Im in a weird situation! What to do?

[Tinkee-Belle]

Ok.. so I have a weird situation with a boy at work. Hes the bartender and im a waitress there, and we work together a lot and have gotten really close. We've known each other for about a year, maybe a little longer. I've always had a thing for him, and we flirt a lot at work. The thing is, he was sort of seeing another girl at my work (only for a month or so) so I never acted on my feelings (plus im way too shy!) Well this other girl who he was sort of seeing (not actually a relationship) took off for a week with her ex bf so he decided to end it (this was about 6 months ago)

Well since we work together so much he tells me everything and I do the same. Hes hooked up with a lot of girls but he says hes ready for a relationship but can't seem to find the right one. He always talks about how close we are and how he can tell me anything. People always tell me that he has a thing for me because he is always teasing me, but I just laugh it off, even though I was really wishing deep down that it was true.

So hes been off work for a few weeks because he had laser eye surgery, so our first time working together was last night. When he got there he was like "Its so weird Tasha, I had tons of girls texting me the whole time but for some reason I didnt want to see any of them, and I really missed you and our talks." Then he said he had something to tell me, usually when he says that its a story about his latest romp in the sack with a girl from our bar. He wouldnt tell me what it was so I was bugging him all night. Finally he was like "its nothing about me banging some random girl who I dont care about, actually its the complete opposite. I dont want to make things weird between us, but I have a crush on you and I have for a long time." I was totally shock so I said "I dont believe you... you're just trying to get in my pants so you can add me to the list of wiatresses you've slept with." he looked really upset and then told me that he knows ive never had a one night stand (i tell him everything) and that he thinks thats really cool and thats why he likes me. Then he said he was really embarrassed and didnt wanna make thing weird.

So after work last night me and him were just sitting at the bar talking until... like 330 in the morning. I didnt even notice what time it was, we talked for 2 1/2 hours but it felt like 5 minutes. He told me all about his past relationships and how every girl hes liked has fucked him over somehow. Then he told me he wanted to start hanging out, not hooking up but just watching movies and stuff. If you have read some of my other posts you will know that I ended a REALLy bad 2 1/2 year relationship and have been down in the dumps ever since. Well hes the first guy since then thats actually given me butterflies in my tummy and I dont feel like that often at ALL!

So im in an awkward situation.. I dont know if I should persue something with this guy because I work with the girl he was seeing (she still likes him) and 2 of the girls hes had drunken hookups with. I like all these girls too and dont want to start any drama. Hes starting policing school in january and wont be working at the bar much longer, but I would feel guilty hanging out with him. Its not like we could keep it a secret either, he lives with another bartender who is also the managers brother.

Any advice? I am working with him again tonight and dont really know what to do...

 

[blindpassion]

I say, just take it slow and see how it goes
You can never be sure what his intentions are until he proves to you that hes not in it just to get in your pants, you know what I mean?

You two seem to have good chemistry so just go with it, and trust your instincts, if its not feeling right then you shouldn't keep it going, if its feeling good then see where it goes.

and as far as what the other girls think, hopefully they aren't the type of woman to start a fuss over this.

 

[jdechant]

^ Agreed...you guys are just hanging out..its not that big of a deal, plus he knows who you are and you have let him know how you feel (about not jumping in the sack with him) soo....I would hang out! If it goes further down the line, its not your fault...so who the hell cares what those other girls think...but this way, if your careful and just hang out for a while beforehand, you can get a good look at how he balances you and the feelings he has for you compared to "the others" (thats what we will call the drunken hookups) ... good luck!!

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

I just have to say that it takes a LOT of courage to tell a friend you care for them in more then a "just friends" kind of way. So kudos to him for that! Nobody likes rejection!

If you are feeling him, I would go ahead and explore the situation. I think in this situation you just need to worry about how you feel, you don't owe the girls you work with anything but professional courtesy in my opinion. Maybe I'm just a crazy romantic, but I think a shot at having something real with someone is worth taking a whole lot of risk.

 

[FiestyFemme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dahlia_Rayn I just have to say that it takes a LOT of courage to tell a friend you care for them in more then a "just friends" kind of way. So kudos to him for that! Nobody likes rejection! If you are feeling him, I would go ahead and explore the situation. I think in this situation you just need to worry about how you feel, you don't owe the girls you work with anything but professional courtesy in my opinion. Maybe I'm just a crazy romantic, but I think a shot at having something real with someone is worth taking a whole lot of risk.

I'm kind of in a similar situation... wondering whether or not take a chance. It's hard to know, I mean for me, I'm afraid of possibly losing a great friendship.
But then I think what if it did work? It could be the best thing ever.
So sorry to ramble, but I think you should go for it. Trust your instincts, take things slow, and see where things go.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Tinkee-Belle]

Thanks for your responses, girls! I just feel really shady when there are other girls who like him too, but all fairs in love and war.. right? I think I will start hanging out with him and see where it goes... if something else happens I dont know if I should tell the other girls or not. They WILL find out.. theres a lot of gossip that goes on in that place!

Ack I am so bad at this dating thing but thanks for your help! I found out my ex (the crazy one) has another girlfriend and for some reason im really upset about it. Ive been crying all day

So hopefully seeing the new guy at work tonight will make me happier!