Feeling very lonely right now

[tricky]

After finally officially cutting my ex-boyfriend (we were together 7 yrs, since we were 20) out of my life a month ago, and more or less feeling like I'm getting the cold shoulder from my FWB, I'm feeling rather sad & alone right now.

Someone tell me that it will all be ok.

How do you deal with being alone after 7 yrs of being in a relationship?

How can I make sure that I don't cling on to the first person I meet, like I did with my FWB?

How can I keep it in my head that I am a good person with a lot to offer, and that anyone would be lucky to have me as a significant other?

 

[purrtykitty]

It will be OK, and even though you're the one that cut things off...you still need time to grieve over the relationship. You should give yourself time before getting into another relationship. That doesn't mean you should sit alone at home. Go out and have fun! Meet new people, but don't rush into anything because you're lonely. You will find someone new and anyone would be lucky to have you! It's hard to see that now, since you're kinda down, but eventually you'll feel better and realize that you deserve the best!

 

[kimmae17]

i feel you! i just did pretty much the same thing recently. all i cansay is KEEP BUSY! i luckily have a crazy job that i love (social worker) that keeps my VERY busy, whcih i have been so thankful for. I have been trying to make plans with friends i dont see as much. spending more time with my family.. and of course shopping always makes me feel better!

 

[tricky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimmae17 i feel you! i just did pretty much the same thing recently. all i cansay is KEEP BUSY! i luckily have a crazy job that i love (social worker) that keeps my VERY busy, whcih i have been so thankful for. I have been trying to make plans with friends i dont see as much. spending more time with my family.. and of course shopping always makes me feel better!

Holy crap! I noticed you live in Hoboken, I live in Jersey City Heights. Hi, neighbor!

But yeah, I have been trying to keep busy, but tonight I'm just feeling down on myself. Tomorrow will be another day.

 

[Sexya(TM)?Princess]

just remember to put urself first for awhile until u are really strong inside and being lonely doesnt cross ur mind. if u date take it really slow. let urself feel sad and just cry it all out because eventually ull get to the point where u cant cry about him anymore. never forget theres always a new day tommorow.

 

[kimmae17]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tricky Holy crap! I noticed you live in Hoboken, I live in Jersey City Heights. Hi, neighbor! But yeah, I have been trying to keep busy, but tonight I'm just feeling down on myself. Tomorrow will be another day.

hey neighbor! i was actually in jersey city last night. IDIOT that i am parked in the bed bath and beyond parking lot and walked to newport center, um YEAH my car got towed. hah i was buying Mac! and it cost me $101! ahhhh. anyway, like i said busy busy busy. I have actually been so busy with work and random stuff,(weddings, bridal showers, bdays) that when i have a night with no plans i am THRILLED. i have gotten so good at keepign myself busy and enjoying myself(and not thinking about the ex),that i cant imagine actually dating someone and adding them into the mix! you will get there. it just takes time.

 

[iluffyew769769]

It will be ok! You may seem very lonely right now, but things aren't permanent. You will get over this and you will find someone who makes you happier than he did. Keep your head up!

 

[User93]

It all gonna be ok, girl. Just think about yourself more, try to go out,,, Maybe you wont feel like that at all, but when you're out finally, it gonna feel good. Know, that you are beautiful inside and outside. And everything gonna be fine, if you help yourself. "If you make it through the night, there's a brighter day" they say. Everything will work out fine! *hugs*

 

[kaliraksha]

This is a concept that I may not be able to explain well. Sometimes when you're with someone you feel worthy or valuable perhaps because they validate you. For example, I know friends that only feel attractive based on what their significant others say. One of my friends only feels "hot" when her bf tells her she looks "hot". So basically what I'm trying to say is that a significant other is a mirror. He or she can show you what a good person you are and all the things you have to offer, but those things are still yours. You are still that person without him there.

 

[noturavgurl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha This is a concept that I may not be able to explain well. Sometimes when you're with someone you feel worthy or valuable perhaps because they validate you. For example, I know friends that only feel attractive based on what their significant others say. One of my friends only feels "hot" when her bf tells her she looks "hot". So basically what I'm trying to say is that a significant other is a mirror. He or she can show you what a good person you are and all the things you have to offer, but those things are still yours. You are still that person without him there.

that is so well said.