Hey, sooo what should I do?

[xStarryEyedX]

Thoughts and opinions por favor....

Okay so. My boyfriend and I have been together about 3 and a half months. He's pretty much amazing. I (obviously) really want to impress his parents, they're different than the type of people I'm used to being around. I'm used to people who are very outgoing etc... His parents are very, I don't know... It feels like it took a lot to make them like me. Anyway, his younger brother's girlfriend (him and her are 19, my boyfriend and I are 23) is talking shit to them about me.

It was his youngest brother's grad. party on Saturday... Jason and I were sitting at a table talking with his Aunt/Uncle.. Then all the other younger kids (17-19) sat by us and the aunt/uncle left. They were talking about music, and I guess stuff normal 17 to 19 year olds talk about.. So I said something to Jason about how I felt old and I wasn't used to hanging out with a younger crowd as a joke.... Apparently she went around telling his entire family that I'm a snob and that I said they're not my type of people etc....

And apparently his father is believing it... Despite the fact that on multiple occasions Jason has told me that he doesn't approve of her dating his son etc.... His mother, once she heard my side of the story, was basically like "Oh, okay well now it makes sense this is stupid"...

I told Jason I'm expecting an apology, but I want her to go to his parents and clear up what was actually said and tell them that she was being dramatic. Don't try to make me look bad in front of his parents dude, I don't deal with this shit....

So, I don't care about her opinion of me- but what do I do about the family? Because now I just feel awkward.

I typed this really fast, I know it probably doesn't even make sense.. I just needed to get it out. I've never had anything like this happen. I've been nothing but nice to her ( I offered here a whole shitload of my clothes from Abercrombie because they don't fit me anymore and have tried to make chit chat with her)... She does come accross as QUITE trashy, but I've never said that or done anything to make her pull this shit. Help?

 

[Shimmer]

Just carry yourself with class.

 

[xStarryEyedX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Just carry yourself with class.

I'm trying

. I just want his parents to like me.

 

[Shimmer]

You can't MAKE anyone like you.
All you can do is be the best you possible.
After that, it's out of your control.

 

[Mabelle]

just let it be.
The mother sees what has happened, and soon enough the father will too. Eithe rbecause his wife and son have explained it to him, or he will just observe that you are a sweet girl who is kind to the people around you and most importantly his son, and this other girl is a bratty and trashy.

just watch what you say around her. i would try to avoid talking to her at all without being cold. how long have they been together?

 

[LMD84]

honestly i would just continue to act the way you are and be polite. just let it go and move forward. at the end of the day if the mum knows what actually happened it'll be the other girlfriend that comes across as a cow and not you.

and like Shimmer said- you can't make anybody like you. my MIL hates me for some unknown reason. but i just get on with it. be polite and be thankful that i don't have to see her that often!

 

[Meisje]

Don't engage in any drama. It will snowball.

You've made your explanation, now it's up to them to choose to act like adults. Hopefully they will.

I personally know how frustrating it is to have someone on the "inside" of your SO's family go around spreading BS about you. But aside from clearing it up, all you can do is hope that the rest of them are reasonable and mature. They might not be, and there's nothing to be done if they aren't.

 

[xStarryEyedX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle just let it be. The mother sees what has happened, and soon enough the father will too. Eithe rbecause his wife and son have explained it to him, or he will just observe that you are a sweet girl who is kind to the people around you and most importantly his son, and this other girl is a bratty and trashy. just watch what you say around her. i would try to avoid talking to her at all without being cold. how long have they been together?

I think 4 months. They're each others first significant others. Which sort of explains why Jason's brother is being SO defensive, but really... I was around him alllllllll day Sunday- would have been nice if he had the balls to approach me about this then.

 

[xStarryEyedX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMD84 honestly i would just continue to act the way you are and be polite. just let it go and move forward. at the end of the day if the mum knows what actually happened it'll be the other girlfriend that comes across as a cow and not you. and like Shimmer said- you can't make anybody like you. my MIL hates me for some unknown reason. but i just get on with it. be polite and be thankful that i don't have to see her that often!

