Kragey
Well-known member
About 10 minutes ago, I ran downstairs to check the mail. As soon as my older sister saw me heading towards the door, she shouted out, "No letters!"
She's talking about letters from the graduate schools I applied to. I applied to 6 graduate schools--Indiana University of Pennsylvania, Eastern New Mexico University, University of Iowa, Purdue, University of North Dakota, and University of North Texas--and I've only gotten an acceptance back from IUP.
Now, I have been going crazy for the past 6 or 7 months over these applications. I researched schools over the summer and started getting my stuff ready as soon as the semester started. (A lot of my friends thought I was crazy; then when they applied to grad school, they were like, "Man, I should've started when you did, I missed half of my deadlines!"
) I paid for everything myself, so I ended up spending about 2 months' pay on my applications:
$150 to take the GRE.
$40 for 2 extra GRE score reports.
$24 to order my transcripts.
$20 to copy the necessary paperwork.
$285 in application fees.
$35 to send the first batch by certified mail.
$15 for the second batch (some schools lost stuff).
TOTAL: $569
So applying and getting the money to apply was stressful enough.
Now, let me back up a little here and mention my GRE. When I took practice GRE tests, I was getting 520-560 in math (which I expected; math is not my forte), but I was scoring around 640 on the verbal consistently. The thing is, I am a godawful test taker. When I took the actual test, I hit a word I didn't know and began to panic, so I rushed through all of the questions. That killed my score: I got a 550 on the math and a measly 560 on the verbal, 40 points short of my personal goal of "600+ on verbal." My heart was broken and my pride was hurt.
I thought I would be fine with those scores, because they make the cut-off for all of the schools (just barely, though...), but then I started hearing things from other people. First, a friend of mine from the English department said she'd "only scored a 660" on the verbal and that she'd wished she'd done better...but guys, that's the 96%. A few other majors told me the same thing: they'd scored 600+. To add to my devastation, one of the professors who wrote me letters of rec came over and asked about my GRE scores. "I mean, you ONLY scored a 560. That's not that good." He clearly didn't mean it to sound so nasty, because he added, "I just know from reading your papers that you're WAY above a 560," but it broke my heart.
Hence, for about a month after I sent my GRE scores, I was in a minor panic because my scores were so low. Then people began telling me that the GRE scores are just a cut-off and that they pay more attention to the other parts of your application, which soothed me. I got 5 or 6 letters of rec, which is double what most schools asked for, I sent in two completely different essays that everybody loved, my statement of purpose was strong and stated all of my goals, and I'm graduating Cum Laud for my undergrad.
But now, everybody's getting their acceptances and rejections EXCEPT FOR ME. It's driving me absolutely crazy; I check the mail every day and there's never anything there!!! And people are only making it worse by saying, "Oh, you'll get accepted to every one!" I don't think they realize that it DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Because not only is it likely that I was rejected from a couple of schools, but it's likely that the ones that accepted me will not provide a teaching assistantship or tuition waiver so that I can afford to go to their schools. I mean, I'm graduating in May...am I not going to know where the Hell I'm accepted until the end of frackin' April?!
Does all of that make sense? LOL! The gist of it is, graduate school applications have driven me to the brink of insanity. I have no clue where I stand right now.
Okay, I know this has been long, but bear with me, there are a few other things that go in with this.
First of all, my parents are driving me CRAZY about this. I only applied to IUP to make my mom happy, because when she heard about where I wanted to apply, she said, "What, no in-state schools?" and would get all upset. Before you guys think I'm bashing a school, my brother goes to IUP for his undergrad and it's a nice school...but I contacted the school about their English graduate program and spoke to professors about it, and they all confirmed my suspicions that it would not be a good fit for me. Still, I applied to make her happy. (And really, what does it say about your grad program if you send out your acceptance and enrollment materials before the deadline's even up?) And now, every time I mention I'm nervous, she gets all "sly" and says stuff like, "Oh, you may just have to take a bunch of loans out and go to IUP!" I don't want to go to IUP just to make her happy! I want to leave western Pennsylvania! I want to grow up! ARGH!
Then my dad keeps getting on my case about how I applied. I tell him I couldn't afford to retake the GRE and didn't have the free time, he yells at me that he would've paid for it. However, my parents told me to handle graduate school on my own, and I did, including the money aspect, because I'm an adult and the process is long and involved anyway. Last night he was calling me an "elitist" because I said I really don't want to go to IUP, the program's not that great. How is that being elitist?! It's not a good fit for me and to be quite frank, it's not a great program! No school is 100% perfect, okay?!
The last thing that's bothering me is the fear. The fear of leaving a place I've always known and going somewhere brand new, where I know nobody and have no clue where anything is. I mean, my undergrad sucked for the first month or two because I had the worst roommates known to man (but that's another story) and they made my life a living Hell to the point where I almost dropped out. I eventually found friends, and I've done well here, but I'm going to be 22 and in a whole new place with NO ONE. I've been looking up posts about what it's like to live in these places (IE, I Google "What's it like to live in Iowa City?"), and I've checked up on what housing options are available to me, but still. It's goddamn frightening. I don't even know how to drive, but I'm going to have to when I go to graduate school.
My whole point is that I'm just absolutely terrified, mainly because I'm going to a strange new place and because I may not get enough financial aid, but nobody seems to understand. And when they try to comfort me, they just make it worse.
