Interracial relationships

[snkatha]

Hi everyone, would like to know your thoughts on interracial relationships. have you ever been in one? any issues you experienced in your relationship? would you ever be in an interracial relationship? plus, if you are already in an interracial relationship what are the differences you have with your partner and how do they affect your relationship?
I'll start, my fiancee is French and am an african. I have noticed that i got a lot of problems with some family members. fortunately most of my family like him. We have alot of differences me and FH. first of all i've to learn French, his culture is differrent from mine, our views of the world are different. i'm more positive than he is. however, we have a similar sense of humor and religious inclinations.
what about you? what do you think?

 

[sunshine16]

I'm sort of in an interracial relationship, i'm Australian and my boyfriend is half Phillippino however he was born, raised here and speaks English and if you were on the phone to him there's no way you'd pick his background.

Despite all this, we still sometimes get negative reactions from people in the street. We've had people (older Asian people especially) stare at us and shake their heads.

It honestly baffles me that people still have this attitude, especially when other then how he looks he's no different to any other Australian. We often joke that he's more Australian then I am (I hate the beach, meat, beer and all other things which Aussie's are meant to love haha)

However, we do have a slightly different view on gender roles but i'm not sure if his views are more (what i see) as old fashioned because he has older parents or because of his upbrining where the women in his life have always taken care of the majority of the domestics.

Religion is not an issue for us, neither of us are religious at all anyway.

 

[nunu]

http://www.specktra.net/forum/f262/i...opinion-65125/

 

[anita22]

I'm half European/ half Chinese, but was born and raised in New Zealand. My husband is German.

We've never had any comments from people other than that we look like complete opposites - but we have similar personalities so it works

. The only unfortunate thing is that I don't speak any German and my husband's family don't really speak much English, which is a shame as they're all so lovely and I'd really like to be able to have more in-depth conversations with them.
We've never had any "looks" from anyone that I've noticed, I think most people can't even work out what "race" I am to begin with anyway, to even get offended, LOL

 

[TISH1124]

I guess I have no thoughts on it...I have been in both...same race and inter-racial relationships...I think Love is love, people are people...it doesn't matter what race/religion, etc you are...I personally don't give attention or thought to what anyone has to say or thinks about my private life nor who I spend it with. If you see color ...then you will see differences...Two people will either get along, have same interests, enjoy each others company, etc...no matter what their racial make up is ...My family members allow me to make my own decisions and respect those decisions and choices...or they can not deal with me...I am a grown up...

 

[f a m o u s]

well, im from iran and i moved to canada 4 years ago and didnt know barley any english (i spoke persian/farsi)when i moved here, so yeaa most of my boyfriends have been blonde with blue eyes lol so we definetly dont look alike but thats ok because i dont really care about the person's race because it really donesnt change anythign , we are all the same inside

the only thing that can be difficult is the fact that im muslim and there is so many different traditions and stuff that go along with that.

 

[chocolategoddes]

I don't even see why interracial dating/marriage is such a big deal. People like to say that interracial relationships can cause culture clash, but every household has its own traditions and cultures, so you're going to have some sort of argument, regardless of whether the person is darker or lighter than you.
I wish we could see more interracial relationships in tv, movies, and commercial. I think I've only seen about 3 commercials in my entire life that depict an interracial couple. Two out of those three times was a white man with an asian woman (random fact).
So, obviously, I have absolutely have no problem with interracial relationships. If the love is there, go for it.
For me personally, I'm attracted to people of all different races, so I'm not going to limit myself from who I choose to date because of their race.

And if it wasn't for interracial relationships, a lot of us wouldn't even be here right now!

 

[RedRibbon]

The light of my life is white and I'm Indian. His granddaddy is Irish and his grandmother is Russian and they are adamant that they are a mixed couple

.

My relationship with Mr RR causes many issue with my extended family who think I should settle down with a good Indian boy but my parents are more easy going and don't mind if I marry an alien, as long as I'm happy.

I suppose it helps that neither of us are really religious but if we were I still wouldn't see it being a problem.

