Does age really matter??

[Bubbles12_98]

Does it matter or is it just a # like people claim? First lets set down the rules...the couple is trully care for each other & are very serious about liking/loving one another. So don't think of it as some creepy "just after sex" thing *lol* Now...what if the guy is 33 & the girl is 18? Does it matter? BUT what if the woman is 33 and the boy is 18?? Does it seem odd? But if they have real feelings for each other why does anyone else care or try to put their input about it. They're opinion shouldn't matter b/c they're not the ones in the relationship. I dunno..what are ya'lls thoughts about this subject??

 

[Pink_minx]

In my opinion I certainly dont care. If they think they are truly in love no matter the huge age difference then I think its totally fine. It may be weird seeing that an older man is going out with a younger woman like what you said. People may think of him as a pervert and that hes taking advantage of her because she is still young or confused. But I think it really depends on that guy because even a girl going out with a guy that is the same age as her can be taking advantage of her. I mean it all depends if the two people are fine with it and are having a good relationship then I see no problem with the whole age gap difference between the two people. I mean my grandpa is over 60 years old and hes with his wife that is 40 yrs. old and have 2 kids. So I dont see it as a big deal with the whole big age difference.

 

[Hawkeye]

Personally I think it is a little creepy. I mean the maturity levels are just way crazy at 18. I wouldnt do it personally but thats just me.

 

[professionaltart]

I'm gonna have to say yes age matters...to me but im not preaching! I feel that if someone is 18 and their significant other is 33, regardless or love, what do you really have in common? 18 year olds and 33 year olds are in totally different stages of their lives: one may being going to college or just graduating high school and one is already int he stages of building a career.

Me and my ex broke up and we're only 2 years apart because our maturity levels were so different. I was ready to take on the world and he was still stuck in a college mindframe. oh well!

thats just myopinion!!

 

[jess98765]

i agree with professionaltart. 33 and 18 is quite a big age difference- i kinda freaks me out! it's like one's just left school really and the other has already got a job. ewhhh now that i think about it more, 33 and 18- my mum is 40 and i'm 18- the age difference is huge!!!

 

[beautifulxdisaster]

It does to an extent I think, mainly different maturity levels! in example a 13 yr old dating a 18 yr old but in this day and age, kids grow faster it's hard to tell. but in any instance its more about maturity.

 

[user2]

I have a weird way of thinking about those couples!

I always think: How old was he when she was born?
That's kinda creepy to me when some 50 year old guy dates a 21 year old girl! So he was 29 when she was born and nearly reached everything in life! And she is still in diapers!

 

[Sanne]

I think it's a great thing that people found love in eachother, so I don't give a shit about their ages, that's their business! My boyfriend 1,5 year younger than me, and I love how mature he is, and that I'm not, and don't have to be!

and the sex must be good: boys peek in their early 20's, and ladies peek in their late 30's, so younger boys and older girls should be making fireworks

 

[nphernetton]

Age matters to an extent, but it's also just a number to another extent...Some people are VERY mature at 18 while some are not. Some people have been through life experiences that make relationships stronger by age 18, and others have not. (come on, we've all seen it, a 'grown up' relationship or the 15, 16 year old 'highschool fling').

It very much depends on the people, how mature they are, what they've been through, and what they are willing to invest in a relationship. I know several of my friends, back when we were 18, would not have been willing to give much or COMPROMISE at all (for serious things) in a relationship, but now they would.

I dated a guy who was 28 when I was 19, we complimented eachother personality/maturity wise VERY well.

 

[user4]

i think it all depends. a 15 year age difference is very different when its say 40 and 55 that when its 18 and 33. at age 18 i could never have imagines myself with a 33 year old because i couldnt see myself having anything in common with them. i was in school, didnt know the first thing about REAL life and a 33 year old has been through it already. But, if you do manage to have things in common and love eachother and respect eachother i don't think it should be a problem. the only thing i can see going wrong is that the older of the couple can think he/she knows more and try to mold the younger into what he/she wants. but that's not always the case.

