I screwed up big time (Venting)

[alysia]

aww crap. I just got my grades back from first year univerisity... and I failed. Everything. F,F,F,F,F. FUCK. Seriously I need to be examined. I KNOW I could have passed those classes easy if I had spent any time on them but no, I slacked off and didn't do dick all. I'm so mad at myself for screwing up so bad. I can't let my mum know and I'm going to be on academic probation next year. FUCK. WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT? I promised myself I'd be better than in highschool, and yet I did no work & never went to class. WTF. Right now I hate myself for being such a slacker. I don't want to be like my dad, I need to focus and stop wasting my time. RAR. And now I have to do first year ALL over again. Without letting my mum know. And now I'm going to have to take another year of Uni to make up for this. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Summer school, here I come

GODDAMNIT.
/self loathing.

 

[Janice]

Well, sometimes we have to go through difficult experiences to grow. You have to work hard to catch up from here, but stay dedicated and keep your goals in mind. I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now.

 

[kimmy]

don't hate yourself.

i know for sure i could get good grades in school, no problem...but just two weeks ago i wasn't sure i was going to graduate because i just wasn't doing well at all in my required classes.

my priorities changed, and i completely lost sight of the fact that i NEED to do this. you just have to make yourself realize that you HAVE to do this stuff, and you have to do it now. try your best to stay on track.

everyone has their academic hiccups, don't feel bad

just try your best to get yourself out of that hole.

good luck!

 

[user79]

You know what, I'm a senior in university right now and I STRONGLY ADVISE you to withdraw from university for the time being. Your heart and mind is obviously not it in at all and you're not ready for this right now. Please consider taking a break and maybe doing something else for a year. Go traveling, get a job and see the world! Then you'll come back more in the mindframe for education. If this is your first year, it will only get worse from here on in.

 

[coachkitten]

I just want to give you a big hug!

I think that you might feel better in the long run if you tell your mom what happened. Yeah she might be mad but you don't want to go at this alone.

I agree with MissChievous about that maybe you should take sometime off to travel and work. Not everyone is ready to go to school right after high school.

I did really bad in school one quarter and I felt awful about it. But for me it was just the kick in the pants I needed to get back on track. I am rooting for you!! Stuff like this happens. This may seem big now but in the long run you will find your way and make it happen!!

Good luck!

 

[Wattage]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous You know what, I'm a senior in university right now and I STRONGLY ADVISE you to withdraw from university for the time being. Your heart and mind is obviously not it in at all and you're not ready for this right now. Please consider taking a break and maybe doing something else for a year. Go traveling, get a job and see the world! Then you'll come back more in the mindframe for education. If this is your first year, it will only get worse from here on in.

I am in the same situation (senior year) and have the exact same advice. Be responsible and don't do further damage. Get out and take some time to think about what you really want to do.

 

[YvetteJeannine]

I'm not sure I agree w/ the other two gals about taking time off school. In fact, I totally oppose those views (politely, of course

). The reason is, MOST OF THE TIME people who do that never end up going back. It happens for various reasons (you end up getting a job, you meet someone w/ different priorities, you just don't feel like going back, etc. etc.). The advice I think you really need is to get yourself buckled down. Hey, it's different if you decide college isn't for you; that's a totally diff. situation....at that point you should leave...but if you WANT TO continue your education, leaving school will be (IMO) a huge mistake. Hey, some people do go back, but from what I've seen (and I've seen a lot of people do this) most don't. You'll have the summer as a break, and you can get yourself 'together' then. You don't really need any more time than that (unless there's dire circumstances like a sick parent or something; which I don't think is the case, is it?). I think you just need to get priorities straight. You're very lucky to be in college...take advantage of it (acedemically I mean, not party-wise

). Do yourself a favor...STAY in school. You just need to learn to manage your time better...that's all...and no amount of a "break" is going to teach you those types of skills. Good luck w/ your descision.

 

[Wattage]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YvetteJeannine I'm not sure I agree w/ the other two gals about taking time off school. In fact, I totally oppose those views (politely, of course ). The reason is, MOST OF THE TIME people who do that never end up going back. It happens for various reasons (you end up getting a job, you meet someone w/ different priorities, you just don't feel like going back, etc. etc.). The advice I think you really need is to get yourself buckled down. Hey, it's different if you decide college isn't for you; that's a totally diff. situation....at that point you should leave...but if you WANT TO continue your education, leaving school will be (IMO) a huge mistake. Hey, some people do go back, but from what I've seen (and I've seen a lot of people do this) most don't. You'll have the summer as a break, and you can get yourself 'together' then. You don't really need any more time than that (unless there's dire circumstances like a sick parent or something; which I don't think is the case, is it?). I think you just need to get priorities straight. You're very lucky to be in college...take advantage of it (acedemically I mean, not party-wise ). Do yourself a favor...STAY in school. You just need to learn to manage your time better...that's all...and no amount of a "break" is going to teach you those types of skills. Good luck w/ your descision.

