in a room full of people but still alone...

[iio]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenjunsan I actually think that this played a major factor in my divorce. My ex is very much an outgoing person who thrives on being surrounded by people. I am the opposite-I tend to be a loner. In groups I am uncomfortible and usually sit back and watch. I have had the same experience as Willa...I will finally get to know someone and they will say they always thought I was mean/snobby/bitchy because I didn't socialize like my ex. Thankfully, my current BF and I are exactly alike (as I get older I realize that whole opposites attract thing ain't all it cracked up to be) and we enjoy doing things with people we are comfortible around, most times just another couple. We are also completely comfortible to sit in silence doing our own thing for a while.

Im the opposite with this...my ex bf and I didnt have a lot of friends cause he just moved where I live and the very few friends I have made during my last years in Highschool I lost contact with them orthey got married. Soo anyways...I wanted to go places and meet people but he wasnt up to it, he was more of a homebody so I became that way and for three years we hung out together and no one else!

Then I met my recent bf and he likes to be around his family and friends and he has BIG BIG family! and like a handful of close net friends so I was so overwhelmed with that and I am really quiet around them because Im not used to being around so many people and hanging out with them. But i really like it though cause I feel like I exist in this world when people know me. I dont feel as lonely like I used to before. The only thing is that I want to make my own friends but still havent found any cause Im such a quiet person! i need to befriend people who are opposite of me, that will help me come out of my shell!

 

[Divinity]

This is why I never went to Frat parties or house parties in college. I went once and nobody talked to me - I wasn't even there. I still don't do well in big groups, esp. with people I don't know.

 

[KAIA]

I USED to feel like that before, with one EX BF we were living together, but he would be in the living room smoking and waching some random movie , and I would be in my room watching tv ALONE.
I know the feeling, it just really bad.

 

[xsnowwhite]

I certainly do. Things like parties and stuff make me feel this way, even if I am with my friends. Most my friends are very social and outgoing and I'm really shy so I definitely know the feeling.

 

[iio]

Me too...my bf tells me to socialize but everybody at his party has been friends with eachother for EVER like they all grew up with eachother and they talk about their memories and experiences with eachother. Like what am I suppose to say? You know the saddest thing is Im more sociable and comfortable when Im drunk!

 

[xsnowwhite]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iio Me too...my bf tells me to socialize but everybody at his party has been friends with eachother for EVER like they all grew up with eachother and they talk about their memories and experiences with eachother. Like what am I suppose to say? You know the saddest thing is Im more sociable and comfortable when Im drunk!

I totally agree. If there are drinks I go to them before I say anything to anyone, because I feel so awkward otherwise. And I know what you mean, my friends know EVERYONE and they hardly even introduce me it makes things weird.

 

[MadameXK]

I definitely know what you mean. I usually get the, "You're so gorgeous, why don't you have millions of friends?" thing.
Answer: Because being nice yet "beautiful" means people will take advantage of you in many ways, so you have to keep your guard up so you don't get hurt =/
I haven't had a best friend since I was 13, and all my boyfriends haven't treated me nearly like what I deserve.
I definitely, definitely know what it's like to feel alone, even when surrounded by people.

 

[ellienellie]

Yeah, I've felt like that loads of times. It's not nice is it?

For me, I guess it comes down to my low self esteem and low self image.

 

[LMD84]

i feel like this quite often. i think it's down to my low self confidence. plus everyone always says to me that i'm teh fuuny one - i'm not actually funny. people laught AT me because i'm a bit of a bimbo and do and say silly things sometimes. i laugh along but feel so upset inside. i'm actually quite clever - just not clever with things that the majority of people are. plus working with all men is hard. some days i laugh and joke with them but i'm desparate to have a girl to giggle and gossip with

 

[pumpkincat210]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMD84 i feel like this quite often. i think it's down to my low self confidence. plus everyone always says to me that i'm teh fuuny one - i'm not actually funny. people laught AT me because i'm a bit of a bimbo and do and say silly things sometimes. i laugh along but feel so upset inside. i'm actually quite clever - just not clever with things that the majority of people are. plus working with all men is hard. some days i laugh and joke with them but i'm desparate to have a girl to giggle and gossip with

I doubt people are laughing at you, if you are a natural comedian embrace it

It's nice to have people around that make you laugh.

