Cuttin' it off 'til the wedding!

[stellarx1587]

I've decided to enforce the "no sex" rule until me and my fiance's wedding night (April 26th, 08). We've been engaged since March of this year... and I haven't put out since. Prior to that, we used to have sex all the time. I know I'm not a virgin anymore, so obviously waiting for marriage is out of the question... but I feel that its never too late to start over and try and make it a special thing. It was tough for him at first, but luckily for me he's very patient and understanding! But I do feel bad taking that intimacy away from him.

So here's the thing... our friends know about this little rule and some have accused me of being very cruel (of course the boys are giving me a hard time - but who cares what they think

), but I've had some women tell me that its kind of dumb and pointless since I'm not even a virgin. What do you think??? Am I waiting too long? Was this really a dumb and pointless idea? And lastly... have any of you done the "no sex" rule til the wedding??

 

[knoxydoll]

Sex can still be very special and intimate even if you have it everyday. It's the little things that makes it special not not having it for a long time. It's not something I would do, but if you're both fine with it then who cares what people say. They're not the ones you're having sex with.

 

[nunu]

it is a long time but as long as you and your fiance are okay with it then other people don't matter. your making your day extra special for both of you. Other people don't matter, it's not affecting them.
i say go for it if you and your SO are fine by it

 

[MACATTAK]

I agree with everyone else. It's a long time to hold out, but it's your decision and business.

 

[aeni]

Its your decision and marriage. Do whatever!

 

[NutMeg]

I would never do it, but it's your marriage, wedding, and relationship. You shouldn't ever feel like you have to justify that to others.

 

[CaraAmericana]

I think it is refreshing that you and your fiancee would try it. It brings back a little mystery to the relationship. Because frankly if you do it everyday up until your wedding day, the wedding night can't be anymore special just because you are MR and MRS (but remember I never been married, so I may not know much) but the wedding night I would think it be just 'oh you again and the same moves'. But you are waiting so it will be "OOOOH you sexy man and those sexy moves, get over here to mama raaawr"

 

[SparklingWaves]

This is a very personal decision that is between just you and your partner. I wouldn't even have allowed anyone else to know about it. It's none of their business. I wouldn't listen to what others have to say. It's your personal choice to make your wedding night special.

 

[CaraAmericana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves I wouldn't even have allowed anyone else to know about it.

I agree

 

[chocodcocoa]

to me it has nothing to do with virginity...
my friend (who is getting married this july) believes that it can give you more anticipation and make the night more special...
i don't really see the point of it, 'cus the fact that i'll be getting married is special enough... and my guy would never agree to it... more than 1 year of no sex O.O
but it's going to be your day so just do whatever you feel more comfortable with =D

 

[kimmy]

i'm not a virgin, but i think when i find the right guy (meaning the one i want to spend the rest of my life with) i think i'll abstain until we're married. i've learned alot from loosing my virginity and from the relationships i've had, and that's why i've made that decision. when i find the right guy, i want to be sure he loves me for me, not for what we do in bed. to alot of people, that doesn't make sense since i'm nowhere close to a virgin. but, like you, it's MY decision, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it, because honestly it's not their business. so don't worry about what others say. as long as it's right for you two, there's nothing wrong with it! and it definately isn't cruel. any man that says a relationship without sex is cruel, isn't really a man at all in my opinion.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

i don't think its dumb at all. who cares if ur not a virgin? once you guys have sex again it's probably going to be mindblowing since its been so long (and it'll probably be very short, too) lol. who cares what your friends say, I wouldn't have told them. People always have something negative to say.

I plan on doing this myelf when I get engaged. maybe not for a whole year, but who knows? Good luck

 

[puppy_love_1041]

I agree that it's your own business and as long as you both are into it, nobody else has any right to say otherwise.
Personally, I wouldn't do it - the wedding day is gonna be stressful enough, I see no reason in adding any kind of stress to it. The way I see it, waiting for a year can only cause stress - I can't imagine not feeling him for a full year, waiting for it a whole year. I don't think it adds magic - I think you would be too caught up in the whole "We haven't touched for a year", that you wouldn't enjoy it.
Just my opinion, though

 

[labellavita7]

You have a lot of will power! I could never hold out that long. That's a looong time, if I chose to do that I would cut him off like a month before the wedding haha, that I could deal with. However this is your choice! What you feel is the right thing to do to make your wedding night that much more special is up to you and only you!

