getting down on the first night?

[CandyKisses1018]

I was listening to this Monica song while I was reading some of the posts on here.. and it sprung up a question..

what is your opinion on getting "down" on the first night?

 

[xsnowwhite]

personally...i would not do that. It's just not me. I mean maybe some crazy exception would occur but thats something i dont think i would do.

 

[FullWroth]

I think if two consenting adults are honest with each other about what they expect out of it and what the consequences might be or not be, they can do whatever they want on the first night, or any other night.

It's when people start lying to each other that I start to find things unacceptable, like if a person with an STD, especially one of the more dangerous ones, is sleeping around and not telling his/her partners that s/he has it beforehand, or something to that end.

 

[kimmy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FullWroth I think if two consenting adults are honest with each other about what they expect out of it and what the consequences might be or not be, they can do whatever they want on the first night, or any other night. It's when people start lying to each other that I start to find things unacceptable, like if a person with an STD, especially one of the more dangerous ones, is sleeping around and not telling his/her partners that s/he has it beforehand, or something to that end.

i agree.

it's not my thing to go there on the first night. there was one guy that i got really close with on the first night, but we didn't get "down." haha just really close to it. i told him from the start that i wasn't looking for a boyfriend, i had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and wasn't ready for another one. he told me upfront that he didn't want a girlfriend either and that he'd be happy with us just being friends, as was i. we had our fun spread out over a couple of months and parted ways on good terms. we both wanted the physical aspect of a relationship, but not the emotional.

there probably isn't another soul on earth i'd enter into something like that with, though. something just told me that he was trustworthy, and he was. he didn't run around town telling everyone what had gone on and he was never clingy. quietly jealous when i'd talk about other guys? yes, but he never made a big deal of it. and i don't regret what we did or had at all, i can honestly say that he gave me a really good experience, and that if it weren't for him being a stand up guy, i'd probably be off dudes forever because of my ex. so much love for him haha!

some people might think that's wrong, or slutty, or whatever but it worked for me and it worked for him. we both took something from it that we probably couldn't have taken from a normal relationship and for that, i'm grateful.

 

[Beauty Mark]

It's fine, but I prefer (if that's what going to happen) that it's with someone I know and trust, like a friend or someone like that. If it's a random stranger- you could open yourself up to a host of diseases (some people are just not honest). Also if you equate sex with emotional intimacy, it may not be a good idea.

I think you should do whatever you wish to do, but beware of the consequences, both emotional and physical.

 

[Divinity]

Personally, I think everyone here has awesome takes and depending upon the person and situation, I could see myself going with the options mentioned. BUT when it comes down to it, I like a little mystery. Part of the fun is the chase.

 

[SingFrAbsoltion]

I got "down" with my current bf at the first chance we had, but I don't think I'd do that again. Even though we've been together for over a year now, and love each other I didn't like how fast the start of it was.

 

[stjarna]

I feel so weird reading this question because it doesnt really apply to me at all.
Im 24 and have been with my boyfriend for over 6 years now. There was one time before me and my boyfriend got together that I had a random makeout session with a guy, but he was a really close guy friend and i was young and naive.. nothing extreme happened though.

I totally understand how something one time could happen but its not my style to do so. Im really picky and choosy whenit comes to people I let in that close, and I am the type of girl that relates sex to emotional feelings. So it would be hard to have an exeption to that rule. Personally anyways.

 

[SparklingWaves]

No, I would not.

 

[Macnarsandlove]

fine if ur responsible about it. not a great idea cause sometimes u can catch feeling and that sucks

 

[CantAffordMAC]

The second guy I ever had sex with...I met on myspace, he came to my house and we went out and ended up having sex that night. I kind of expected it to happen though...we kind of talked about it and it just happened. No big deal.