I can speak fluent Punjabi and to his credit Mr RR can pick up on pretty much anything I say (which is not good because when we row and I cuss him out in Punjabi, he understands, damn him!) My extended family talk about him in Punjabi and he understands what they say but they don't know he does. Even to this day he is one of the few people I defend as if my life depended on it, I know that people saying stuff about him doesn't make it true but how dare they think it's fine to tarnish his character. He always tells me to leave it but I just can't. Say what you want about me but don't even think about saying anything about him. I suppose the reason I'm so defensive of him is because of all he's helped me realise about myself really, mainly that I'm fine the way that I am.

Sorry, that went a bit off topic but I cant talk about him for days on end.

 

[hhunt2]

I'm a creation of an interracial couple. lol. I'm Italian, German and Filipino.
My dad is Italian and German. Born and raised in Ohio.
My mom is Filipino. She was born and raised in the Philippines (Pangasinan).

My dad's family never approved of my mom. But my mom's family was okay with it. My parents met in the 80's and made me.

My husband is Italian, Spanish and Mexican. Luckly, his family likes me. My family wasn't sure about him in the begining though (my family believes that I should finish school before I date. No way in hell will that happen, lol... If my mom wanted the old school way, she should have left my ass in the Philippines). Unfortunatly, my husband has always felt awkward around my family. And he is always weirded out with Filipino food, lol.

My husband and I are Catholics. I find that having the same (or similar) religion is very important. I dated a Fijian guy (he looked Indian) for 1.5 years. That didn't last because he had different beliefs and views in life. Plus our religions always clashed. He is Muslim. His father believed in having many wives. My ex used to say he wasn't into that, but I didn't believe him. Thank God I'm out of that. lol
But my ex's family didn't like me. Why? I don't know. I love all types of food. I can blend with any culture b/c I'm always interested in new things. And I always repect people and thier religion. Another thing, it was always awkward with his family b/c of the language barrier and b/c I looked different. lol

Another thing, living in Northern California, you will always run into interacial couples.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

well, I think I replied to a thread similar to this before. But I'm Persian (95% with like 5% Russian) and am married to a half black half Native American man from Guyana. I never looked at ppl based on their colours. I grew up in a very multicultural and accepting community where the subject of race wasn't as big as it is in some other places.

I started dating my husband because of who he was not his skin colour. I will admit we're both from very liberal families so we had no problems with either set of parents accepting us. We also have many friends in interracial relationships as well. It's very common where I live.

TBH, I never really thought of race/colours until I joined Specktra. It seems like it's a big deal in many places base on what I read here... I wish ppl didn't pay so much attention to it, it's just a skin colour, nothing more. I think difference in religion is a much bigger deal than difference in race.

 

[blackeneddove]

I've been in an inter-racial relationship for over 2 years now, I'm half Italian, 1/4 German, 1/4 Indian, but I just go by Caucasian or Italian 'cause its easier. My boyfriend is Mexican.

We didn't care at first, we got together because we liked each other. After we met each other's families it got a little.. awkward, I would say.

Our biggest problem is a language barrier. Although he speaks perfect English, as well as his siblings, his parent's don't. I've never had a REAL conversation with them. This is hard for me because he can speak with my parents, but I can't speak with his. I would like to build a relationship with his parents, to get to know them as well as he knows mine, but I don't see it happening anytime soon..

Another issue that stems off language is children. If we do end up staying together and eventually having children one day, what will we do? Raise them speaking spanish, and let them learn English in school? Then I will have to learn spanish and my parents will not be able to communicate with my child until they're well into Elementary school. Raise them speaking English, and forget about spanish? Then his parents will not be able to communicate with their grandchild. Either way, it's a lose/lose situation for one side of our families. My parents are older and I would like them to know my children, but it would be so useful to the child to raise them bilingual too.

Other than language, there really isn't a problem. We have different cultural traditions, but those are small things that don't really affect our relationship.

