Chikky
Well-known member
So, my guy has been away for over a week for vacation and work, so this weekend was the first time I've seen him. We hung out Friday night, and Saturday we did all this stuff I like to do and ate where I wanted to eat.
All great, right?
Then, he starts getting ill. Feeling badly. Fever.
And I feel horrible. Because he's miserable and sick and I... I can't deal with that. At all. I'm TERRIFIED of the 'v' word and any sickness that brings it. Of me, him or ANYone in my family getting it. It brings me to tears and panic attacks. It's a huge phobia. (And, no. It's not something to 'get over'. No more than people who fear needles or death or snakes or things like that can 'get over' it.)
So now I'm feeling badly. I just feel bad that (while I kept it seemingly together, I think) I'm sure he wants someone to take care of him, and I canNOT do it. I can't. I'll already be a nervous, freaking out wreck for the next week or so until the 'able to be infected' time is up. And he won't disinfect his house. Ack!! That drives me nuts. How can I go there?
Anyhow. I'm just feeling sort of like a failure. I feel so bad that I can't make myself go near him. (Though I did see him today briefly.) That I won't be comfortable around him or his house for weeks now. That I'll be terrified to tears for my family and I. That I can't be the caring person I'm sure he wants and needs.
...No wonder I'm not married.
Anyone else deal with anything like this?
All great, right?
Then, he starts getting ill. Feeling badly. Fever.
And I feel horrible. Because he's miserable and sick and I... I can't deal with that. At all. I'm TERRIFIED of the 'v' word and any sickness that brings it. Of me, him or ANYone in my family getting it. It brings me to tears and panic attacks. It's a huge phobia. (And, no. It's not something to 'get over'. No more than people who fear needles or death or snakes or things like that can 'get over' it.)
So now I'm feeling badly. I just feel bad that (while I kept it seemingly together, I think) I'm sure he wants someone to take care of him, and I canNOT do it. I can't. I'll already be a nervous, freaking out wreck for the next week or so until the 'able to be infected' time is up. And he won't disinfect his house. Ack!! That drives me nuts. How can I go there?
Anyhow. I'm just feeling sort of like a failure. I feel so bad that I can't make myself go near him. (Though I did see him today briefly.) That I won't be comfortable around him or his house for weeks now. That I'll be terrified to tears for my family and I. That I can't be the caring person I'm sure he wants and needs.
...No wonder I'm not married.
Anyone else deal with anything like this?