I understand your concerns about not returning to school, but for someone who has been in the EXACT same situation (to a T), I can say this is definitely NOT the case.

I will embarrassingly admit that at 19, I flunked out in my second year. I was in an English degree program and I hated it. I received 5 (read'em n weep), FIVE Fs. Unless you have ever been in the situation that she is describing, I have to say that you really have no idea what is ideal in this situation.

My two year break from school taught me SO much. I learned how to manage my time better, manage my finances better, everything. In essence - I grew up. I knew exactly what I wanted when I went back. I have mainted a A average for 3 straight years - in sciences!

If you leave school and never go back, you weren't meant to be there. Some people just cannot function in a structured academic environment. There's nothing wrong with that, just a difference in preference.

 

[Lalli]

^^i took a break from college because i had loads going on and just couldnt cope. im back now and in my final year and hoping to go to university to do Law.a break does help

alysia if you go back its going to be on ur mind that you failed and you'l constantly be worried if you have a break and start over fresh it gives u time to reassure yourself that you can do well

 

[Pink_minx]

There are good or bad sides of taking a break from college. I do know that most people take a year off and ends up not going back to school. Its hard I know. But if you really want to stay in school and like you said you didnt want to turn out like your dad you HAVE to get your priorities straight and really focus hard. I dont think you should have a break, just keep on going. move foward and work harder it will only make your bad habits of not going to class and doing work better. Fix the mistakes that you've made and no matter how hard it was, it is all worth it cause getting an education is so so important! Keep your head up and dont quit! best of luck.

 

[bottleblack]

I think there are upsides and downsides to a break and the best course of action will really be up to you in the end - I took a multi-year break. I was completely unfocused and put so much pressure on myself to do well - after a few years in the "real world" I had much more drive to prove to myself that I could do it and really wanted to take it seriously. It sounds bad to say, but watching my peers graduate around me really kicked my butt into gear!

 

[Amymo]

Maybe Uni in the UK is VERY different but this happened to a lot of my friends in first year, getting used to a work life balance, new found freedom and new friends is tough, don't beat yourself up about it and take the probation as a chance to get extra help with the things you have missed. This happened to my BF and he did great in second year, admitted that he had too much fun and was not being honest with himself about the work side of things, just my opinion but these things can be put right.

Hopefully you can explain things to your tutors, if they see that you feel you let yourself down they will respect you and give you any extra help you need. Trust me, take this summer to work if you have a job, and HAVE FUN so that you can get your head down in the next semester, good luck chick.

 

[bebs]

hey girl

I had a really hard time my first year of college and wanted nothing more then to drop out after I got my grades -I go the same grades- but the thing is for me, was that I needed to stay in school to keep on health inc. and in the end I just made my self a promise that I had to pass and do as good as I could, go into every class, no excuses because it is so easy to to make them and your the only person that can make your self go. I did much better this year B avg. and really I know I could do better then that but I'm getting back into it... because as stated above by many others that if you cant make your self go your waisting your time and money and in all honesty killing your gpa so go back when your mind is into it, and you will do better

 

[Iridescence]

Hey hun,

well I have to say that I was in a similar situation where I went into my first year of university and HATED it with a passion. Throughout September and October I started to loser serious amounts of weight and to begin with I am only 125 pounds, 5'5 and a hardcore athlete. I didn't sleep and was just stressed and nervous all the time. I was going through for phys ed and just hated it. Ever since I was 9 years old that is what I wanted to do and I was completely lost and panicking about my future. My grades were slipping, my health deteriorating and overall everyone knew I was unhappy. So thats when I made my decision to take some courses out of my timetable and take a smaller load. After talking about it with friends and my boyfriend...it was my family I needed to talk to....Mom was understanding and just wanted me to stick it out...but my dad? Wellll.....not so understanding. Anyways to make a long story short. I did complete the year but mind you, with low grades. I did get booted from my program but you know what? That is ok...I re-examined what i wanted to do in life and concluded that University wasn't for me. I am now going through to be an optician and going to college next year. I am currently studying before I go for my program, which has given me confidence and also a chance to see the material before I go. It is truly important that you like what you do and find motivation in you're life. Taking a year off may not be the best thing for you if you have a hard time with motivation and or attendance but maybe consider taking some courses a small load at a time...maybe become a part-timer? I know it will take you longer but girl, if you want this in life to complete university? I support you 100% if it takes you longer? WHO CARES! You are completing a goal!

