I'm really pale and I too either get too much dollymix and look clowny
or can't get it to show up enough. Ok a few tips for you:
1. Try bronzer on the cheeks first, then just tap some dollymix on the apples of your cheeks, this really shows up the colour lovely yet its not too much, for some reason bronzer and dollymix work nicely together
2. Also try putting dollymix on then apply an illuminating product like Bobbi brown rose shimmerbrick or anything similar, this creates a nice effect......even a golden toned illuminator is nice, the BB rose is my fave for dollymix tho. A tip I read somewhere if you wanna tone down dollymix is to apply the iluminator FIRST then apply the blush ON TOP.
Hope that helps you
Let us know how you get on!