Do Looks Matter?

[kabuki_KILLER]

Everyone has a different opinion when it comes to what's hot and what's not. Our taste in men vary as much as our taste in food and alcoholic beverages, but you'd never drink or eat anything that doesn't appeal to you, especially if you have to pay for it, right?

When do looks matter and not matter to you?
How so?
How do you deal with people that you'd never date coming on to you...and refusing to back down?
Why do you (or do you not) feel looks matter?

Discuss.

P.S. This is not a criticism for those that care about looks. I have my answer and I just wanted to get to know you all better and ow it all works for you.

 

[Cydonian]

I guess I'm taking the plunge, and being the first one to answer.

I will admit that looks do slightly matter to me. I've dated nice guys that weren't particularly attractive, but there was a certain lack of sensuality between us... I have to admit.

BUT, on the flip side, I've had rather attractive guys standing in front of me, blatantly hitting on me and I've not been interested. Whether they just seemed like buttheads or I was in a relationship, I don't find it hard to resist, no matter what they look like. To me, sometimes the really attractive ones come off as even more cocky and full of themselves.

That's just me... heh.

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

Looks do matter. I like tall men. Its not the most important thing but it matters.

 

[Simply Elegant]

Looks do matter, except when it comes to friends. Sex is part of any romantic relationship for me and I wouldn't do that with anyone I wasnt attracted to. It wouldn't be fair to either of us to stay with someone I wasn't attracted to.

About the persistent ones, just turn them down nicely and stop giving them anymore attention.

 

[JULIA]

Well I don't really see a reason to pursue someone you don't find physically attractive. The physical aspect of a relationship is super important and if you're not attracted to your guy in that sense, wouldn't that aspect of the partnership suffer? I know mine sure did.

I once dated someone who's personality was okay but they were incredibly unattractive and it got to the point where I couldn't even touch them. I was so disgusted that it affected the relationship completely. Maybe it's my fault the relationship fizzled because I was being "shallow" or whatever, but I don't see why I should have to stay in a relationship when I couldn't even kiss the guy.

 

[LMD84]

looks matter to me at the start of the realtionship. if there is no attraction there to begin with things will go stale very quickly indeed. i think over time looks become less important when you get to know the person inside out. but even then i feel you still need to find your partner sexually attractive because otherwise you perhaps won't have a very good sex life - which is very important when being in a long term relationship.

 

[Funtabulous]

Yes they do matter. I can't believe it's even taboo to say so, but it is. Of course the overriding principal is that attraction matters, of which looks do play an important role, but are not the whole story, or course.

Of course it is true that someone less good looking can be more attractive than a good looking person if you go by quality of personality. But the two are not mutually exclusive, and I'd rather have a good mix of both.

I do sometimes question if my relationship is too shallow because appearance and attraction are often not ignored. I can get very insecure over this, and after hearing people say that looks don't matter in their relationship, think that maybe we don't have 'real' love (whatever that means). But, we are both people who value fitness and health and aesthetics, so it does make sense to value appearance more, because that often reflects how much effort one puts into those kinds of things.

 

[buddleia]

<i>When do looks matter and not matter to you?
How so?
How do you deal with people that you'd never date coming on to you...and refusing to back down?
Why do you (or do you not) feel looks matter</i>
<br>
They matter more so in the beginning when I don't really know the person. Face it, we're visual creatures and the way we look impacts all of us (partly why we're all makeup fans). Good looks can be an incentive for people to talk to each other, but good looks alone can't carry a relationship (although some people do stay with their partner because they're sooooo hot. Blech!). Someone can be very attractive, which makes you want to get to know them better, but if they open their mouth and say stupid/mean things, they would not be attractive to me anymore.

Good looks can be an incentive to start talking... but from there, personality matters more. Also, the more you like someone, the more attractive they become.

How do I feel about people who I wouldn't date coming on to me? Ha, that doesn't really happen to me, so I don't have to worry about it!

 

[martiangurll]

Bottom line, I will be shallow enough to say they matter. But I will also say that if I really like a man's personality, his looks will sort of grow on me.

That being said, if there is no physical attraction at all, or if he looks repulsive--it isn't gonna happen for me.

I have heard it said that men fall in love with women they are attracted to and that women become more and more attracted to men they are in love with, but I am not sure if I believe that.

I can say there are men who I wasn't that into their looks and as I got to know them and like them for their other attributes, they got "better looking" to me. So, to some degree I think that holds true for females.