 

[LMD84]

see i don't think i am that funny but i guess maybe i should just roll with it perhaps. but i'd like to be taken seriously too by my friends. which never seems to happen.

 

[V15U4L_3RR0R]

Everyday.

 

[trollydolly]

its been really helpful and interesting to read all of your insights girls. i suppose we all have confidence issues in different aspects of our lives.

 

[seonmi]

The last time I felt that way was on the Fourth of July. I went with my roommates to a baseball game and watching the fireworks afterwards in a stadium full of people, I felt a little homesick and lonely

I miss my mom and my bf so much.

 

[alienman]

whoa. i didn't realize so many of you ppl felt this way. I've been feeling this way since childhood. Even when socializing and talking to others, I often feel detached.

Also, after I started seeing the boyfriend, I've sort of separated myself from the few friends I've made since moving to this town. It's like I can't really relate to anyone.

 

[k.a.t]

Yep, i definitely know this feeling. Even when i'm with the people i love i can feel so distant from them it's horrible. I try hard thought, not to let myself feel this way and to kind of try and put the thought of being lonely away (in a way i guess it's thinking positively) and it does actually help.

It's really down to my low-self confidence and self-esteem. I have what you call an inferiority complex, and it doesn't help that i'm short (i'm 5') because i always feel like people look down on me and just don't take me seriously enough. It's a horrible feeling because when i'm in a big crowd of people (that i know and like) i feel so alone cause everyone else is kind of at the same level but then there's me feeling like i can't speak up or anything, like people don't notice you. I also suffer from social phobia, although it has improved slightly. I'm very intimidated by other people and again, this is linked to my inferiority complex. In a way i guess i kind of feel like eveyone else is better than me

I hope i can overcome all of this though, because these feelings can make you so depressed and i just want to enjoy life without having so many anxieties and stuff.

One word of advice for you all is that when you start feeling so alone you can try to kind of put it past you and just try your best to have fun instead of dwelling on it and making yourself more miserable, because you're only fuelling(sp?) that feeling further. Hope that makes sense lol

 

[melliquor]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi i feel very often, im know im all by myself. Im afraid to feel very attached to people, cause they can leave me I feel good with Mom

I feel exactly like this. I get scared of being attached or getting close to anybody because you just get hurt.

I go through spurts... sometimes I am very lonely and seek out people but other times... I feel crowded and don't want to be around anybody and just want to be alone.

I feel uncomfortable around large groups of people because I am so shy and never know what to say. I think most people think that I am stuck up or a snob but I am not. I am just very quiet until I get to know you and feel comfortable. In order for me to talk to somebody, I have to feel comfortable and not nervous.

 

[miszjenny]

I have a bf and he is quiet too but im more quiet than him. He's got a gazillion friends from high school though and when they have a house party, they all talk about the past and i couldn't relate to anything. so mostly i just sit there listening and looking real bored. He would tell me that he used to be like me who doesn't talk to anyone but he came out of his shell and just went out there talk to random ppl but then again he likes to do small talks... i don't. if i talk to someone i want a conversation...and his friends usually just talk about nonsense things and very racist a lot of times... i'm a talker only if i talk to just one person but once i'm around a lot of ppl i tend to get intimidated. hehehe i try to change that but it's already a habit since birth so i don't think i can still change who i am lol

 

[prettysecrets]

All the time! Not as much as I used to though.

I think its because now I focus more on myself and what makes me happy.

 

[brave_venus]

I always feel that way...all the time. I guess it's because I moved away from home and really all that I have here is my husband.

I always try to keep in mind that things will get better in time.