With my current boyfriend, we had a phone relationship for like 2 months before meeting in person. We had phone sex but agreed that we wanted to wait awhile before having sex, to make it more special. We met, and ended up having sex that same night. I actually got really upset because I felt like I had made a huge mistake and he wouldn't think of me as girlfriend material. But we got over that, and almost 2 years later we're still together. I do think this was a mistake in a way, because I always wonder how things would've been if we waited. But thats not the way it happened...and we are still fine.

I wouldn't necessarily call a girl easy or a slut for having sex on the first night. It depends on the situation. If a girl has sex with a guy on the first night, and she does it numerous times with a different guy every time, then she's easy. But sometimes you know what you want, and you make that choice. And sometimes mistakes happen too.

 

[chocolategoddes]

getting down and trying to get it up! hahahaha

I have no real problem with it! just be safe, don't expect any respect from the people who know you did it, and have fun. SEX IS HAPPY TIME. unless its rape or abuse of course!

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

I wouldn't necessarily call a girl easy or a slut for having sex on the first night. It depends on the situation. If a girl has sex with a guy on the first night, and she does it numerous times with a different guy every time, then she's easy. But sometimes you know what you want, and you make that choice. And sometimes mistakes happen too.

To me, a slut (and I know it's chiefly used for women, but I consider some males slutty as well) is someone who sleeps with someone indiscriminately, like not caring if that's the SO of a friend or married person or a friend's parent.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark To me, a slut (and I know it's chiefly used for women, but I consider some males slutty as well) is someone who sleeps with someone indiscriminately, like not caring if that's the SO of a friend or married person or a friend's parent.

lol true. Well I think many different things can make you a slut. Sleeping around, sleeping around with guys at the same time/same night, not knowing who your babies father is because you slept around, not using protection while you sleep around, sleeping with whoever comes around....

I can go on for days lol.

 

[Hilly]

I used to be a makeout bandit in college. Random makeouts was my minor!

I really didn't shack with anyone but my boyfriends at the time. I was hookin up with my college crush once...and it was a lil freaky deaky...and of course his gf comes in and threatens to beat my drunk ass. So with my boobies hanging out, my sorority sisters come in and back me up. Wow...no more random under the clothes deals for me. I didn't know this fool had a gf!

So random makeouts...good for me when I was single. But rarely no one night stands. I don't hate tho...I know sometimes a girl has needs just as a guy can

 

[flowerhead]

why not? doesn't make you a slut if you think it's right.

 

[girlsaidwhat]

To me...there is no rush to get to sex.
If things are right between me and someone, I know it's going to be good regardless. So...I'd rather take my time and get to know someone, make sure they are really interested in getting to know ME, before I'd consider having sex with them.

I'm far from a prude. I just think that every time you have sex with someone you are taking your life into your own hands. Even with protection...you can pick up nasties. You can pick up nasties just from kissing! Anyone who needs any incentive to know well the partners they choose....should absolutely go looking at pictures of people's parts who have contracted diseases, warts, etc (do a search on google!). Pictures of genital warts alone should do it...make you think twice about doing anything with someone you don't know under the cover of darkness.

That's a terrible thing to have to live with for the rest of your life. AIDS is worse.

 

[FullWroth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes just be safe, don't expect any respect from the people who know you did it, and have fun. SEX IS HAPPY TIME. unless its rape or abuse of course!

Explain the bolded statement please?

 

[gigglegirl]

my interpretation of the bolded statement would be that people who you told or who found out you had sex on the first date would frown upon you and not have respect for you doing that so quickly.

now my opinion:
I think everyone's situation and relationship with the other person is different (perhaps the talking on the phone a lot before meeting in person). And I think whatever you feel comfortable with and don't regret it later, then it's all up to you. Do what you want, when you want to and are ready for any possible repercussions of those who hear about it. Just remember those people are on the outside looking in and may be quick to judge.

Though I try not to live my life worrying about what others think (sometimes it does creep in there) I personally probably wouldn't do this, I'd want to get to know someone more first.

 

[Beauty Mark]

While I do not hold this opinion, we live in a world of double standards and women still are frowned upon for sleeping with someone on the first date.