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

I respect your decision, and I don't mean to sound offensive when I say this, but I've heard of women doing this, friends of mine have tried to "revirginize" by not having sex until (insert certain monumental event here) occurs. I personally think it's a tad bit silly. You can have sex 3 times a day, everyday and it can still be special as long as YOU still value it that way. Getting married doesn't necessarily validate the way you feel about your fiance intimately.
Withholding sex until your wedding night doesn't make sex with your fiance any more or less special. It could honestly backfire on you, and I'm not saying this to be funny, but if you guys go a long time without having sex, it's possible that on your wedding night it could be unpleasant or not as fulfilling, as he may get so excited to finally get to be with you again...well I think you know where I'm going with this.

Ultimately it's your decision, but just know that as long as you guys still value sex with one another as being special, no matter how often you do or don't have it, it won't matter if you have it or not before your wedding.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Pixie04 I respect your decision, and I don't mean to sound offensive when I say this, but I've heard of women doing this, friends of mine have tried to "revirginize" by not having sex until (insert certain monumental event here) occurs. I personally think it's a tad bit silly. You can have sex 3 times a day, everyday and it can still be special as long as YOU still value it that way. Getting married doesn't necessarily validate the way you feel about your fiance intimately. Withholding sex until your wedding night doesn't make sex with your fiance any more or less special. It could honestly backfire on you, and I'm not saying this to be funny, but if you guys go a long time without having sex, it's possible that on your wedding night it could be unpleasant or not as fulfilling, as he may get so excited to finally get to be with you again...well I think you know where I'm going with this. Ultimately it's your decision, but just know that as long as you guys still value sex with one another as being special, no matter how often you do or don't have it, it won't matter if you have it or not before your wedding.

I somewhat agree with what you're saying. I would never do something like this as a way to 'revirginize" myself. Personally, if I have sex every single day, and its good, and I love my boyfriend but its like...the same thing. Everyday. Of course its special, because its with a man that I love. but that doesn't mean that it won't get a little boring. And you can "spice it up" with toys, or games, or lingerie, etc. But I've already done half of those things and I'm 18 lol. Me and my boyfriend use some of those "spice it up" things in our regular sex life.

So waiting a while before the wedding day would just be a way to...anticipate the sex? If I was having sex everyday and then on our wedding night I'd just feel like "okay...we're having sex. like we did last night" Waiting a few months or a year is like..."wow..its been so long, i can't wait to have sex with you again, this is gonna be great, I've been horny like you wouldn't believe"

Of course it could backfire and he could last a short time. But I'm facing that problem right now already lol. And I know that your comment wasn't even directed towards me, I just wanted to put my two cents in.

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

^^I don't mean you shouldn't hold it off at some point so that it has a bit more excitement attached to it, but a whole year? I think the sexual tension and frustration would kill us and we probably wouldn't make to our wedding lmao

then again that kind of thing is important to both me and him..probably me more.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Pixie04 ^^I don't mean you shouldn't hold it off at some point so that it has a bit more excitement attached to it, but a whole year? I think the sexual tension and frustration would kill us and we probably wouldn't make to our wedding lmao then again that kind of thing is important to both me and him..probably me more.

i know what u mean. I was thinking of doing this awhile back, but then I'm like...a year? Nah...maybe 6 months though lol.

 

[laguayaca]

Good for you girl, yes it must be hard see im a V and i am waiting until 8.8.8 my wedding date, but It will be so special and memorable because it will be your first time in a long time and in your marriage. Its like waiting for santas presents and you cant wait to unwrap them, he cant wait to unwrap you! trust me I think it will be well worth it! Both for you and him! Congrats!

 

[Bonbonroz]

We did that, on my husband's suggestion, we didn't even slept together for the week before the wedding (even though we're living together, he went to his parent's and I went to mine), and I found it very long! I perfectly understand and if you and your fiance agree on this, you shouldn't even listen to what other people say!