For those ladies who have been through a divorce..

[whittt8]

I got divorced almost a year ago. It was one of the hardest decisions in my life. We got married young, I was 18. I spent over 4 years trying to make our marriage work. Then, I finally gave up. The night I told him to get out, I wasnt upset or anyting. I think at that point I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that our marriage was never going to work. I couldnt be the only person working, changing, and trying for a better marriage. I just told him to get out. I said if he wanted to work on it and do the things neccessary for our marriage and our family, he could come back and we could make it work. All I wanted from him was for him to work a job and contribute to the family as much as I did. Not take from it. And he never made the attempt after I kicked him out. We thought about getting back together for a few months afterwards, but as long as he wasnt going to change I knew I couldnt do it. So I cut my losses. I know this sounds kind of vague, but I'm leaving it that way intentionally. I dont like to tell all the gory details, so I'm not going to put it out there. Just know that I went through a lot, suffered a lot, and finally one day I was done.

I know how hard it is having a young child too. My son was only 2 when we split up. I did it though. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, and worked my butt off. Life isnt by any means perfect now. Nor is it easy, I have to work hard everyday. But we're happy and comfortable. Im sorry for what youre going through. Chin up though, it'll be hard. But anything easy aint worth a damn. You'll be happier in the long run and will find the right person for you. I didnt think I'd make it, but here I am with a much better life, I achieved on my own, my son is happy and healthy, and I have the love of a man many people wait a lifetime for

 

[MissMarley]

I will be divorced in 13 days. I was married for six years to a man I married at 20. Our premarital counselor advised me against marrying him. I think I knew it wasn't going to work on the wedding day, when all I wanted to do was run out the door. He never trusted me, told me I was unattractive, and constantly accused me of cheating (which never happened). Two years ago he moved into another bedroom. I'd been basically living with a roommate instead of a husband. It was the loneliest I've ever been. I felt so worthless and unlovable. We finally decided to divorce at the beginning of November, and moving out on my own has made me realize that I can take care of myself, and that I am intelligent and strong. I have a long way to go to reclaim my self-esteem and dignity, but I know I'll get there. You are worth more and so is your daughter. Good luck and take care- there are a lot of people here who understand.

 

[panther27]

Oh wow,Marley,you have been through sooo much in the past year.I'm glad you did what you needed to do,you are very strong.I'm sure lots of good things will be coming your way.Hugs.

I will be divorced in 13 days. I was married for six years to a man I married at 20. Our premarital counselor advised me against marrying him. I think I knew it wasn't going to work on the wedding day, when all I wanted to do was run out the door. He never trusted me, told me I was unattractive, and constantly accused me of cheating (which never happened). Two years ago he moved into another bedroom. I'd been basically living with a roommate instead of a husband. It was the loneliest I've ever been. I felt so worthless and unlovable. We finally decided to divorce at the beginning of November, and moving out on my own has made me realize that I can take care of myself, and that I am intelligent and strong. I have a long way to go to reclaim my self-esteem and dignity, but I know I'll get there. You are worth more and so is your daughter. Good luck and take care- there are a lot of people here who understand.

 

[MissMarley]

The last two years have been constant, unceasing hell, and they are already looking WAY up! We just live and learn, right?

 

[LMD84]

wow. i'm so sorry you are going through this sweetie - but this is a new year and hopefully a brand new start for you - you finally deserve some happiness.

 

[Cydonian]

Unfortunately, the "ah-ha" moment comes for most people when they meet someone else that is fantastic, wonderful and everything their current significant other is not. Even if it's just an opposite gender friend, that will open up your eyes real quick. But anyway, if you're unhappy, end it. I know it seems like a huge task but you will feel so much better about yourself once you do it. I've been in my share of shite relationships and have clung to some of them for entirely too long... and now I'm married to the most amazing person. I wish I had realized sooner how much I am worth and that I didn't deserve to be with those dirtbags. You are worth more than that too, do it for yourself and for your child.