How do you feel about your Family in law??

gracetre123

Well-known member
I don´t know how to start this thread, I just need to tell this to someone....

I can´t handle anymore...I don´t fit in there...and I think this is started to cause troubles in my marrige..I don´t know why...there´re are good people...but I don´t feel comforable with them,...you know..I can´t be myself...and belive me I tried to be nice and all that...but I can´t pretend that everything it´s ok if it´s not...

They are very religius people...and when I said very I mean VERY..and I´m not!!! so maybe you can imagine the conversations all the time!!!!!!!!!they make me feel like I´m a bad person or that I´m going to hell o something...

Right know I have a package waiting for me in their home...(all MAC)
and I just dont want to pick it up b´cos my mother in law it´s going to ask me how much I spend...and when I will say mmm like 185 dlls...I dont want even imagine that moment...she thinks that all this makeup it´s very expensive...I remember a funny moment...we were shopping once (long time ago) and she said...Oh I wanted and eyeshadow and I went to the E Lauder counter...but OMG 17.50 for two colors...no way thats a lot of money...and I was like...really 17.50 for a duo...?? where's that counter??

i know that all of this situation it´s hard to my husband, he´s great and I love him...but like I said I can´t pretend...and I feel really angry b´cos we don´t have any troubles about ourselves..but we are in the middle of this for others...

I know that maybe this is not a big deal for you guys...but I´m just really angry and sad...and I needed to tell this to someone...

thanks...
 

macface

Well-known member
I know exactly how you feel and what your going through.I also feel weird around them because me and my boyfriend who I live with had our ups and downs and they always thought I was the bad one because I defend myself and they are very very old fashion especially the mom she thinks I need to put up with whatever.My mother in law is very religious and noisy with everything.I can't stand my sister in law for nothing in this world.I haven't
been to my mothers in laws house like about 6 months straight because I feel weird around them. I try to like them but I just can't.Don't worry I don't think we are the only ones the feel like this .
 

gracetre123

Well-known member
Oh hon...you just described my life!

Does your boyfriend knows exactly how you feel?? I told my DH how I feel last night...and he doesn´t said anything and pretend that´s nothing happend....and I was like WTH?? you need to tell me something...I need your support here!! but I think he prefers his family.....sad..isnt??
 

dmenchi

Well-known member
oh girl, i feel your pain, my MIL moved in with us in May. and it was upposed to be for a short time ,only!
my Bh and i have a great relationship ,but she is the reason we argue almost daily now!!! He's so soft on her, i have to listen to him complain about everything and when i say something i'm 'the bit**'....
frist she doesn't help with anything, then all her money is spend on zigarettes --eww and when i told her she could live with us the maximum cats allowed are 2. since she lived here i spend probably five trips taking her cat babies to the pet shelter. this is animal abuse in my eyes! if she really loved her cat wouldn't she get it fixed? and to top that off she wants to keep soe from every litter! we have two + acres of property, she sitts excactly infront of out door everyday all day- when i wake up, go to work, come back go to sleep. And to top this off she constantly asks us for money-oh, i told her to stop this and that it makes us not like her,but she can't stop. I really hate it, and my Bh has a brother-why can't she just move in with him??? do you know how many times we helperd her move FIVE times in 6 years!!!! and now she has sooo much stuff , because she's such a packrat ,she needs to keep everything!!! all her parents old stuff, now all her dead boyfriend's stuff ..i mean seriously how can you not hate somebody like this. everythime my Bh get into an argumnet she's right there in front of our door listening and then storming in taking his side. When my grandfather died i was so upset that i couldn't go and see him (he's in germany) and my Bh didn't seem to care, she overheard our argument and came in said: We don't care who died, leave my son alone! what a f**** bitch & i really tried to help her...
 

dmenchi

Well-known member
sorry for this rant, there is soooo much more. I wish she would just...move out!!! it seeems like she's not going anywhere! I know it sounds mean .but you guys just can't imagine what i've been trugh with her , she is so psycho!!!
 

user79

Well-known member
I love my in-law family...well I'm not even married but I call my bf's family that because we've been together for 8 years. I get on so well with his mother and even his aunts and grandparents. I like his family better than my own extended family!!

