Disappointed with my stepdaughter...

giz2000

Well-known member
Why? well, we found out she's pregnant. You know how we found out? She posted one of those countdown calendar thingys on her Myspace...she didn't even have the decency to call her father and tell him he's going to be a grandfather.

My husband is beyond devastated. I posted about her and her nightmare mother-in-law a few months back. The MIL is a control freak that thinks that she can buy anything and everything with her dead husband's money. We told SD not to come back here, to stay away from this woman if she wanted her marriage to survive (she's 18 and he's 20). He's a major momma's boy. According to my other SD, as of last week, they were having fights because he drops everything when Mommy calls. Now this.

This is a girl who buys puppies "because they're cute," then gives them away when they're grown, because they're not "cute" anymore.

She has no education (barely finished HS), no job and was supposed to start college in the fall (I guess not - she's due in November). I think what hurts my husband (and me) the most is that she hasn't told us anything. She came back from NY in December and never called, never came by (not even for Christmas), nothing. It's like we don't exist. I've known her since she was 3. My younger son is her half-brother (and my older son grew up with her). She has pretty much written DH's side of the family off, because her MIL "gives" her things and lets her live in her house rent-free. Of course, she doesn't realize that there is no such thing as "no-strings-attached," but that's a lesson she needs to learn herself.

Anyway, enough venting for today. I'm off to bed....
 

SARAHluvsMAC

Well-known member
I'm sorry...
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MiCHiE

Well-known member
I'm so sorry, especially for your husband. Sounds like she'd better get it together quickly, 'cause babies are not dogs. I don't understand kids thinking that getting your way equals love.
 

sheaspearl83

Well-known member
I would almost guarantee it that the mother-in-law does not want you or the father near "her grandchild". I have a friend who is experiencing the same relationship with her ex-mother-in-law but was strong enough to remarry. Only her new husband knows his boundaries because this lady has set them very clearly. "I have enough money to make your life hell."
Only my friend is sometimes so sad because she can't stand up to this woman and she's afraid that she will lose her other child to her because of grandparent's rights. I didn't even know these exist...guess it doesn't matter in my working for a living world.
 

giz2000

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheaspearl83
I would almost guarantee it that the mother-in-law does not want you or the father near "her grandchild". I have a friend who is experiencing the same relationship with her ex-mother-in-law but was strong enough to remarry. Only her new husband knows his boundaries because this lady has set them very clearly. "I have enough money to make your life hell."
Only my friend is sometimes so sad because she can't stand up to this woman and she's afraid that she will lose her other child to her because of grandparent's rights. I didn't even know these exist...guess it doesn't matter in my working for a living world.



You are very correct in your assumption. She's dangled money in front of SD and her own son as a way to get what she wants. She paid for their wedding (against my husband's wishes), she invited HER guests (DH's side of the family was left out), she "gave" them her house rent-free (because she snuck off and got married over Christmas to some guy she knew for 2 weeks - her 5th marriage), and she gives DH's ex wife (SD's mother) money because she can never make ends meet. In essence, this woman is buying everyone around her. Since she couldn't "buy" us, she has nothing to do with us...and encourages SD to do the same...and since my SD doesn't stand up for anything, she falls for everything (as the cliched saying goes). As long as people like her (SD), she'll do anything and everything to keep it that way.
 

xbeatofangelx

Well-known member
Just.. pray for her and be there if she needs you =/, but clearly there is no point in trying to convince her she's doing anything wrong. Good luck!
 

jenii

Well-known member
Oh, wow. I am so sorry this is happening. That girl needs to realize that her family is more important, and that you may not give her STUFF, but you'd be there when she needs you, and you love her unconditionally. This woman doesn't love her. This woman wants to control her, and the instant she can her son to divorce your stepdaughter, the poor girl will be out on her ass.

I mostly feel sorry for your soon-to-be grandchild, because he/she will grow up in the middle of all that.
 

tadzio79

Well-known member
yikes, I'm really sorry. Sounds like her mother in law thinks (and apparently can) control everything she wants with her money.
your SD is really young - she got married too young, IMO, if she can't even take care of her pets then I'm not sure how she would take care of the newborn. Oh wait - probably her mother in law would hire a nanny for her, then she can control who gets to see the baby.

I hope your SD realizes how much pain she's giving to you and your DH and turn things around....
 

calbear

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by xbeatofangelx
Just.. pray for her and be there if she needs you =/, but clearly there is no point in trying to convince her she's doing anything wrong. Good luck!

Exactly! No use you and your hubby tearing your hair out when you can't change her attitude and her ways. See above and try to do the best you can at being there when she needs you cause she will.
 

saniyairshad

Well-known member
I'm so sorry hon..really I am because when families have disputes like that it really makes u question ur upbringing since u said that u knew her since she was 3...i know families can really stab u in ur back...i've been there. i'm here for u hon...if u need to talk
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