, do not taunt me when I can’t immediately come up with a synonym for “dowsing”. I’m sure eight years of post-secondary education have exposed you to a thesaurus.

5. I apologize that I forgot to send your fax, but keep in mind that I have five of you asking me to put tape on the dispenser, not to mention real responsibilities like calling the help desk to fix your computer after you downloaded copious amounts of pictures of large-breasted women. I understand you have needs, after all, I’m a man too, but please download porn on your home computer. By the way, I will no longer sit on any of the chairs in your office.

6. When I am away from my desk, I assure you that I will not be gone for long. There is no problem that I can think of that is so urgent that it must be addressed while I am in midstream at the urinal. The two of us should never have a conversation where a penis is exposed.

7. Being your assistant does not make me a woman, it makes me an assistant. I can not give you fashion advice and will not help you pick out a tie, although I would seriously rethink wearing a brown belt with black shoes. This brings me to my next point.

8. Yes I am gay, but I am not an assistant because I am gay. I am an assistant because I needed a job and you pay me reasonably well. I do appreciate the fact that you care enough to ask about my boyfriend, but it is not funny to ask me how the wife is. Okay, you got me there it is funny, but it is still unprofessional and offensive.

9. What makes you think that it is okay for you to ask me for a loan? You make six times what I do and I do not care if you really need a latte. I really need a blowjob, but there are appropriate people to ask for certain items. Don’t ask me for $2.50 and I won’t ask you do get on your knees.

10. For Christ’s sake, learn my name. Calling me any name that starts with the same letter as my own is not “good enough”. I realize that I may remind you of another person in the office, but believe it or not, we are two entirely different people. Look, as far as I am concerned, the five of you are all just balding, fat, middle-aged men, but amazingly enough, I manage to tell you apart—if by nothing else, the pattern of your pit stains.
 

Juneplum

Well-known member
lmao.gif
lmao.gif
awesome!!!
 

MAC_Whore

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by IslandGirl77
Ok, so after seeing someone's haul on here from craigslist I went to check it out. So I click on best of, and this is what I found....WTF. Somebody is very angry....


To the women who work in my office... I hate you


Date: 2006-11-10, 4:56PM EST


Girl with the bright blonde weave who works in reception- I don’t know how you got your job, you are so uneducated it makes me sick. Did you graduate grammar school? I think I would respect you more if the answer to that is no. I want to throw a rock at your face every time I walk by when you are answering the phone and you say something like “who you callin’ for?” or “he in a meetin’ right now” or my personal favorite, “who this is?” I bet the people on the other end of the phone want to throw a rock at your face too. I also can’t stand when I get message notes from you that are written like so: Mr. Smith called hes wanting to kno wen he shuld ecspect the letter of aprovle. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It amazes me that the only two things in your job description are answering phones and taking phone messages and you can’t do either of those things!

Tall girl in design with the short brown hair- You have horrendous body odor! I’m not talking a little stench here and there I am talking everyday when you walk into the building people drop dead. I don’t know how you don’t notice it. I’m going to buy you deodorant for Christmas.

Fat woman who works in suite 19- I don’t know exactly what you do for this company, but I know far too much about your personal life. When you talk to your boyfriend on company time, please refrain from telling him it felt so good when he slipped his hard dick into your fat ass! Yea I heard that, and so does everyone else that walks by your suite when you are on the phone. It’s disgusting, and we don’t want to hear about it, so keep your voice down.

Blonde woman who works for accounting- I know that you are 30, not 25 and I also know that at the Christmas party last year you had sex with the bosses son in the broom closet and that he got you pregnant. Please don’t insult me in front of our coworkers again or I will tell everyone.

Hot girl that works in sales- When you wear that brown skirt with the white flower on the bottom and you sit down, we can all see that you don’t wear panties.

Boss’ old receptionist- My name is not, John, Jason, Jack, Jim or Jared… it’s Evan.

Middle age woman who works in reception- Your job is not that hard. You answer phones, put people on hold, and take messages. I don’t care that you were up late cleaning the house or that you sat up all night waiting for you delinquent son to get home, that does not give you a reason to get rude with a customer or walk around bitching about how your job is so stressful. Half of us come in still drunk from the night before, but we never yell at clients, bitch about our family members or say our jobs are soooo hard.

Pregnant bitch- There is only one of you, so no need for further description but let it be known that you are not the first person to ever get knocked up! You are not the first person to get heart burn, you are not the first person to get morning sickness. You are not the first person to pee their pants because the baby put too much pressure on your bladder and you certainly are not the first person who has had strange cravings for cheese and anchovies. Stop complaining about it!

Little intern girl- You are so cute with your stringy brown hair, acne and braces but your coffee skills are lacking. All I ever want is a large black coffee but you seem to thing that I would rather a low-fat latte, or a caramel machiato, or even a Chai Tea. Nope I don't want those, I just want a damn black coffee! Also, you obviously don't know your alphabet because my filing cabinet is a mess. F does not come after R, sweetie. Do you want to flunk the class you are doing this internship for? No? You better shape your ass up and get me the right coffee then!

Pretty girl who is head of the writing department- You are the only girl who works in this office that I can stand. You greet me every morning with a bright smile and a cheery hello. And you are so damn smart. No wonder you are 22 and head of the department that could pretty much make or break our company. One time I asked you the Circumference of the earth and you kew it! Usually I would think that is weird and dork but from you, I find it really hot. I also like that you are the only girl in the company that hasn't slept with someone that works with us. But for the record, if you slept with me, I wouldn't respect you any less.

Hispanic girl who works in design- You wear way too much makeup, I hate that you draw your eyebrows on, and I'm pretty sure you have an adams apple and are a man.

35 year old secretary- You have a 20 year old son, and a 15 year old son... yet you dress like you are 16. I would be embarrassed to be your children. Oh and you look really stupid when you wear that plaid school-girl skirt with the white tights and hooker boots. This is an office... not a brothel.


Yikes, angry is right. This letter is seriously funny, because it is so non-PC, but on the other hand....Warning! Rant ahead in 3....2....1....

Sounds like a misogynistic prick! Why only the women in his office? Do the men never offend him?

The only one he says anything nice about (he calls her damn smart) is the one he refers to as "pretty girl". Then he says she is the only one who hasn't slept with someone in the office/client pool and he wouldn't respect her any less if she slept with him. Huh? Is that supposed to be a compliment. Fuck off, dude!

I have known/worked with a few guys like this. When you have to spend every day with them at the office, it is not so funny. I can picture them sitting there typing up letters like that dudes.

And rant over in 3.....2....1. Rant complete.
smiles.gif
 
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