 

[MACgirl]

Im double sided on this, i agree that age shouldnt matter in a real relationship becuase if you truly love someone then it shouldnt matter. My fiance is 22 and im 18, we have been happy for two years. Another thing is that the world is all happy hugs and kisses and thier are girls who are golddiggers and their are old guys who use and abuse of innocent niave girls. S obottom line is i feel as though you cant be really connected with a way older lover (33 to 18 ) becuase besides the physical attraction and the romantic times, your at totally different places....but whatever floats your boat....

 

[eyeshadowfreak]

I think age matters when you're dealing with someone VERY young and someone significantly older, just because the two people are probably in very different places in their lives. However, that's not always true and it really does depend on the two people involved.

Hell, I'm 24 years old and all the older people that know me always say that I'm wise beyond my years and that I'm not what they would imagine a typical 24 year old would be like.

In the grand scheme of things, I think as long as both people are adults (and when I say adults I mean old to be allowed into the same places so 21 and up), it's their choice. I see nothing wrong with it. Like any relationship, the only things that matter are that they want to be with each other and both want the same things in the future.

 

[eyeshadowfreak]

Quote:

Originally Posted by professionaltart I'm gonna have to say yes age matters...to me but im not preaching! I feel that if someone is 18 and their significant other is 33, regardless or love, what do you really have in common? 18 year olds and 33 year olds are in totally different stages of their lives: one may being going to college or just graduating high school and one is already int he stages of building a career. thats just myopinion!!

I agree with you on some level. 18 and 33 is a huge difference because of stages and where they are in their lives, but 30 and 45? Not so much in my book and that's still 15 years.

 

[~~Queenofshuz~~]

You know this really confuses me.....before I met my boyfriend and was doing some online chatting, guys would IM me and the first question would be, "how old are you?"......I would say my age (16 at the time) and the guys that were only two years older than me would just click off.....what is the problem?....I mean I know there's the whole dilemma with guys and girls because the little whores out there will acuse them of rape and all that stuff but honestly....just to talk to someone is not that hard.....I don't know....it all seems to depend on maturity levels....you can be with someone the same age as you and still feel like they're 10 years younger....someone that's 50 may be a little more settled in their life than someone who's 25.....but then again...it's the maturity level.....I'm 17 and have always found that I've been a little more ahead intellectually than people my age so, I get along better with people at least 8-10 years older than me.......back on the subject though.....love is love and whether it be between two 20 year olds or a 50 year old and a 25 year old, it's all the same.......as long as they are in the same point in their lives.....

 

[kimmy]

i believe that it is in fact just a number.

when i was sixteen, i met this guy who was twenty one. we had a really good time together and we got really close, and really i don't think either of us gave the age difference a second thought.

i think it all has to do with your maturity levels and how you REALLY feel about the person, you know? i mean...if you're fifteen and you fall in love with someone who's thirty, i don't see an issue there, as long as you're both happy, it's all good :]

 

[lah_knee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~~Queenofshuz~~ You know this really confuses me.....before I met my boyfriend and was doing some online chatting, guys would IM me and the first question would be, "how old are you?"......I would say my age (16 at the time) and the guys that were only two years older than me would just click off.....what is the problem?....I mean I know there's the whole dilemma with guys and girls because the little whores out there will acuse them of rape and all that stuff but honestly....just to talk to someone is not that hard.....I don't know....it all seems to depend on maturity levels....you can be with someone the same age as you and still feel like they're 10 years younger....someone that's 50 may be a little more settled in their life than someone who's 25.....but then again...it's the maturity level.....I'm 17 and have always found that I've been a little more ahead intellectually than people my age so, I get along better with people at least 8-10 years older than me.......back on the subject though.....love is love and whether it be between two 20 year olds or a 50 year old and a 25 year old, it's all the same.......as long as they are in the same point in their lives.....