Like a cow, lol.. I enjoyed that. It's not that I'm acting any differently to make her like me- I think she was a little weirded out with HOW we met, so it took her a while to realize that it' the real deal ( theoretically, we met online. I was actually trying to bust somebody else posting online personal ads- found his- and went out on a limb to say hey. The rest was history lol)... I think the online thing weirded her out, but once she realized i was normal she was friendly as hell... I just don't want her to go back to being cautious.

Thanks for your response, it made me smile.

 

[Meisje]

It's not that unusual for one significant other of a family member to try to make another sibling's significant other look bad. It's so lame, though. It happens because girls like that are insecure and they either don't understand that there's room for all of you, or she is just hell-bent on being the favorite. My BIL's ex spread some pretty ridiculous rumours about me, and the only reason I can think of is that he wouldn't marry her, whereas my husband and I have been married for years. She seemed jealous that her spot in the family wasn't "official," so she decided to make my life hell. My relationship with my inlaws has never fully recovered.

Girls like that deserve a kick in the cunt.

(Edit: just so we're clear, I'm not endorsing actually kicking her anywhere, especially there)

 

[Lauren1981]

well the only ppl you should be worried about is your boyfriend and his parents. unfortunately his parents sound a little easily influenced and that's bad.... especially being influenced by their son's girlfriend (i'm talking about the other girl not you) so i think the most you can do is just explain to his parents that for whatever reason you don't get along with his brother's girlfriend/she doesn't like you and for them to please give you the opportunity to explain your side of things if she comes to them with some bullshit. you say you have never had to deal with things like this and trust me it won't be your last you'll just learn and know how to handle these situations and ppl like this better in the future.

but to your defense, i understand the frustration just don't this chick bring you down to her level

hope that helps

 

[xStarryEyedX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meisje It's not that unusual for one significant other of a family member to try to make another sibling's significant other look bad. It's so lame, though. It happens because girls like that are insecure and they either don't understand that there's room for all of you, or she is just hell-bent on being the favorite. My BIL's ex spread some pretty ridiculous rumours about me, and the only reason I can think of is that he wouldn't marry her, whereas my husband and I have been married for years. She seemed jealous that her spot in the family wasn't "official," so she decided to make my life hell. My relationship with my inlaws has never fully recovered. Girls like that deserve a kick in the cunt. (Edit: just so we're clear, I'm not endorsing actually kicking her anywhere, especially there)

Hahahah, I love it! I said the exact same thing to my boyfriend except I used the word "cooter".


A mini update, I sent her a long ass facebook msg explaining what I said, how it was intended, next time come talk to me instead of the whole family, etc. It was firm, but nothing that if she printed it out and showed his parents I'd get in trouble. Ya know? She is now trying to act like she didn't have a huge problem with me, and the issue is with my boyfriend? Chick's got issues. Whatever.

 

[xStarryEyedX]

you guys, i seriously want to punch this chick in the face- and frankly if it wasn't for her being connected to my bf's family i would have by now. SHE WON'T STOP THIS BULLSHIT... and i finally caved and was like Jason ask your mother to tell her to stop I'm done with this she's just trying to pick a fight now.. and her mom won't get involved... I didn't ask to get involved either, but she won't listen to anyone unless it is one of their parents... THis is RETARTED

 

[kaliraksha]

I would just get closer to his parents so they can see an authentic version of you and soon what she says about you will just hit deaf ears and make her look childish.

 

[jackytheripper]

I think it's in peoples nature to be catty sometimes. Hopefully you've calmed down since writing this and taken a step back. It doesn't seem like the type of situation that would ever make your SO break up with you, so you'll be alright. SO's parents are always weird! They're from a different background and most of the time doesn't even share the same values and opinions that you do. Take a step back and work of you and your BF. You making him happy will have the biggest effect on the family liking you.