tricky
Well-known member
I feel like shit right now. So I must vent.
In Sept. I moved from L.A. to NJ (and I work in NY) after breaking up with my BF of 7 yrs. I am originally from the east coast. I lived in L.A. for 5 years. When I broke up with him he was acting like he didn't want anything to do with me anymore and I felt completely neglected. He always knew that I'd move to NY to try and further advance my career (I'm in the fashion industry) if we broke up. Well I guess he didn't take me too seriously because after a discussion we had where I reminded him of this, he told me didn't want to live with me anymore and couldn't meet my needs, yet we could still be in a relationship. I said I'd try that for a while and see how it goes, but I got sick of it pretty soon so I officially ended it and moved out here. I will say in his defense, that I've always been depressed and only last year did I start addressing the depression, so he has had to put up with a lot of crap with me when it came down to me being so self-loathing. I was far from perfect in the relationship.
So I moved out here and generally speaking I've been happy. Me and the ex have talked almost every day since I moved (good and bad conversations). In February after talking to 2 friends of a friend, I tried ignoring him based on 1) I felt that I couldn't trust him anymore 2) I never want to move back to L.A., I hate it there, and he loves it there (he was born and raised). So I ignored him for 3 or 4 days and he FREAKED OUT. Big time. He was calling me/ texting me/ emailing me non-stop. At first his messages were him being an asshole trying to guilt me into talking to him again, then the messages turned to appologetic, then they turned into straight up freaking out. I ended up talking to him again. He told me he'd make sacrifices for me this time, move out here, go to college, do whatever he needed to do in order to be with me. He visited me twice since then and I have to say things have been pretty good between us.
Tonight though something kind of.... threw me off. Nothing he said or did. I started thinking about the situation and started crying. Since he originally told me he'd move out here, he's more or less said to me he would only do that if he could get a job in his field. Which would be really hard, because there are only 3 or 4 companies out here that he could work for in his field. We had discussed moving somewhere else that isn't L.A. or NY. However, as I'm sure you know, those are the fashion capitals of the US, and fashion jobs are extremely limited anywhere else in the US. So if I moved anywhere that wasn't L.A. or NY, I probably wouldn't be able to get a job in my field.
So I called him because I wanted to talk about it. I'm sick of not knowing what will happen, I want a fucking answer. I feel like I'm wasting my time otherwise with someone who won't ever make a sacrifice for me if he won't move out here. I do not want to move from where I am now. He seems to not understand that. He told me on the phone (in a very pissed off voice) that he can't believe I'm bringing this up AGAIN, that he doesn't have an answer for me. That he will move out here only if he can find a job in his field where he does not have to take a step down in position or salary. It is very highly unlikely that will ever happen since there are literally only 4 or so companies out here that exist in his field. He said that he won't SACRIFICE that. Then, he had the audacity to tell me that I was SELFISH. After I moved out to L.A., away from my family, lived there for 5 years, in a place that I grew to hate, but I stayed there for him, I'm SELFISH. So I said "I am not selfish" as I cried and I hung up on him.
I called my friend to talk to her about it. He called me 4 times since I hung up on him. He has left me 3 voicemails. I haven't listened to them yet.
I'm so exhausted.
Thanks for letting me rant.
In Sept. I moved from L.A. to NJ (and I work in NY) after breaking up with my BF of 7 yrs. I am originally from the east coast. I lived in L.A. for 5 years. When I broke up with him he was acting like he didn't want anything to do with me anymore and I felt completely neglected. He always knew that I'd move to NY to try and further advance my career (I'm in the fashion industry) if we broke up. Well I guess he didn't take me too seriously because after a discussion we had where I reminded him of this, he told me didn't want to live with me anymore and couldn't meet my needs, yet we could still be in a relationship. I said I'd try that for a while and see how it goes, but I got sick of it pretty soon so I officially ended it and moved out here. I will say in his defense, that I've always been depressed and only last year did I start addressing the depression, so he has had to put up with a lot of crap with me when it came down to me being so self-loathing. I was far from perfect in the relationship.
So I moved out here and generally speaking I've been happy. Me and the ex have talked almost every day since I moved (good and bad conversations). In February after talking to 2 friends of a friend, I tried ignoring him based on 1) I felt that I couldn't trust him anymore 2) I never want to move back to L.A., I hate it there, and he loves it there (he was born and raised). So I ignored him for 3 or 4 days and he FREAKED OUT. Big time. He was calling me/ texting me/ emailing me non-stop. At first his messages were him being an asshole trying to guilt me into talking to him again, then the messages turned to appologetic, then they turned into straight up freaking out. I ended up talking to him again. He told me he'd make sacrifices for me this time, move out here, go to college, do whatever he needed to do in order to be with me. He visited me twice since then and I have to say things have been pretty good between us.
Tonight though something kind of.... threw me off. Nothing he said or did. I started thinking about the situation and started crying. Since he originally told me he'd move out here, he's more or less said to me he would only do that if he could get a job in his field. Which would be really hard, because there are only 3 or 4 companies out here that he could work for in his field. We had discussed moving somewhere else that isn't L.A. or NY. However, as I'm sure you know, those are the fashion capitals of the US, and fashion jobs are extremely limited anywhere else in the US. So if I moved anywhere that wasn't L.A. or NY, I probably wouldn't be able to get a job in my field.
So I called him because I wanted to talk about it. I'm sick of not knowing what will happen, I want a fucking answer. I feel like I'm wasting my time otherwise with someone who won't ever make a sacrifice for me if he won't move out here. I do not want to move from where I am now. He seems to not understand that. He told me on the phone (in a very pissed off voice) that he can't believe I'm bringing this up AGAIN, that he doesn't have an answer for me. That he will move out here only if he can find a job in his field where he does not have to take a step down in position or salary. It is very highly unlikely that will ever happen since there are literally only 4 or so companies out here that exist in his field. He said that he won't SACRIFICE that. Then, he had the audacity to tell me that I was SELFISH. After I moved out to L.A., away from my family, lived there for 5 years, in a place that I grew to hate, but I stayed there for him, I'm SELFISH. So I said "I am not selfish" as I cried and I hung up on him.
I called my friend to talk to her about it. He called me 4 times since I hung up on him. He has left me 3 voicemails. I haven't listened to them yet.
I'm so exhausted.
Thanks for letting me rant.
