Kiwi Girlie
Well-known member
........
Don't know what to do anymore...
- Thread starter Kiwi Girlie
- Start date
sexypuma
Well-known member
I am sorry that you are going through this. I don't think that he stopped caring about you. He is probably acting out his frustration. Besides,a lot of guys are not very good at expressing their feeling in an effective manner. I do hope though that you guys will work it out.
Kiwi Girlie
Well-known member
Yeah, I know deep down he still loves me, he just has a funny way of showing it lately. He acts like he doesn't care and that hurts me alot. Like i'll tell him I love him and he won't say it back, things like that. And I i'll say that Im going to come up and see him if he wants me to in the weekend and he'll be like "I don't care it's up to you" which kind of makes me feel worthless.
He's just changed alot lately, I know everyone changes. But he seems like a different person. He used to show me how much he loved me and things like that, and as of late he's just made me feel like im holding him back from meeting a girl where he lives and things. I just want him to be happy.. And I don't know if I can make him happy.
Thanks so much for your reply though
He's just changed alot lately, I know everyone changes. But he seems like a different person. He used to show me how much he loved me and things like that, and as of late he's just made me feel like im holding him back from meeting a girl where he lives and things. I just want him to be happy.. And I don't know if I can make him happy.
Thanks so much for your reply though
silverblackened
Well-known member
Let him know how he makes you feel, and especially what he does to makes you feel this way - things that he said that make you feel worthless, like you mentioned, for example. You might be afraid of triggering an argument that could blow up into something worse, but you really should talk about this. Relationships are about two individuals coming together, not about one person pandering to the other all the time. It's been said over and over again, but these things bear repeating: Communication is key.
The only way to know if he's happy is to ask him. Ask him what would make him happy, ask him if being with you makes him happy. But as much as you want it to be about him, it has to be about you, too. If the things that make him happy are the same things that would kill you then you need to rethink things, maybe try to work out a compromise that both of you have to make.
It could also just be that he's tired of working for the relationship and is just letting things slide. Particularly with the prospect of you moving to be with him soon, so he feels like he doesn't need to put in as much effort into spending time with you any more, since you'll be seeing each other tons.
I could go on and speculate for whole posts, so you'd better have a chat with him about this soon, before I flood the board with more (and wilder) guesses! *hugs*
The only way to know if he's happy is to ask him. Ask him what would make him happy, ask him if being with you makes him happy. But as much as you want it to be about him, it has to be about you, too. If the things that make him happy are the same things that would kill you then you need to rethink things, maybe try to work out a compromise that both of you have to make.
It could also just be that he's tired of working for the relationship and is just letting things slide. Particularly with the prospect of you moving to be with him soon, so he feels like he doesn't need to put in as much effort into spending time with you any more, since you'll be seeing each other tons.
I could go on and speculate for whole posts, so you'd better have a chat with him about this soon, before I flood the board with more (and wilder) guesses! *hugs*
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Did something happen to him to cause a change in behavior?
I would just calmly and rationally explain how you're feeling and tell him about your anxieties. You're preparing yourself for a big move, and if you're not moving for any reason other than him, it's better to know now than when you get there.
I would just calmly and rationally explain how you're feeling and tell him about your anxieties. You're preparing yourself for a big move, and if you're not moving for any reason other than him, it's better to know now than when you get there.
kimmy
Well-known member
honestly, if he doesn't make you feel like the only girl in the world, you might want to rethink moving in with him.
moving in together puts alot of stress on a relationship, and adding that to a relationship that's already somewhat stressed might be asking for trouble.
the best thing to do, imo, is to talk to him and ask him why he's distancing himself. tell him you need to know where you two really stand before you make that big jump of moving in together.
hope everything works out for you, honey.
moving in together puts alot of stress on a relationship, and adding that to a relationship that's already somewhat stressed might be asking for trouble.
the best thing to do, imo, is to talk to him and ask him why he's distancing himself. tell him you need to know where you two really stand before you make that big jump of moving in together.
hope everything works out for you, honey.
Kiwi Girlie
Well-known member
I don't think anything happened to make it change? Not that I know of anyway, But who knows something could have happened that he's not telling me about..
That's the thing, I've tryed to talk to him about it. But he never wants to talk about it, he'll change the subject or just get mad at me. He doesn't like to talk about anything serious...
And I am moving up to the same city he lives in but he says hes "not ready to move out of home yet" so I won't be living with him just in the same city. That also makes me feel kind of crap, Im moving 5 hours away from home, giving up a good job, changing my life pretty much to be with him. Yet he won't even move 5 mins away from his home to be with me?
I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I should give up and let him move on. Yet I can't imagine my life without him, He's pretty much the only good thing in it right now.
Sorry for all the blabbering, just need to vent..
Thanks for the suggestions girls.
That's the thing, I've tryed to talk to him about it. But he never wants to talk about it, he'll change the subject or just get mad at me. He doesn't like to talk about anything serious...
And I am moving up to the same city he lives in but he says hes "not ready to move out of home yet" so I won't be living with him just in the same city. That also makes me feel kind of crap, Im moving 5 hours away from home, giving up a good job, changing my life pretty much to be with him. Yet he won't even move 5 mins away from his home to be with me?
I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I should give up and let him move on. Yet I can't imagine my life without him, He's pretty much the only good thing in it right now.
Sorry for all the blabbering, just need to vent..
Thanks for the suggestions girls.
kimmy
Well-known member
if he won't talk about it, then it's a much bigger problem than you might think. a lack of communication is hell on a relationship.
if you have a good job and good, loving home and there's no reason you're leaving except to be closer to him you must be very committed and dedicated to him. but if he isn't reciprocating, you two may just need a little time apart so that you both can really sit and think about what's best for yourselves and for each other.
if you have a good job and good, loving home and there's no reason you're leaving except to be closer to him you must be very committed and dedicated to him. but if he isn't reciprocating, you two may just need a little time apart so that you both can really sit and think about what's best for yourselves and for each other.
