Has anyone had to deal with this?!!!!!!! What should I do?

[bbtorres]

Well I really need some advice on what to do here, my sister in law is my best friend and my husband is too, but I have always noticed that she walks over him. She always expects him to do things for her and if he doesnt she yells at him. For example a couple days ago she was going to fill up the tank since she had used the truck that day, well we get to the gas station and she gets down and then looks at my husband and yells his name and commands him to pump the gas.
I couldnt believe that my husband didnt even notice how disrespectful she was to him and to me. Well I confronted him on why he always is her doormat. He doesnt put up with that with anyone else except her. I really dont understand.
I am so upset with her because he already is a gentleman and has always taken care of her when she was younger but hes married now and I think shouldnt have to put up with her stupid request e.i. park her car!
Okay if anyone has dealt with this before please give me some advice.
He says hes going to talk to her about it but I feel like I have to tell her that it hurts me and pisses me off too. What do you all think?

 

[xStarryEyedX]

well, i'm not married so i can't say that i understand 100% where your coming from... but to be honest with you, if he doesn't seem to mind it- as much as it might bother you and seem ridiculous (which it does).. i guess just leave it alone.
i'm not saying it's normal the way she yells at him, and i'm not saying your wrong for letting it bother you. but saying anything to her could mess up your friendship, and forcing him to say something if he doesn't find it necessary could piss him off. just maybe ask him if it bothers him and take it from there.
my boyfriend is kind of the same way with his sisters and i think it's because he was raised to take care of them since he's the guy. sometimes it's really annoying (example, last week he had to bust his ass shoveling the drive way and taking ice off all his family's cars before he went to work and she just sat on the couch watching tv for the whole day).. i told him if it really bothers him to say something but it's just how they were raised.

*haha, we both used the same little smiley dude*

 

[MissResha]

aw man. thats a hard pill to swallow. if she's your BF, talk to her. men are usually nonchalant about that kinda stuff.

 

[bbtorres]

Thank you xstarryeyedX I feel that way as well. I am defenitely gonna give it a lot of consideration. What your boyfriends sister did sounds exactly like my sis in law. They should probably get together! lol
that little smiley dude is the best representation of how I feel! lol

 

[xStarryEyedX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbtorres Thank you xstarryeyedX I feel that way as well. I am defenitely gonna give it a lot of consideration. What your boyfriends sister did sounds exactly like my sis in law. They should probably get together! lol that little smiley dude is the best representation of how I feel! lol

haha yeah thats how he is with both of them, i feel bad for him... but i think that's why he's such a good boyfriend is cause he was raised to take care of them..

i hope everything works out =)

 

[chiquilla_loca]

wow, your bf doesn't mind getting treated badly by his sister...?...
how old is she? immature most likely...
and doesn't have any respect for her own blood.
he's being a good brother to her but what she does is abusive! because she can nicely ask for help and her brother will do it. she's got to consider that her brother is a married man and his wife (you) is priority now. talk to her in private and let her know how you feel and maybe she'll see that her behavior is not acceptable. it seems like you 3 spend time together, and if you talk about it, your time together will be much more enjoyable.
hope this advice helps.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

If someone was disrespecting my husband like that, I would speak up, I don't care who it is. I do the same for others that I love and respect. I respect him and I show him, so I just wouldn't tolerate someone acting toward my king like that.

I would probably talk to him about it, see how he feels, and gage whether or not he would resolve it himself. I would just let it ride out and address it the next time it becomes an issue. It's like a child, you don't reprimand or punish a child a long time after the incident; they won't see where they went wrong. The next time you see her disrespecting him, pull her aside right then and there. Since you have a good relationship with her, I think you should just tell her that you care about her a lot and that you know she's a sweet person, but that you really dislike the way she talks to your husband = HER BROTHER, WHO DOES A LOT FOR HER!

 

[bbtorres]

thanks so much girls it really is nice to have some advice on this

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissResha aw man. thats a hard pill to swallow. if she's your BF, talk to her. men are usually nonchalant about that kinda stuff.

Resha where the hell have u been?

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

This is a tough one. I have 5 older brothers. They are very protective and would do anything for me. Sometimes, there GF's get very jealous of this. I am mexican and that is the way were raised. They do anything I say for me and my kids. The difference is, I dont ever disrespect my bros tho or talk down to them. If one of their gf's started bossing my bros around, we would have some serious issues. I would have a talk with her and tell her to chill and respect him. She should understand.

 

[MaskedBeauty]

I agree with starryeyed. It obviously doesn't bug him that much to confront her about it ya know? And some people just take advantage of nice people. It's sad but what can ya do if the person doesn't care?

 

[Meisje]

I wouldn't seriously address this unless it starts to have consequences for you or your husband. Even then --- it's HIS place to discuss this with her, not yours.

Siblings can have odd relationships sometimes and getting in between them like that, even if you think it's for your husband's own good, could potentially cause family fallout and make everyone miserable.

If it gets to the point where it causes issues between you and your husband, if he's abandoning you when you need him because his sister is making demands on him, or if it surpasses average sibling bossiness to actual humiliation --- then you should encourage him to talk to her about this. But what you described just sounds like siblings being siblings to me.