I think my mom is mad at me

[Robby_Raynebow]

Well I got a new job and one of my co-workers mentioned very nicely that I might want to consider getting a bra because the owner is prob planning on saying something. I come into work with makeup and to many I am a girl and to some I am a guy with makeup on. I don't have a prob with getting the bra but my mom wants me to get a sports bra to flatten them, but if I'm going to have to go through the pain of a bra, I'm going to have a chest to go with it.

I am a really heavy 15 yo weighing in around 290-300. I am trying to lose weight and am on a low carb diet, but measurments show I am a 44C.

I told my mom and she was kinda pissed and she said she felt a little sick. I don't think my dad is even talking to me, but I'm not really interested. This is something I want but I understand her point of view. I just don't want our relationship strained over this.

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

i think the best thing to do is to try and talk to your mom. it's good that you want to understand her point of view and that you wanna work things out. that is a good first step. good luck and i wish u the best!

 

[crystalclear]

Parents can be a bit weird about these things, they just don't want to think that their daughter could be wearing a bra that enhances their chest (parents can have a very strange logic a times). Initially, you could say you want want a nice bra that supports properly (not to enhance, you get a nice bra and they don't have a heart attack every time they see you or worry about you when you go out) than after that, if you've got a job and earn your own money you can buy what you want and they will be more used to it. I guess initially compromise is best then take it from there.

 

[Robby_Raynebow]

Crystal clear I should prob tell you I am a guy. Making the situation a lil more diffucult

 

[crystalclear]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robby_Raynebow Crystal clear I should prob tell you I am a guy. Making the situation a lil more diffucult

Ooopss, sorry didn't realise (I did wonder why you'd waited until 15 though and wondered why there was quite as much resistance). I guess it will still be a case of them getting used to you wearing a bra, parents have a tendency to be all annoyed about stuff and get used to it. Compromise initially might still be the key and I hope this works out for you.

 

[Tashona Helena]

^ You do want a bra? I mean, do you have means on getting one by yourself? I don't see why she would be so mad, boy or not, if you're already expressing interest in female things. But then again I totally know where you're coming from because my mom knows about my sexuality and such yet she still back peddles. Maybe you guys can go half way. I mean not ever bra is a push up one, and sports bras are uncomfortable (at least to me, I feel naked...). I would express to her that you'd feel more comfortable with a regular bra, physically and mentally. Parents are weird sometimes. They think if they're buying you certain things they're encouraging certain behaviors. My mom flipped when she found out I had "my first thong" at 13, but then she went with me and bought me some good ones from VS. I think once you express your feelings, atleast you'll put yourself out on the table, but from there it's just gonna take time for her to get used to it. It's good that you're dieting, she should see that as strength, not alot of people have the capacity to stick to a diet, I know I don't! So congrats and good luck

 

[User38]

a bra is just an article of clothing.. nothing good or bad about it.

I am a mom, and as such would accept my son or daughter in any way they were as long as it made them happy

 

[Willa]

Maybe you could try to talk to her and ask her about her feelings about the whole ''guy wearing a bra'' thing. Sometimes, parents just don't know how to deal with things they havent experienced when they were younger.

I know by experience... We, as kids/teenagers often think they've seen it all, know it all, but when you grow older you realize they might have been missing some points/stories/infos... on us.

The most important is how YOU feel.
I wish my mom bought me a bra earlier, I've been overweight all my life and at 11 y/o I had breasts (mostly made of fat), and because I didnt wear a bra earlier, my skin went too soft, too quickly... ¬¬

Maybe you could wear a shaping body suit (without the bottom, can't find the real word right now, sorry [not 100% bilingual]). It could be the best of both worlds, if she doesnt want to buy you a bra.

 

[TISH1124]

I honestly don't know what I would want my son to do in this position....I do know that I would love my boys no matter what their choices in life are... no matter how they live and love whether it be straight, bi-sexual or homosexual...But as a mother if my son was acting as a boy and simply just wearing makeup which is common I would probably suggest a sports bra too..If he was dressing as a girl and wanting to be seen as a girl I would suggest a bra....I mean she is your mother and she probably is only trying to protect you from how cruel others are that are not as understanding and accepting. And on another note....I prefer a sports bra anyway...they do not necessarily flatten your boobs but they do hold them firm in place and they are a hell of a lot more comfortable than fancy ones....Most fancy bras are are good for 2 things...looking at and taking off...I have bought some of the most expensive "sexy" bras and I reach for a sports bra more times than not to wear under clothing just for the comfort factor...I hate bras to be honest!

 

[Boasorte]

I agree with TISH, listen to her she knows her s**t

I think you should justtalkto ur mom as others have said, and get the bra if YOU want.

 

[gildedangel]

Talking to you mom would be the best thing to do. Although I would go for the sports bra first, they are more comfortable for most, plus they get you used to wearing one because they can be uncomfortable! There is always time to go for the fancier one. Plus, if you are planning on losing weight like you stated, the sports bra would be more useful because they are stretchy and will last you longer than if you had to keep buying ones after you continually lose weight.

 

[Skin*Deep]

no matter how pissed, confused, frustrated, embarrassed, scared, or helpless your mom feels about the situation, just remember she will always get over it and she loves you. I'm sure you know that but it's easy to forget when there is a rift. I applaud you for taking her into consideration so much in the midst of a situation that cannot be easy for you. good luck with all of it, I hope it goes as smooth as it can!

 

[Kalico]

Your mom will get over it. Trust me. My parents had to get over a LOT of things. lol

I'm not sure how popular this idea will be, but if you don't want your mom involved (when it comes to what you're wearing underneath your clothes I don't think your mom needs to know it all lol)... are there some other girls you could get some help picking out a bra with? You have a job so you could buy it yourself.

 

[Robby_Raynebow]

Thanks guys for all the help. I talked to my mom and her reasons sounded a lot like what Tish said. (Thanks hun.) I'm going shopping today so Ill try on lots of diff kinds and ill buy what looks and feels best. Again thanks guys.

 

[ForgetRegret]

Hey hun, just as a side question, do you WANT a bra? If you do, that's totally cool, and GL finding one that's comfy and supportive (sometimes they can be elusive...)...if you don't actually want one, though, I don't think that your job can force you into one. I may have a skewed view on this, but in my eyes it would be discrimination. Like I said, if you want one, and you're happy wearing it, then you should do what makes you happy, but if not...don't let them force you to do something that you don't want to.

 

[LMD84]

i'm a big boobed lady (d cups) and i really like sports bras! during Christmas when i have to get down and dirty lifting lots of boxes i wear a sports bra to work all the time! it's so my boobs don't pop out and because it's supportive. so i reccomend a sports bra. plus as others have said, maybe you could buy some fancier bras with a female friend? i used to have certain items of undies when i was younger that my mum didn't know i had - i'd wash and dry them while she was at work.

 

[ForgetRegret]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMD84 i used to have certain items of undies when i was younger that my mum didn't know i had - i'd wash and dry them while she was at work.

Oh you sheisty little minx! LOL I'm totally onboard with that, though, I did the same thing! Hehehe...sometimes you just have to keep some things from mommie dearest...

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForgetRegret Oh you sheisty little minx! LOL I'm totally onboard with that, though, I did the same thing! Hehehe...sometimes you just have to keep some things from mommie dearest...

absolutely!!

 

[Robby_Raynebow]

I actually got one at JC in my size. Me and my girl went shopping and i got one that comfy and makes me look damn good if i may say so myself. hehe