how much is too much?

[neverfadetogray]

i'm supposed to hang out with this guy. he initiated it but never actually made plans, so i didn't bring it up again. then, around two weeks later, he calls me twice after getting my number from my best friend and leaves a really quick message saying who he is. i find the missed calls and message the next day after he calls again (i didn't hear the phone the day before...i'm bad about checking it. ) after listening to his message, i call him and have a really, really awkward conversation which consists of hi, how are you, how's school, he passes the phone to his friend who's with him, and just when his friend is giving the phone back, he either hangs up or my phone cuts out. wanting to be polite just in case my phone DID cut out, i call back and leave a message apologizing for it ("my phone cutting out.")

anyway, after that, since he didn't pick up his phone, i sent him a message saying we should hang out soon. he answers saying we really, really, really should and that we should go to the movies or into DC "next weekend." so the weekend comes and i don't hear anything from him, and finally on sunday i ask if we still have plans or not, because i don't want him to think i don't really want to do anything with him. he says we should hang out "next friday." friday comes and i don't hear anything, but i don't want to be the one asking again for fear of being annoying x] and i decide he might not really want to and decide to forget about it. thennnnn i found out he still wants to hang out and really wishes i would make plans, and thinks i don't want to. well, i suggest monday (today) since we're off school, and the movies. i also mention that i don't want to force him if he doesn't want to. okay, i bet you can guess how that turned out...i never heard anything back from him.

at this point, i don't feel like asking anymore. we may have a tiiiny crush on each other but are both apparently really indecisive, so i guess keep that in mind. :/ i still want to hang out with him and i've tried to make it so that i'm planning it as much as possible, but i need SOME kind of response at least, and like i said, i don't want to annoy him or push too hard. at the same time, i wish he would at least try to make plans if he actually wants to, like he says he does.

so, what do i do now?

 

[Shimmer]

Put down the phone.
Don't text him, call him, IM him, or email him again, until he initiates conversation.

 

[Bernadette]

He's being down-right silly and immature. Even if he were really really shy or insecure you've put forth the effort to make him feel comfortable. I don't get it.
If it were me I probably wouldn't give him a chance again. I kind of think that if you are interested in someone you are and it's that simple. None of this, maybe later, or kind of business allowed.

 

[neverfadetogray]

thanks. :] yeah, that's what i'm planning on. i'm definitely not "clingy" and i've never pushed people when they don't want to do something; in fact, i really hate that. it's just that this is the first situation like this i've run into and he's being confusing...i can't tell whether or not he actually wants to see me. :/

 

[Shimmer]

I'd guess not, and he's trying to let you down gently.

 

[neverfadetogray]

yeah, i guess that could be it. if that's the case, though, then that continuing to bring it up (on his part) after i'd let it go was really stupid and unnecessary.

 

[Shimmer]

:shrug: I can't disagree.

 

[Beauty Mark]

If he contacts you again about spending time together and you actually sort of want to, I'd ask him why he keeps doing this.

I wouldn't contact him again, either, and I don't think I'd spend time with him.

 

[faifai]

He's a flake. And stringing somebody along for several weeks, claiming you would like to hang out "next weekend" without that next weekend ever actually happening, is not letting somebody down "gently." Letting them down gently would be having enough fondness and respect for someone to tell them flat out what's really on your mind, so they're not stuck waiting and wondering like you are now.

If it were me, I'd have given up on the guy long before. Even if they're just friends, male or female, I expect them to at least let me know if they have to cancel, postpone, or otherwise change plans that we thought we'd agreed on. I wouldn't communicate with him again until he initiates. If he doesn't at all, it doesn't really sound like much of a loss.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer until he initiates conversation.

Screw that... Lose his number, and dont answer his calls, and delete his texts...

Guys like this are just keeping girls on a string. They aren't worth it.

Men don't lose the phone numbers of girls they WANT to date, only to suddenly find them a few weeks later. This reeks of, "I got a few girls numbers, called the one i found most attractive first, it didn't work out, so now i'm hoping you'll go out with my loser ass, cuz the other girl dumped me."

If he was really into you, he would have called earlier, and MADE time for you. I dont care how busy a man is, if he's into a girl, he finds a way to take her out, spend time, etc.

 

[neverfadetogray]

thanks for all the responses, i appreciate it. i think the situation has been resolved. :]