how do i get that feeling back?

[kimmy]

i used to feel like my boyfriend loved me, you know...i knew he did, but more importantly i FELT like he did.

but, there's been some pretty big issues to overcome and a couple bad fights/arguments and i just don't really feel like he loves me anymore. he says he does, and he shows it now...but i just don't really feellike he does. i don't want it to be like this, what should i do? is there any way i can make myself feel that again or do i just wait it out and see if it comes back on its own?

 

[Jaim]

I'm in the same boat, sort of like the honeymoon is over. We live together so there's no time to miss each other and we're probably taking each other for granted. I hate it!

I can't really offer a lot of advice, but it would be wise to talk to him about it (I'm shy so I wrote a little note to my boyfriend, ahah) and see if there is anything you can do to get the excitement and the affection back.

I always see people who are holding hands and hugging all the time and I miss that! It makes me feel like he's bored of me, and he says he's not!

I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you. You could be the one to initiate things too. If it's the feeling of butterflies in your stomach you used to get when you were with him that you miss, try to do things that will bring them back.

I suck at advice... haha. So best of luck!

 

[stacey]

The biggest thing would be is to actually sit down and talk to him about how you feel. Get it all out on the table. Believe me, ever since I had my 2nd son w/ my husband (or actually since I was preggo w/ my 2nd son) it's been a uphill battle. A lot of arguments and fights, it's not easy. In your situation, or course, you don't want to give up. Talk to him, that's the easiest. Set aside a weekend to just be together, you and him, away from everyone else.

 

[queenofdisaster]

i know my husband and i both had started to feel that way, but it was just that we were still adjusting to eachother. sometimes adjusting can take a loooong time. you two really need to sit down and talk about it. don't hold anything back. my husband and i have serious heart to heart conversations at least once a week, and now i don't think i've ever felt MORE love than i feel now... but i hope you work things out and i wish you the best!

 

[Shimmer]

You just sit down and talk together. About things serious adn things trivial. :/

 

[LisaR]

What Shimmer said is so true! Communication is the key. Listening and really hearing what is being said is another key issue. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. We've had stressful times (parents deaths, grown siblings that we loved but could no longer support, aging mid-90 grand parents, major health issues of our own). We begin to anticipate one anothers wants, needs, feelings, thoughts and what we've found is that often we're wrong when we try to figure out the other one. I felt distant from him - he from me and before we knew it, the only thing we had in common was that we both felt alone within the relationship.

Still loving each other we sought some help from a therapist in learning how to communicate through the stress. Not only did it help us to "hear" one another again but it also helped to prioritize and limit what outside stressors that we could.

Would counseling be an option for ya'll? If not, then try communicate your feelings and listening to the responses you give one another. You don't have to "guess" if the feeling will come back. Tell him you're losing it and you want it to come back. Hopefully, he'll appreciate your honesty and hear you. Good luck!

 

[angeldust]

lmfao...im such a dude...i was just gonna say bone alot.

same shit is happening to me girl, i feel horrible about it. i was thinking about this the other day, and how we fight so much now and stuff. and i realized that it was because i was busy going to college and cosmetology school at the same time and i really didn't have time for him so i missed him a lot. now i get to see him all the time since i live with him so i'm just like bleh.. maybe he just needs to gtfa from me for a little while so then lovey feelings come back. i mean i love him, i'm just not obsessed with him like i used to be. hope everything works out for you and if you figure it out LET ME KNOW !!