dealing with my family..."Yours, Mine & Ours"

M.A.C. head.

Well-known member
I would go straight to the courts. Why should he get to do all of those things and NOT take care of her financially? It's good that he wants to be a part of her life, but he doesn't get to pick and choose which responsibilities he will honor. And if he thinks it would be okay for her to live with him IN A WHOLE OTHER STATE when he hasn't made a good and secure effort to be in her life AND he has issues with drugs and alcohol...he has definitely suffered some brain damage.

I bet I know how you can scare him shitless. Tell him there's no way that [her living with him] is happening unless you go to court to have things settled. If you do end up going to court, all of his dirty laundry will be aired and he will loose AND have to pay the back child support.


Well-known member
I have lived this story personally thru my older sister .... that being said if i knew that he was no good i would not even fathom letting my daughter go to live with this guy. he's obviously very selfish and she needs a 24/7 365 days a year father not one that pops in and out whenever he wants. Thats totally unfair to the child and shes most likely not even close to him. so i would lay it all out to him... he either acts like a father or leaves hers alone.


Well-known member
Stop messing around with emotions and doing it the hard way: Go to the court, have them make him take responsibility for himself and his decisions. My boyfriends dad is like this too: always wanted to be part of his life but always had an excuse to try to not pay support.

Go to the courts, get it in writing, get him to start fulfilling his responsibilities financially, and then talk about visitation.


Well-known member
You can't tell him to stay out of her life.
You have to go through the court system.
Get it filed and finished.


Well-known member
You can petition the courts where ever your residency is established.
Even if he's never paid a dime, nonpayment of child support is NOT grounds for denial of visitation and denial of visitation will land you in a world of shit.

Legally, if he shows up at your house on what is his entitled time to have possession of the child, you are bound to relinquish the child.

Go to court and get this hammered out. You don't want to try to do this without a court order.

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