its just different though... wait til you are a bit older and you will look back and think "wow i actually thought i was mature... and i thought i knew it all" and you realize you have changed a bit. situations, people, events all change a person. and obviously a person with more years would have more experiences to learn from i guess thats where the idea of wisdom and age go hand in hand came from. and no its not always 100% true, i just think a 16 year old probably wont have much in common with a 21 year old. and even if you do, laws kinda keep you from doing what you really wanted. haha

 

[Isis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lah_knee wait til you are a bit older and you will look back and think "wow i actually thought i was mature... and i thought i knew it all" and you realize you have changed a bit. situations, people, events all change a person. and obviously a person with more years would have more experiences to learn from i guess thats where the idea of wisdom and age go hand in hand came from. and no its not always 100% true, i just think a 16 year old probably wont have much in common with a 21 year old. and even if you do, laws kinda keep you from doing what you really wanted. haha

That is deffinitelly very true. At least it is for me b/c I experienced it for myself. I look back on it all now and think "Sh*t, I was stupid!" And "what was I thinking?" I can't decide who was dumber, them or me. My b/f's were all older than myself by at least 5 years or as much as 10. But if I hadn't dated them or done certain things along the way, I highly doubt I'd be were I'm at now (dating a guy for the past 4 years who's the same age as myself [25], but that's OT).
I think what the point is, when your younger, that age gap is more significant than you really want to believe. You just can't be at the same stage or level of maturity as the other person, or realistically even have the same goals in mind. There will always be an inequality in the relationship that can't be avoided. And I know most of us have been there and scraped that.
Just my to yen. HTH.

 

[Ada]

When I was 18 I dated a 34 year old man. I was very mature for my age and he was immature for his age (aren't all guys, though?) so we got along well. It wasn't a situation where anyone was being used or taken advantage of. We both learned a lot from each other. I was smarter and more educated than him, but he had more life experience. We dated for 3 1/2 years and on the whole I would say it was a good relationship. We were as equal as two people 16 years apart in age could be.

Which, in retrospect, is not very equal at all. One reason a younger person is attracted to an older person is because they have so much figured out already. You're just getting out of high school and don't know what you want-- and here's this guy who not only knows what he wants but he has a lot of it accomplished already. The problem is that you need to figure those things out for yourself and when you're in a relationship with someone older you tend to absorb their desires and ideas about life instead. It's hard to grow into an independant strong person in that sort of situation. Not that the man i was involved with was in any way controlling or domineering-- it doesn't have to be something deliberate, it's just the way things tend to happen. The younger person is always the one who is more willing to change than the older person and that's not a healthy balance for a relationship.

If I had it all to do over again i don't know if I would. I certainly learned a lot and there were plenty of positive things that came out of that relationship. But rather than helping me grow as a person and figure out what i wanted in life, which is what i thought was happening at the time, it ultimately had the opposite effect. I think it would have been better if it had been a brief affair, not a long serious relationship, honestly. I invested too much of myself into a relationship with someone who was in a completely different place in his life and wanted completely different things from. I thought we wanted the sames things but that's because I had no idea what i wanted when I was 18-- and no one does, believe me.

 

[pushhupsindrag]

i personally think its a bit strange, i mean they may love eachother but one of them will have gone thorugh more in life and the other still has alot to learn and is still growing up and experiencing life. in some cases i dont think it matters but 18 and 33 are two totally different types of people. but thats just my opinion

 

[joytheobscure]

I think 18 and 33 would be hard. My husband is 33 and I'm 28 and he is ahead of me maturity (I think he's like an old man)-- I see 18 as so young now, I can't believe I was 18 when I was pregnant and married (same husband he is five years older than I am). I think at a certain point age does not matter as much after everyone is older - I think after 25 age is not such a huge thing- but I think if it is the "right" thing it will be no matter the age difference, especially if the compatibility is there.