Kiwi Girlie
Well-known member
Thanks for your posts hun.
I've been thinking about it and like you said I think the best thing to do is give it some space, let him decide what he wants.
I just hope he decides he still wants to be with me
I've been thinking about it and like you said I think the best thing to do is give it some space, let him decide what he wants.
I just hope he decides he still wants to be with me
kimmy
Well-known member
Quote:
i know the feeling, sweetie. it's gonna be tough, but at least this way you'll know that however it ends up is the way it's meant to end up.
if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can pm me.
i hope everything works out!
Originally Posted by Kiwi Girlie
Thanks for your posts hun. I've been thinking about it and like you said I think the best thing to do is give it some space, let him decide what he wants. I just hope he decides he still wants to be with me
|
i know the feeling, sweetie. it's gonna be tough, but at least this way you'll know that however it ends up is the way it's meant to end up.
Kiwi Girlie
Well-known member
Thanks so much, i'll definately pm you if I need to talk
Yeah that's a good way of looking at it, if it's meant to be it's meant to be.
Yeah that's a good way of looking at it, if it's meant to be it's meant to be.
IcesUltraGlam7
Well-known member
I would say #1 your not living with him now #2 you dont have his kids # 3 by what your saying he sounds like jerk.Right now you dont owe him anything.You shouldnt be putting in 100% to him I've been through this.While you can break up,Cry for the hours needed and move on to someone better.someone who will put 100 % in along side with you.There are millions of single men out there.With That even said if you want to bother with them.Perhaps you can run into Mr.Right doing a favorite activity or hanging out with a friend.By what your saying your heart grew fond of a friendship,relationship when you both first started seeing eachother.Things change.People change.It's not my business I know but I stumbled upon this and wouldn't want to see any girl end up in a bad relationship.There is nothing more hurtfull then you putting in 100% someday when your barefoot and pregnant and he's still clowning around.
sexypuma
Well-known member
oh girl, that changes everything! I thought you guys were moving in together. But you are just moving in the same town to be closer to him. In that case, I would say don't go. Just stay where you are and talk to him. It's really not fair that you be the one making all the sacrifices to make the relationship work.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
It sounds like you have a lot going for you in your current life. Is he really worth giving it up? If he isn't willing to discuss what's wrong, you're going to go through a lot of stress quickly.
It's hard to imagine life without a person you love, but you can get through it. Having survived heartbreaks, it hurts, it sucks, but you get over it eventually to the point you wonder "What was I thinking?" or more kindly, realizing the person you become after the breakup wouldn't have worked out with your ex.
It's hard to imagine life without a person you love, but you can get through it. Having survived heartbreaks, it hurts, it sucks, but you get over it eventually to the point you wonder "What was I thinking?" or more kindly, realizing the person you become after the breakup wouldn't have worked out with your ex.
xbeatofangelx
Well-known member
Take the money you've saved, and buy a purse with it.
Just kidding!
However, it doesn't seem like he wants to be invested anymore.
A purse sounds a lot more dependable than him right now.
But if you can get him to open up, maybe it will clear up the situation. Try talking to him in person, that way he can't evade your questions as easily.
Just kidding!
However, it doesn't seem like he wants to be invested anymore.
A purse sounds a lot more dependable than him right now.
But if you can get him to open up, maybe it will clear up the situation. Try talking to him in person, that way he can't evade your questions as easily.
dmenchi
Well-known member
I know excactly how you feel, i feel like this often too. it makes me wonder is it just me? am i to needy? or imaginening things? And then i make excuses, but i know he doesn't want me to be 'his' anymore....
ohhh guys are such a waste of time....i feel like we could accomplish so much more focusing the thoughts we waste on them on something more usefull !!!
ohhh guys are such a waste of time....i feel like we could accomplish so much more focusing the thoughts we waste on them on something more usefull !!!
dmenchi
Well-known member
Quote:
I know it's ur relationship and you guys have something special and nobody can judge him like you, because we don't know him like you do,but: DON't move there! there are just too many red flags and he doesn't want to talk about it! Then don't waste your time trying to figure it out ,if he doesn't even want to talk about it. He sounds inmature and selfish!!! Do you really think he will shower you with love if you move there, if he doesn't even appreciate your offer to come for the weekend??? I'd say he might be scared, but since he's not willing to talk-you shouldn't be willing to care!
| Originally Posted by Kiwi Girlie
I don't think anything happened to make it change? Not that I know of anyway, But who knows something could have happened that he's not telling me about.. That's the thing, I've tryed to talk to him about it. But he never wants to talk about it, he'll change the subject or just get mad at me. He doesn't like to talk about anything serious... And I am moving up to the same city he lives in but he says hes "not ready to move out of home yet" so I won't be living with him just in the same city. That also makes me feel kind of crap, Im moving 5 hours away from home, giving up a good job, changing my life pretty much to be with him. Yet he won't even move 5 mins away from his home to be with me? I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I should give up and let him move on. Yet I can't imagine my life without him, He's pretty much the only good thing in it right now. Sorry for all the blabbering, just need to vent.. Thanks for the suggestions girls. |
I know it's ur relationship and you guys have something special and nobody can judge him like you, because we don't know him like you do,but: DON't move there! there are just too many red flags and he doesn't want to talk about it! Then don't waste your time trying to figure it out ,if he doesn't even want to talk about it. He sounds inmature and selfish!!! Do you really think he will shower you with love if you move there, if he doesn't even appreciate your offer to come for the weekend??? I'd say he might be scared, but since he's not willing to talk-you shouldn't be willing to care!
