I need your input in this. Thanks ladies!

[LaVixxen]

So let me start off saying my mother in law has been in and out the hospital for about 6 years now. She has emphysema because of smoking a lot in her younger years. Today she felt worse so my fiance called off work and went to go check on her. He told me he was going to call me later so I said okay. Hours and hours pass by and im worried and wanting to know her status. I text his sister and say "Hey how are you guys? How is she feeling right now? So then she text me back saying "shes better and Jerry (my fiance) is trying to feed her some ice chips right now

" So then I said "thats great to hear and tell Jerry im craving some food lol"
(BTW Im pregnant with triplets at the moment so Im hungry and all)

So she took it the wrong way that I 'LOL" in which i didnt mean it in a bad way at all. I know today isnt a day to joke around or even laugh but I was just trying to get them to cheer up a bit.

I really dont know how to handle this kind of situation at all...I dont know If i was at wrong or if shes just overly sensitive. I know their mom is sick and all but she has been sick for 6years now and I didnt think she would react like that just cause I said that. Sorry if i sound cold-hearted im really not its just his sister always tries to make a big deal out of anything I said when Ive been nothing but nice to her. One time I complimented her and said Oh you look very pretty and OH HELL BROKE LOOSE...she asked my fiance if im lesbian because of a compliment???? I dont know what to say or do anymore.

So point blank they are both mad at me.

 

[NutMeg]

On the one hand, I think that with their mom sick you should cut them a lot of slack. They're probably oversensitive right now, because they're worried about her.

On the other hand, Christ woman, you're pregnant with triplets! I don't know how far along you are, but they're lucky you aren't a hysterical, hormonal mess. It wasn't clear from your post who "they" are (your DF and his sister, or his sister and his mom), but either way your DF needs to realise that you are carrying his children and his loyalty has to be to you and them. Sounds like he's got his priorities screwed up.

 

[TISH1124]

I am sure everyone is sensitive right now...

But I do not see where you said anything wrong. I have a SIL that is the same way...No matter what I say she translates it into something else..I say OH you look really pretty today...she says, what, I don't normally look pretty...why did you say TODAY!!! Bitch please...I was really just making conversation...

So I have found the less i say the better.,..so I try to be courteous and that is the end of my conversation to her....Sad but that is the best situation for me.

 

[LaVixxen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg On the one hand, I think that with their mom sick you should cut them a lot of slack. They're probably oversensitive right now, because they're worried about her. On the other hand, Christ woman, you're pregnant with triplets! I don't know how far along you are, but they're lucky you aren't a hysterical, hormonal mess. It wasn't clear from your post who "they" are (your DF and his sister, or his sister and his mom), but either way your DF needs to realise that you are carrying his children and his loyalty has to be to you and them. Sounds like he's got his priorities screwed up.

Yeah thats true. I shouldnt even tried to cheer them up obviously they (his sister n my fiance) not in the mood. Im just wondering why his sister even at any given time always makes a fuss about anything I say. Im guessing she doesnt like me. But ah well.

LOL yeah i recently found out well I knew i was pregnant but not with triplets. On the 28th ill be 3 months. Luckily no morning sickness and im always giggly. Which is very weird everyone tells me. Yeah his priorities are very screwed up everyone tells me but I compromise with him. I just hope it isnt always going to be like this if not then im screwed lol.

 

[LaVixxen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 I am sure everyone is sensitive right now... But I do not see where you said anything wrong. I have a SIL that is the same way...No matter what I say she translates it into something else..I say OH you look really pretty today...she says, what, I don't normally look pretty...why did you say TODAY!!! Bitch please...I was really just making conversation... So I have found the less i say the better.,..so I try to be courteous and that is the end of my conversation to her....Sad but that is the best situation for me.

Thanks Tish. Well, im going to do the same as you because Its probably just the best thing to do. Its sad but ah well.

 

[iadoremac]

i dont think you said or did anything wrong but for the mere fact that they are offended i think you should be the bigger person and apologise just for the sake of it

 

[crystalclear]

It sounds as if your sister in law is exaggerating her upset/annoyance for effect, if shes always on at you having an ill mother means she can get at you for something that really isn't anything (if you see what I mean) and not look like an unpleasant b*tch (although i'm not saying she isnt upset about her mother, just doubt shes that upset about the lol) especially given your condition (not many people would take have a particuarly high opinion of her if she hasseled a pregnant woman, esp if the kids were that persons future neices/nephews). Your fiance really should stick up for you after all you are the one having his kids and any distress and upset is dangerous for both you and them. If neither of them wake up to this, she could find herself in the predicament my aunt has been in for a few years now- her nieces/nephews wont want much to do with her because noone wants to see people use their mother as some sort verbal/emotional scapegoat/punchbag.
Also I noticed you put a smilie in at her response, if she put one in then it is obvious she wasnt upset about the 'lol' and shes at it. I really dont think you need to apologise, as you haven't done anything wrong, she set the tone, SHE should apologise to YOU not the other way about.
Hope this gets sorted for you and your babies sakes.

 

[glassy girl]

Well last year my uncle was dying of cancer and his wife which under normal circumstances is really kool. But she got really offended at my mom 4 being a overly caring sister. But my mom didn't say anything and really understood that the situation just makes u really moody/sensitive/angry ect. I really don't think it's u it's the situation that there family is going thru.

 

[BEA2LS]

it's a tough situation, i would not say his priorities are screwed up though. no offense but i do think that it seems he is being there for you as well as his mom so i see no problem with that.
you did not do anything wrong but i would not take it personally as being a caretaker in any sense of the word is very tiring.

 

[kaliraksha]

To me, she just seems like she's out to find fault in what you say/do... in that situation I would keep it courteous and short. I think you're just doing what you think you would do for a friend, which is try and cheer her up- but she's not so she can't appreciate that.

If my significant others time was split up between his ill mother and the birth of his (first?) child.... it would be really hard on me and I think you are doing a good job by trying to find balance. He needs you both and you both need him, so I would just try to be civil, but don't try any harder than that. His sister might be scared of losing her family soon, might see you as a threat, if his mom passes away maybe she's scared she wont see her brother as much.... hopefully she will come around someday. There are just so many emotions to be sensitive to right now... but I don't think you're saying or doing anything wrong, but if you want it easier, I would just keep it brief, informative and polite.