You can call me vain and I won't deny it, however, if a man is fugly, I won't ever be attracted, I don't care how much I like the personality.

 

[moonlit]

the ugly truth:

looks matter.. It doesnt matter if u are a nice person.. but if you look like crap, the other person will just "put" up with it..

my guy friends tell me that they wouldnt mind if their girl puts on weight..

Ive had a bf tell me at EVERY given opportunity that "I LOOK LIKE SH*T AND I AM A TURN OFF"

and guess what? I hear exactly the opposite from the other guys Ive seen/made out with

I have body issues because of my bf- zero self esteem.

I am joining a gym next saturday to get back in shape, to hear more compliments and to fit into all my beautiful clothes and flaunt.

bottom line: men are visual.. u got to be in shape.

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by moonlit the ugly truth: looks matter.. It doesnt matter if u are a nice person.. but if you look like crap, the other person will just "put" up with it.. my guy friends tell me that they wouldnt mind if their girl puts on weight.. Ive had a bf tell me at EVERY given opportunity that "I LOOK LIKE SH*T AND I AM A TURN OFF" and guess what? I hear exactly the opposite from the other guys Ive seen/made out with I have body issues because of my bf- zero self esteem. I am joining a gym next saturday to get back in shape, to hear more compliments and to fit into all my beautiful clothes and flaunt. bottom line: men are visual.. u got to be in shape.

well your ex sounds like a major ass!! you know i think you're beautiful

i think it's great that you want to tone up a bit and feel good but make sure you are doing it for you, and not some tit who didn't realise what a beautiful woman he had

 

[AndSparkle]

I think at the start of a relationship yes, but as it progresses, you look beyond it. Which is probably why I'm putting on so much weight atm...

 

[banana1234]

you have to be attracted to some one, bottom line, or the relationship will not work

taking into consideration whether you find some one attractive is not shallow, its basic human instinct. we are programmed to look for the man that will give us the best off spring, the manly men, the best genetically for us

that is why so many of us are attracted to bad boys



however, u can be beautiful on the outside and still be and ugly person

i would nt say my boyfriend is the best looking person i have dated, but i am still attracted to him more than previous boyfriends, because of his wonderful personality.

however, if i find a bloke physically repulsive, it is never going to work

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AndSparkle I think at the start of a relationship yes, but as it progresses, you look beyond it. Which is probably why I'm putting on so much weight atm...

it happens to us all!

 

[AndSparkle]

Indeed! Thankfully my bf can look beyond it.. if he couldn't, he's not worth it anyway..

 

[paperfishies]

Yes, looks matter and if someone says they don't then they're lying.
I will also add...an amazing personality can make a mediocre looking person a shit ton more attractive and a super shitty personality can make a mega hot person far less attractive.

 

[m4dswine]

Yes looks matter.

However, what one person finds attractive is different to the next.

 

[chocolategoddes]

I agree with pretty much everything that has already been said.
It's been proven scientifically that looks do matter, not just in humans but in all sorts of animals.

 

[Goat Goat Etc.]

When do looks matter and not matter to you?
-Yep. Look matter with guys I meet, not friends--I don't wanna come off as some valley girl Nazi who wants to be around ppl just like her.
How so?
-If guys are gonna scrutinize girls so much more for looks why not do the same?
How do you deal with people that you'd never date coming on to you...and refusing to back down?
-I'm less nice than I would be. I'm pretty dismissive and mouth "no."
Why do you (or do you not) feel looks matter?
-If you're honest with yourself you realize you have one chance to make an impression--unless you're in environment constantly with someone you find attractive perhaps you can win them over with personality.

 

[bellaboomboom]

Yes, to me, I have to say - they matter: Two case studies:

1) ex husband - was never attracted to him really at all at first (his sister introducted us) - but as someone else said, once we hung out and got to know each other, I grew to like him, then to love him, then to think he was attractive. That said, I do know there was something missing between us. I think he was trying to hard to win me over and I was too young and naive to really have put much thought into it. Did not last very long.

2) Hubby now

- after my divorce I was quite bitter and had no interest in meeting ANYONE. My hubby and I worked for the same Company and one day they had a regional meeting. That is when I saw him! It was love at first sight. I was like "OMG! Who is this most beautiful man I ever saw????" Well, my boss at the time introduced us and I found out he worked at a local branch.

Anyway that day I got back to the office and looked him up in the company directory. To make a long story short, two months later, he came to work in my office.

Nuf said.