That sucks you are feeling like an outcast.
ssad.gif
 

macface

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by gracetre123
Oh hon...you just described my life!

Does your boyfriend knows exactly how you feel?? I told my DH how I feel last night...and he doesn´t said anything and pretend that´s nothing happend....and I was like WTH?? you need to tell me something...I need your support here!! but I think he prefers his family.....sad..isnt??


We have argue about the situation and I always tells him that I feel this way and his respond to me is I can't tell my family how be and what to do.He doesn't care.My sister always tells me hes always going to prefer his family no matter what.
thmbdn.gif
 

MxAxC-_ATTACK

Well-known member
I get along with my boyfriend (of 6 years) family pretty well. EXCEPT his Mother. we butt heads like 2 angry deer. I've only actually yelled at her once though, (when she pushed my dog, NO ONE touches my dog in a mean way)

other times I say nothing , usually go home and cry about it. Shes extremely judgmental, and has said hurtful things to me on more than one occasion.

I know what its like to feel extremely awkward around the Fam-in-law. I used to feel VERY uncomfortable, I had to watch everything I Said,Did,ate,watched,looked at.. uughh It was awful, things are better now though.
 

karen diggins

Active member
I have great in-laws. Ny husband is the youngest of 6 kids. Lots of cousins for my son to play with. I do have issues with one of my sisters in law. She moved in with my husband and I and started stealing our stuff. She stole a whole bunch of my mac makeup.. She lied to my face and ended call the cops saying that my husband was beating me. Which was not true. We kicked her out.. What does she do after we kick her out. She tells my mother in law lies. What a mess!
 

.k.

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen diggins
I have great in-laws. Ny husband is the youngest of 6 kids. Lots of cousins for my son to play with. I do have issues with one of my sisters in law. She moved in with my husband and I and started stealing our stuff. She stole a whole bunch of my mac makeup.. She lied to my face and ended call the cops saying that my husband was beating me. Which was not true. We kicked her out.. What does she do after we kick her out. She tells my mother in law lies. What a mess!

OMG! what a FudgIng IngRate!!!!! after you took her in?! what a slap in the face!
 

gracetre123

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmenchi
oh girl, i feel your pain, my MIL moved in with us in May. and it was upposed to be for a short time ,only!
my Bh and i have a great relationship ,but she is the reason we argue almost daily now!!! He's so soft on her, i have to listen to him complain about everything and when i say something i'm 'the bit**'....
frist she doesn't help with anything, then all her money is spend on zigarettes --eww and when i told her she could live with us the maximum cats allowed are 2. since she lived here i spend probably five trips taking her cat babies to the pet shelter. this is animal abuse in my eyes! if she really loved her cat wouldn't she get it fixed? and to top that off she wants to keep soe from every litter! we have two + acres of property, she sitts excactly infront of out door everyday all day- when i wake up, go to work, come back go to sleep. And to top this off she constantly asks us for money-oh, i told her to stop this and that it makes us not like her,but she can't stop. I really hate it, and my Bh has a brother-why can't she just move in with him??? do you know how many times we helperd her move FIVE times in 6 years!!!! and now she has sooo much stuff , because she's such a packrat ,she needs to keep everything!!! all her parents old stuff, now all her dead boyfriend's stuff ..i mean seriously how can you not hate somebody like this. everythime my Bh get into an argumnet she's right there in front of our door listening and then storming in taking his side. When my grandfather died i was so upset that i couldn't go and see him (he's in germany) and my Bh didn't seem to care, she overheard our argument and came in said: We don't care who died, leave my son alone! what a f**** bitch & i really tried to help her...