So I was there, and going through the same thing as you throughout the same year...so just know you aren't the only one and things do get better. If you can find happiness in you're life it will help you through hard times.

Keep you're head up and never let anyone tell you you aren't good enough. There are always solution to problems and people to talk with.

Good Luck hun, and remember keep you're head up.

 

[cloverette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YvetteJeannine I'm not sure I agree w/ the other two gals about taking time off school. In fact, I totally oppose those views (politely, of course ). The reason is, MOST OF THE TIME people who do that never end up going back. It happens for various reasons (you end up getting a job, you meet someone w/ different priorities, you just don't feel like going back, etc. etc.). The advice I think you really need is to get yourself buckled down. Hey, it's different if you decide college isn't for you; that's a totally diff. situation....at that point you should leave...but if you WANT TO continue your education, leaving school will be (IMO) a huge mistake. Hey, some people do go back, but from what I've seen (and I've seen a lot of people do this) most don't. You'll have the summer as a break, and you can get yourself 'together' then. You don't really need any more time than that (unless there's dire circumstances like a sick parent or something; which I don't think is the case, is it?). I think you just need to get priorities straight. You're very lucky to be in college...take advantage of it (acedemically I mean, not party-wise ). Do yourself a favor...STAY in school. You just need to learn to manage your time better...that's all...and no amount of a "break" is going to teach you those types of skills. Good luck w/ your descision.

i completely agree with YvetteJeannine. once you're out of the loop, it could be EXTREMELY hard to get back in!
in my teen years i suddenly became very studious (well, my parents forced me to become a nerd); this created a drive in me to become a hard worker. i went to university in the US, & did well (though, i came across difficulties here and there- like everyone else); and after graduation, i did internships etc. for 2 years.
i then decided to do my master's degree in the UK... and being someone who's devoted & studious, let me tell you- i was hardly able to get myself back into the student mode... it was only a one year program, but how often did i want to give up- not because of the difficulty, but because i was out of the loop.

look at it this way: you lived the freshman life to the full & got it out of your system. you failed, you learned from your mistakes, and now you still have the chance to concentrate on doing well in your classes. what's 4 years compared to your whole life? and you'll still have LOTS of fun! it's all about finding the right balance for yourself...

 

[bellaetoile]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous You know what, I'm a senior in university right now and I STRONGLY ADVISE you to withdraw from university for the time being. Your heart and mind is obviously not it in at all and you're not ready for this right now. Please consider taking a break and maybe doing something else for a year. Go traveling, get a job and see the world! Then you'll come back more in the mindframe for education. If this is your first year, it will only get worse from here on in.

i am in total agreement with this as well. i was in a similar situation, doing poorly in my first year at college. i took a break for almost a year and a half, got some real-life working experience under my belt, lived in my own place, and generally grew so much as a person, emotionally, by taking time off. it was the best thing in the world for me to completely switch my focus for a little while, forget about academic learning, and instead concentrate on gaining general knowledge and experience. now, i'm back in classes and doing really well. when you put your mind to something, you definately can acheive it, however, every once in awhile, we all need a break, and a chance to breathe. good luck!

i will say, however, that sometimes it is easier said than done going back to school. if you stay motivated, with clear goals in mind, it is entirely possible, however. i have always said i wanted to become an attorney, and have always had that goal in the front of my mind. my parents knew my dreams, and thankfully, they supported my decision to take time off. for me it worked out very well, and it has worked in amny situations that i have seen, as well. it's also a situation, IMO, that is not completely understood unless you have truly been faced with the decision yourself, and not just observed those around you.

 

[LisaR]

Only YOU can decide whether you need time off from University or not. There are pros and cons to each and they've certainly been outlined here. As you can see, your situation is not unique. The questions you need to ask yourself is why you failed. Do you not like university? Do you like it but...were spending too much time having fun, skipping class, not studying, etc. Are you ready to manage your personal and educational life? What are your priorities right now?

There are no right or wrong answers. Just honest ones. Some students are able to go right back and even make it to the Dean's list while others need time off. Some need to go to school part time and work part time as they ease back into the university system.

I know it feels like a huge giant fuck-up right now but you can use it in your favor if you're pro-active about it instead of reactive. Hopefully, that way it won't set you up for the same scenario in the future.

Good luck