She's talking about letters from the graduate schools I applied to. I applied to 6 graduate schools--Indiana University of Pennsylvania, Eastern New Mexico University, University of Iowa, Purdue, University of North Dakota, and University of North Texas--and I've only gotten an acceptance back from IUP.
Now, I have been going crazy for the past 6 or 7 months over these applications. I researched schools over the summer and started getting my stuff ready as soon as the semester started. (A lot of my friends thought I was crazy; then when they applied to grad school, they were like, "Man, I should've started when you did, I missed half of my deadlines!"
) I paid for everything myself, so I ended up spending about 2 months' pay on my applications:$150 to take the GRE.
$40 for 2 extra GRE score reports.
$24 to order my transcripts.
$20 to copy the necessary paperwork.
$285 in application fees.
$35 to send the first batch by certified mail.
$15 for the second batch (some schools lost stuff).
TOTAL: $569
So applying and getting the money to apply was stressful enough.
Now, let me back up a little here and mention my GRE. When I took practice GRE tests, I was getting 520-560 in math (which I expected; math is not my forte), but I was scoring around 640 on the verbal consistently. The thing is, I am a godawful test taker. When I took the actual test, I hit a word I didn't know and began to panic, so I rushed through all of the questions. That killed my score: I got a 550 on the math and a measly 560 on the verbal, 40 points short of my personal goal of "600+ on verbal." My heart was broken and my pride was hurt.
I thought I would be fine with those scores, because they make the cut-off for all of the schools (just barely, though...), but then I started hearing things from other people. First, a friend of mine from the English department said she'd "only scored a 660" on the verbal and that she'd wished she'd done better...but guys, that's the 96%. A few other majors told me the same thing: they'd scored 600+. To add to my devastation, one of the professors who wrote me letters of rec came over and asked about my GRE scores. "I mean, you ONLY scored a 560. That's not that good." He clearly didn't mean it to sound so nasty, because he added, "I just know from reading your papers that you're WAY above a 560," but it broke my heart.
Hence, for about a month after I sent my GRE scores, I was in a minor panic because my scores were so low. Then people began telling me that the GRE scores are just a cut-off and that they pay more attention to the other parts of your application, which soothed me. I got 5 or 6 letters of rec, which is double what most schools asked for, I sent in two completely different essays that everybody loved, my statement of purpose was strong and stated all of my goals, and I'm graduating Cum Laud for my undergrad.
But now, everybody's getting their acceptances and rejections EXCEPT FOR ME. It's driving me absolutely crazy; I check the mail every day and there's never anything there!!! And people are only making it worse by saying, "Oh, you'll get accepted to every one!" I don't think they realize that it DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. Because not only is it likely that I was rejected from a couple of schools, but it's likely that the ones that accepted me will not provide a teaching assistantship or tuition waiver so that I can afford to go to their schools. I mean, I'm graduating in May...am I not going to know where the Hell I'm accepted until the end of frackin' April?!
Does all of that make sense? LOL! The gist of it is, graduate school applications have driven me to the brink of insanity. I have no clue where I stand right now.
Okay, I know this has been long, but bear with me, there are a few other things that go in with this.
First of all, my parents are driving me CRAZY about this. I only applied to IUP to make my mom happy, because when she heard about where I wanted to apply, she said, "What, no in-state schools?" and would get all upset. Before you guys think I'm bashing a school, my brother goes to IUP for his undergrad and it's a nice school...but I contacted the school about their English graduate program and spoke to professors about it, and they all confirmed my suspicions that it would not be a good fit for me. Still, I applied to make her happy. (And really, what does it say about your grad program if you send out your acceptance and enrollment materials before the deadline's even up?) And now, every time I mention I'm nervous, she gets all "sly" and says stuff like, "Oh, you may just have to take a bunch of loans out and go to IUP!" I don't want to go to IUP just to make her happy! I want to leave western Pennsylvania! I want to grow up! ARGH!
Then my dad keeps getting on my case about how I applied. I tell him I couldn't afford to retake the GRE and didn't have the free time, he yells at me that he would've paid for it. However, my parents told me to handle graduate school on my own, and I did, including the money aspect, because I'm an adult and the process is long and involved anyway. Last night he was calling me an "elitist" because I said I really don't want to go to IUP, the program's not that great. How is that being elitist?! It's not a good fit for me and to be quite frank, it's not a great program! No school is 100% perfect, okay?!
The last thing that's bothering me is the fear. The fear of leaving a place I've always known and going somewhere brand new, where I know nobody and have no clue where anything is. I mean, my undergrad sucked for the first month or two because I had the worst roommates known to man (but that's another story) and they made my life a living Hell to the point where I almost dropped out. I eventually found friends, and I've done well here, but I'm going to be 22 and in a whole new place with NO ONE. I've been looking up posts about what it's like to live in these places (IE, I Google "What's it like to live in Iowa City?"), and I've checked up on what housing options are available to me, but still. It's goddamn frightening. I don't even know how to drive, but I'm going to have to when I go to graduate school.
My whole point is that I'm just absolutely terrified, mainly because I'm going to a strange new place and because I may not get enough financial aid, but nobody seems to understand. And when they try to comfort me, they just make it worse.