You really need that lady out of your home...honey...she´s a real crazy psyco bitch!!!!
 

dmenchi

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmenchi
oh girl, i feel your pain, my MIL moved in with us in May. and it was upposed to be for a short time ,only!
my Bh and i have a great relationship ,but she is the reason we argue almost daily now!!! He's so soft on her, i have to listen to him complain about everything and when i say something i'm 'the bit**'....
frist she doesn't help with anything, then all her money is spend on zigarettes --eww and when i told her she could live with us the maximum cats allowed are 2. since she lived here i spend probably five trips taking her cat babies to the pet shelter. this is animal abuse in my eyes! if she really loved her cat wouldn't she get it fixed? and to top that off she wants to keep soe from every litter! we have two + acres of property, she sitts excactly infront of out door everyday all day- when i wake up, go to work, come back go to sleep. And to top this off she constantly asks us for money-oh, i told her to stop this and that it makes us not like her,but she can't stop. I really hate it, and my Bh has a brother-why can't she just move in with him??? do you know how many times we helperd her move FIVE times in 6 years!!!! and now she has sooo much stuff , because she's such a packrat ,she needs to keep everything!!! all her parents old stuff, now all her dead boyfriend's stuff ..i mean seriously how can you not hate somebody like this. everythime my Bh get into an argumnet she's right there in front of our door listening and then storming in taking his side. When my grandfather died i was so upset that i couldn't go and see him (he's in germany) and my Bh didn't seem to care, she overheard our argument and came in said: We don't care who died, leave my son alone! what a f**** bitch & i really tried to help her...



KICK HER OUT!! this sounds sooo horrible...i think i'd kill myself if i had to live w/ my in laws! i love them, but a visit twice a month is really enough LOL
 

MAC_Whore

Well-known member
My DH's father and step-mom are good people. We have a good relationship.

My DH's mother and step-father, that's a whole different story. His mother is all sorts of a handful. Narcissistic, loves drama, loves to dish out guilt trips, and just overall uber needy and insecure. She has something shitty to say about everyone. We have no time in our lives for that. We haven't talked to them in years and it was one of the best things we ever did.
 

jenii

Well-known member
I know how you feel, hon.

My in-laws are good people. We just have nothing in common. They do take issue with how we live our lives, etc., but I don't dislike them for it. There's always gonna be someone who doesn't like the way you do things.

I think you should talk to your husband about this, though. He has to stick up for you, because this is obviously putting a strain on your marriage. You've gotta talk to him, and set some definite boundaries for your in-laws. There has to be subjects they can't breach with you, and a limit to how far into your personal life (and your relationship) they're allowed to go. Otherwise, they're gonna drive you crazy, and it could ruin your relationship with your husband.

You have to tell him all these problems you're having, and let him know that you don't dislike his parents, you just need BOUNDARIES, because it sounds like they're all up in your business right now. There needs to be a limit to how much they're allowed to know about your relationship with your husband, and obviously the subject of religion needs to be avoided at all times, because it sounds like when religion is brought up, it only serves to make you feel shitty, and that is NOT okay.

Bottom line, though? Your husband has to stick up for you. Because if he doesn't, you'll stand up for yourself, and they'll get angry at you, which will likely cause a fight between you and your husband.

As for how you spent? If she asks, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HER. Or, since your definition of expensive is different from hers, just say "it wasn't expensive." That's one way to start setting boundaries. Don't tell her how much you spend, because it's none of her business!

I hope my advice will help you some. It sounds like your in-laws are too far into your life, and boundaries need to be set. I think that setting boundaries, and telling your husband that you need him to defend you to his parents when they're out-of-line, will ease a lot of strain for you.
 

gracetre123

Well-known member
Thank you so much for your advise...to all of you!!!

And Jenii...I already tried to talk with him...but he doesn´t listen...he just tell me that it´s my opinion and pretend that everything it´s all right...he doesn´t tell me a word about it!!! this people acts like a perfect family.... and that´s not true at all...

So I have lo learn how pretend to be happy with them...
 

jenii

Well-known member
You deserve respect. And right now? You aren't getting it from your in-laws OR your husband. That has to change.

All I can say is next time they bring up religion, leave the room. Anything to remove yourself from the conversation, thus not allowing them to subject you to their judgmental attitudes. My therapist used to tell me, when I was having problems with attitudes like that, "don't engage." Meaning, if they try to bait you, don't respond. If they try to get under your skin, walk away.

Your husband is damn lucky that you've been putting up with this at all, in my opinion. His parents sound like habitual line-steppers, and he does nothing to discourage that behavior in them.
 

Latest posts

Top