xStarryEyedX
Well-known member
.....
I really really need help guys.
- Thread starter xStarryEyedX
- Start date
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
It sounds like he really isn't dedicated to getting better. Messing with meds is serious, and it can screw up anyone if they're not careful, ie. talking to doctors constantly.
I think you tell him that you want him to be better not only for you but also for himself. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum then, but if he still isn't working on himself, you should consider cutting your losses now rather than later.
I think you tell him that you want him to be better not only for you but also for himself. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum then, but if he still isn't working on himself, you should consider cutting your losses now rather than later.
shinygolden
Active member
Hey, there. This website and messageboard were very helpful to me when I was dating someone who suffered from depression:
Depression Fallout by Anne Sheffield
It's all about coping with depression in a partner. A lot of the posters on the Depression Fallout messageboard describe their experiences a lot like you just have. I'm sure you love him very much, but the people on the board may help you imagine what it would be like to be with him in the long term, and give you tips on how to help him--and how to keep your own sanity. I do wish you the best, hon.
sg
Depression Fallout by Anne Sheffield
It's all about coping with depression in a partner. A lot of the posters on the Depression Fallout messageboard describe their experiences a lot like you just have. I'm sure you love him very much, but the people on the board may help you imagine what it would be like to be with him in the long term, and give you tips on how to help him--and how to keep your own sanity. I do wish you the best, hon.
sg
xStarryEyedX
Well-known member
Quote:
thank you so much, i just read a quick paragraph on there and was like "holy shit- this is me".
Originally Posted by shinygolden
Hey, there. This website and messageboard were very helpful to me when I was dating someone who suffered from depression: Depression Fallout by Anne Sheffield It's all about coping with depression in a partner. A lot of the posters on the Depression Fallout messageboard describe their experiences a lot like you just have. I'm sure you love him very much, but the people on the board may help you imagine what it would be like to be with him in the long term, and give you tips on how to help him--and how to keep your own sanity. I do wish you the best, hon. sg |
thank you so much, i just read a quick paragraph on there and was like "holy shit- this is me".
xStarryEyedX
Well-known member
Quote:
that's how i felt, it just helps that i'm not the only one thinking it's that way.
| Originally Posted by Beauty Mark
It sounds like he really isn't dedicated to getting better. Messing with meds is serious, and it can screw up anyone if they're not careful, ie. talking to doctors constantly. I think you tell him that you want him to be better not only for you but also for himself. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum then, but if he still isn't working on himself, you should consider cutting your losses now rather than later. |
that's how i felt, it just helps that i'm not the only one thinking it's that way.
sharkbytes
Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear about the tough situation. The sad truth is, he will lash out at you from time to time if he isn't on his meds, and even though you understand that and try to be supportive, it's got to be hard for you to deal with when you're just trying to be helpful. If he stopped his meds cold turkey like that, his body must be in overload trying to cope with the depression in addition to trying to adjust to no longer having the meds. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do other than be there. So many depression sufferers go through a lot of different types of medications and doses before they find the one that works for them. If he's discouraged with the first one, it might be some time before he's ready to try again, and sadly you'll be the one he loses his temper with. I hope everything works out for the both of you.
Malena
Well-known member
I´m sorry to hear about what you´re going thorugh at the moment.
I´ve been there, too, my ex BF is clinically depressed, too. He was a hard drinker (which in his case kept the depressions "under control"), but when he stopped drinking - which I was of course very happy about - things got much worse. He was on ADs, but thought they woudl change him too much, so he stopped taking them & refused to see a doctor since.
He stopped talking almost completely, didn´t want to meet me, didn´t call me & when I did he was like "I`m tired, let´s hang up!" after one minute...
It was so hard to see him change like that & I tried the best I could, but he didn´t want to spend time with me nor did he show any intentions to change his situation.
