Feeling Alone?
- Thread starter luvsic
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justseenaface85
Well-known member
I couldn't help but he distracted by the link under your post...and I'm sorry that the website even exists.
kaylabella
Well-known member
I think the best idea is to be patient, don't get too depressed or discouraged if your social life doesn't bounce back right away. If you're just starting back, then you have to give it some time to reconnect with your old friends and make new, and possibly better ones. Maybe make some time during the week to go out for coffee to reconnect, or even have a mini study group with new people in your classes. I think that if you start out with little outings like that then your weekends may fill up, but until then, stay positive and keep working on your grades and I am sure people will love to be around you. ;D
gildedangel
Well-known member
Talk to people! I have made great friends within my major. You just have to put yourself out there and talk to people, and you will make more friends before you know it!
shadowaddict
Well-known member
I'm so sorry you're having trouble. I can kind of relate. My daughter suffered really bad depression during last fall semester and she had to withdrawal. She has started back this fall but at a new school. She is having a really hard time.
First she liked that they had apartment style dorms so she didn’t have to share a bedroom (we paid for her a private room at the other college, not available here). But then they had an over-flow of new students so they had to house them in hotels so she is cramped in a hotel room with someone. Her roomie is very nice; it’s just there is no space. Also this new college is much larger than her other one and she is having panic attacks because she can’t find her classes.
She says she has a hard time making friends too. I guess I don’t see it as her mother because she is a friendly person and would help anyone. But she does tend to close herself off somewhat, especially when she is uncomfortable somewhere.
Maybe just like the others have said and I’ve told her. Just try to talk to people. I’ve told her when she goes to eat maybe instead of looking at the large groups having fun and laughing look for a table with one or two people and go up and say hi. Or like the other day she said she overheard these two guys talking about something, anyway something she knows a lot about and she was saying how funny their conversation was. I asked her if she said turned around and kind of laughed and said well I overheard ….. and I think…... But of course she didn’t. I thought that would have been a great way to get a convo started and meet two new people. But if she is in a situation where she feels someone else is made to feel bad she will step right up to some giant of a guy and get in his face and tell him off. So it’s not like she’s afraid of people. But yet she goes in full panic mode and cannot walk into her class.
But I do think you kind of have to put yourself out there a bit. If you do it enough you’ll find new healthy friends. You may get the blow-off a couple of times but just don’t take it personally and try again.
I wish you the best of luck because I know it can be hard and frustrating but hang in there. I hate that you feel lonely, that’s such a terrible feeling. It’ll happen for you. You’re in my thoughts Sweetie. Sorry for the ramble.
First she liked that they had apartment style dorms so she didn’t have to share a bedroom (we paid for her a private room at the other college, not available here). But then they had an over-flow of new students so they had to house them in hotels so she is cramped in a hotel room with someone. Her roomie is very nice; it’s just there is no space. Also this new college is much larger than her other one and she is having panic attacks because she can’t find her classes.
She says she has a hard time making friends too. I guess I don’t see it as her mother because she is a friendly person and would help anyone. But she does tend to close herself off somewhat, especially when she is uncomfortable somewhere.
Maybe just like the others have said and I’ve told her. Just try to talk to people. I’ve told her when she goes to eat maybe instead of looking at the large groups having fun and laughing look for a table with one or two people and go up and say hi. Or like the other day she said she overheard these two guys talking about something, anyway something she knows a lot about and she was saying how funny their conversation was. I asked her if she said turned around and kind of laughed and said well I overheard ….. and I think…... But of course she didn’t. I thought that would have been a great way to get a convo started and meet two new people. But if she is in a situation where she feels someone else is made to feel bad she will step right up to some giant of a guy and get in his face and tell him off. So it’s not like she’s afraid of people. But yet she goes in full panic mode and cannot walk into her class.
But I do think you kind of have to put yourself out there a bit. If you do it enough you’ll find new healthy friends. You may get the blow-off a couple of times but just don’t take it personally and try again.
I wish you the best of luck because I know it can be hard and frustrating but hang in there. I hate that you feel lonely, that’s such a terrible feeling. It’ll happen for you. You’re in my thoughts Sweetie. Sorry for the ramble.
Shanti
Well-known member
This topic is making me dread starting college =_=;;
I tend to be terrible at meeting new people but I don't think I've ever worked myself up about it as much as I am just now thinking about it...
