I need honest advice..


Well-known member
Ok, so I may start to ramble, I have been doing that a lot lately lol.

So basically my two cousins and I are all pregnant and due about a month apart. One lives near me and the other is in Tennessee. Well I know it's early, but my MIL & 2 SIL's who live 4 hours away are very busy so I wanted to throw out a couple of dates for the baby shower in March so they would have plenty of time to leave that date open. Well my SIL replied back that she had been talking with another cousin about us doing all our showers together, and I really didn't want to do that. I politely said that since it was our first baby we had wanted to have our own shower, plus my Mom already has ideas turning-this is her first grandchild and she is just over the moon. Well, she then replied that maybe she could talk the cousin into doing the shower on the same weekend b/c it is just so hard for them to come here with their busy schedules- sigh. Well that would really make me look stupid, b/c then everyone would know that I didn't want to have a joint shower, and since they all already have babies I can see where they really wouldn't understand-kind of like they have been there done that. If it was our 2nd I prob wouldn't mind but I want us to have our own moment. It just really makes me upset b/c the two SIL's moved a couple of years ago to the same town with my MIL and since then they have never come down here one time except when a family member passed. We go up there at least once a month and sometimes twice just so we can see them. It hurts my feelings that I ask them for one day which remind you is 4 months away and they seem to have a problem with it. I want to tell her that it's not all about her and her schedule. So please let me know your opinions, I really need some honest advice. TIA!


Well-known member
Maybe it would be best for you to have your own private shower, with your immediate family & friends and then have the larger extended family shower with your cousins. You can always just have a friend send the invites & collect responses & pretend you didn't know anything about the details as far as your extended family is concerned


Well-known member
I agree with PP. See if you can one with close friends and immidiate family and one with extended family. If that wont work. Don't compromise this is your first child you have the right to want your own shower. I put it in the same category as Weddings, bridal showers and wedding showers.


Well-known member
I agree also, have one private and then the joint one. Your right, this is your moment and you should be able to enjoy and plan it the way you want it, not others. Having 2 is a good way to keep peace and get what you need, everone wins