It made me feel so helpless & sad, but in the end I broke up becuase I didn´t see any chance that things would work out for us. That was a very tough decision, but our relationship wore me out completely
But at least it seems that your BF hasn´t stopped talking to you completely, so there´s still hope!
Hang in there, but if it gets too much for you to take, then you might have to consider leaving him for your own good.
I´ve been there, too, my ex BF is clinically depressed, too. He was a hard drinker (which in his case kept the depressions "under control"), but when he stopped drinking - which I was of course very happy about - things got much worse. He was on ADs, but thought they woudl change him too much, so he stopped taking them & refused to see a doctor since.
He stopped talking almost completely, didn´t want to meet me, didn´t call me & when I did he was like "I`m tired, let´s hang up!" after one minute...
It was so hard to see him change like that & I tried the best I could, but he didn´t want to spend time with me nor did he show any intentions to change his situation.
It made me feel so helpless & sad, but in the end I broke up becuase I didn´t see any chance that things would work out for us. That was a very tough decision, but our relationship wore me out completely
But at least it seems that your BF hasn´t stopped talking to you completely, so there´s still hope!
Hang in there, but if it gets too much for you to take, then you might have to consider leaving him for your own good.
abbyquack
Well-known member
Sorry to hear about that, I am sure it's very difficult.
Well remember when Britney Spears was crazy (not to say your BF is literally crazy like she was don't worry!)? Like going out every night and just doing whacked out things? Everyone was like, where's the family, why aren't they helping her and getting her treatment? The truth was, they were doing everything they could, but you can't force someone to get help, they have to be willing to do it themselves, and that's the same case for him, albeit on a much smaller scale. He has to choose to be on the drugs, which is difficult to persuade especially with his current state of mind, so obviously you can't blame him for being difficult about it. There are a lot of great resources, such as the site mentioned above, and I particularly think a professional psychologist or psychiatrist will be your best place for help, as they are trained in this type of thing. I do hope things look up for you and him, and I find it very wonderful that you are as dedicated to him as you are! Keep it up!
Well remember when Britney Spears was crazy (not to say your BF is literally crazy like she was don't worry!)? Like going out every night and just doing whacked out things? Everyone was like, where's the family, why aren't they helping her and getting her treatment? The truth was, they were doing everything they could, but you can't force someone to get help, they have to be willing to do it themselves, and that's the same case for him, albeit on a much smaller scale. He has to choose to be on the drugs, which is difficult to persuade especially with his current state of mind, so obviously you can't blame him for being difficult about it. There are a lot of great resources, such as the site mentioned above, and I particularly think a professional psychologist or psychiatrist will be your best place for help, as they are trained in this type of thing. I do hope things look up for you and him, and I find it very wonderful that you are as dedicated to him as you are! Keep it up!
laperle
Well-known member
I'm bipolar and it took me quite a while to accept my diagnosis and take the proper medication... And even now I still have problems adjusting the meds.
My ex is clinically depressed and he won't accept that and won't go to therapy and only started taking meds when things got pretty serious. And I have no news from him now, but I think he probably stopped the meds.
So, what I want to say is: it is really hard for everyone. For those who are depressed and those around. If you really want to be with him, if you love him, it's a giving thing. You have to support him by telling stuff like only 30% of the patients get better with the first meds trial. Well, it's hard, 'cos when depression gets you, you stop believing in anything. And I know most depressed men think the meds will alter the way they are, leading them into a fake self.
My ex is clinically depressed and he won't accept that and won't go to therapy and only started taking meds when things got pretty serious. And I have no news from him now, but I think he probably stopped the meds.
So, what I want to say is: it is really hard for everyone. For those who are depressed and those around. If you really want to be with him, if you love him, it's a giving thing. You have to support him by telling stuff like only 30% of the patients get better with the first meds trial. Well, it's hard, 'cos when depression gets you, you stop believing in anything. And I know most depressed men think the meds will alter the way they are, leading them into a fake self.