Sorry I don't have any advice for you... if you were in my city I'd gladly talk to you, but all I can really say is not to get worked up about it this time.
I've found that the times I worried the most about this situation were the times I jinxed it.
You know how they say you can do whatever if you tell yourself you can? I think it's like that. I'm generally a very negative person but I'm trying to change that mindset and get amped for school to start to off-set that negativity.
From some of your posts you remind me a lot of myself. After all these years, I think that what works most is not jinxing yourself in a negative mindset. It's hard especially for someone pessimistic, but it's very possible.
Good luck.
I tend to be terrible at meeting new people but I don't think I've ever worked myself up about it as much as I am just now thinking about it...
Sorry I don't have any advice for you... if you were in my city I'd gladly talk to you, but all I can really say is not to get worked up about it this time.
I've found that the times I worried the most about this situation were the times I jinxed it.
You know how they say you can do whatever if you tell yourself you can? I think it's like that. I'm generally a very negative person but I'm trying to change that mindset and get amped for school to start to off-set that negativity.
From some of your posts you remind me a lot of myself. After all these years, I think that what works most is not jinxing yourself in a negative mindset. It's hard especially for someone pessimistic, but it's very possible.
Good luck.
justseenaface85
Well-known member
I think you misunderstood what I said...I meant that it shouldn't exist because something that horrible shouldn't happen.
I'm currently having the same problem you're having (friends/etc) and I hope things get better
I'm currently having the same problem you're having (friends/etc) and I hope things get better
L1LMAMAJ
Well-known member
u know what can help? if u look for a job, you can meet new clients/customers (depending on what job u look for) and new co-workers that could very well become ur friends. don't worry. good friends will come your way. you just gotta be open to it and not be too shy. gl
Boasorte
Well-known member
partying is part of college life, jus don't over-do it, and the people you hang out with as well as yourself, can find a happy balance between the two. I'd say try going to a lounge or something when you're bored with nothing to do you can meet lots of people that way as well
X4biddenxLustX
Well-known member
Hey hun, long time no talk! Sorry I never was able to send you a PM. Lifes been crazy.
But anyways...I like to look at situations like this as the first day at a brand new school. You don't know anyone, and no one knows who you are. Scary, I know. But you have to try to as much as it may kill you talk to people! They won't know who you are unless you talk to them! Even small talk is good. Friends always start off as strangers until we talk and get to know them better and find that we enjoy spending time with each other.
I know it can be a bit hard but be confident! People get a better vibe from others who have a confident feeling to them. It makes them a lot more easily approachable.
But anyways...I like to look at situations like this as the first day at a brand new school. You don't know anyone, and no one knows who you are. Scary, I know. But you have to try to as much as it may kill you talk to people! They won't know who you are unless you talk to them! Even small talk is good. Friends always start off as strangers until we talk and get to know them better and find that we enjoy spending time with each other.
I know it can be a bit hard but be confident! People get a better vibe from others who have a confident feeling to them. It makes them a lot more easily approachable.
Shanti
Well-known member
Ugh.
School just started... orientation day was last Friday.
I haven't made any new friends yet, just acquaintances, and just a couple.
I feel so alone to the point where I'm seriously regretting moving here.
I miss my friends back home.
I feel like everyone's made their friends except me.
School just started... orientation day was last Friday.
I haven't made any new friends yet, just acquaintances, and just a couple.
I feel so alone to the point where I'm seriously regretting moving here.
I miss my friends back home.
I feel like everyone's made their friends except me.
kaliraksha
Well-known member
You can always start study groups for your classes during the week. That way you have somewhere to go and sometimes you just find out you click with someone when you're "forced" to spend a little time together.
I email my classes as a bulk list and ask if anyone wants to start a study group. I've met a few people to hang out with that way and one good friend that way too.
Have fun (it is college!) and realize it takes time, but it's at a stand still if you don't put yourself out there to be met =)
I email my classes as a bulk list and ask if anyone wants to start a study group. I've met a few people to hang out with that way and one good friend that way too.
Have fun (it is college!) and realize it takes time, but it's at a stand still if you don't put yourself out there to be met =)
NutMeg
Well-known member
Sometimes you have to not have expectations about other people. There's nothing wrong with only having acquaintances right away, friendships take time to develop. Just enjoy meeting and spending time with new people. Some of them will become friends, and some of them will not. But just because someone is flaky or not friend material doesn't mean that you can't have fun with them.