 

[kdemers1221]

i've been in an interracial relationship for the past 2 years. my boyfriend is 100% korean and i'm white. our differences in race were never an issue. my parents love him and as long as i'm happy and he treats me well.. its all good. ive never had problems with his family because both him and his sister are adopted. his mom is white. i've never had anyone actually say anything to us... but i do notice that if we are out people will give us looks. usually older asian individuals. like others have said... i love him and he loves me and to us that is all that matters. i don't care if people stare... let them think what they want.

 

[Strawberrymold]

I am African American, Swedish & Native American & my BF of nearly 5 years is white. Both of us and our families have never even brought the issue up (because there is no issue) and non of our friends have either. When we travel sometimes people look at us funny but it's nothing I'm not used to being from (clearly) mixed race decent. I have never really cared what people have thought about the matter because I don't value the opinions of the ignorant. As far as I am concerned giving those who have issue with mixed race couples the time of day is only giving them what they want... a chance to pick a fight or attempt to preach from a soap box. Even though I have many reasons I know there is only good in love (reguardless of color) I would rather bite my tongue than give those who oppose it the chance to be acknowlaged. Screw them... they are missing out on a lot of friendships/relationships anyways!

Sorry.... Rant

 

[miss sha]

I guess the fastest way to say this is that I personally prefer to date outside of my race (and unless it's some thug-ed out guy "Hey mama!"-ing at me, non-blacks are the ones who are interested in me) so I have absolutely no problems with interracial dating.

 

[SakurasamaLover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadowy Lady well, I think I replied to a thread similar to this before. But I'm Persian (95% with like 5% Russian) and am married to a half black half Native American man from Guyana. I never looked at ppl based on their colours. I grew up in a very multicultural and accepting community where the subject of race wasn't as big as it is in some other places. I started dating my husband because of who he was not his skin colour. I will admit we're both from very liberal families so we had no problems with either set of parents accepting us. We also have many friends in interracial relationships as well. It's very common where I live. TBH, I never really thought of race/colours until I joined Specktra. It seems like it's a big deal in many places base on what I read here... I wish ppl didn't pay so much attention to it, it's just a skin colour, nothing more. I think difference in religion is a much bigger deal than difference in race.

Yeah it kinda bother me sometimes to see a 'line' traced when there is example: Baby Blooms and Baby Blooms WOC... it's like... why try to draw a line with the color of the skin? ... a WOC tread for good makeup on any skin tone and such is okay to me, but for every collection?!???
Why the need? It seriously always bothered me but I never posted about it... anyway life goes on, and I go in the WOC threads even if I am NC15, cause I don't give a damn about skin color more then hair color lol, people are people.

 

[miss sha]

IMHO, the need is that products will look different on NC15 skin versus NC50 skin and the WOC threads help to narrow down what products will look best on people with similar skin colors. I doubt it's being done to segregate WOC from the rest of the forum, but out of a genuine, proven necessity: products do look different on different skintones. Different colors will or won't show up, different techniques may need to be used, different color placement, and certainly products that look great on fairer skin can be passed completely on a WOC because they don't even show up.

It's like someone with a bowel problem on a food forum--they can't eat everything that most of the other users can, so they require more specific information.

 

[SakurasamaLover]

^ I understand but you can have different issues with extremely fair skin too. IMO there could be just all in the same thread, people always says their skin color when they do swatch or if they show up on their skin or what not in the 'everyone' thread. People ask if it will show up on dark skin tone, usual type of answer is like : - If you are NC35 or higher forget that color it will disappear.. so what's the point ? Like I said a WOC thread, or Asian/Olive/Snowwhite skin issues and all ok, but for every collection?

I don't know... it just that for my values it's kinda right on the limit of being inappropriate, just a feeling and just my opinion thought.

That said I love Specktra and the friendly atmosphere and people and all and I didn't saw much racism issues here like in some other places so.... well

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadowy Lady well, I think I replied to a thread similar to this before. But I'm Persian (95% with like 5% Russian) and am married to a half black half Native American man from Guyana. I never looked at ppl based on their colours. I grew up in a very multicultural and accepting community where the subject of race wasn't as big as it is in some other places. I started dating my husband because of who he was not his skin colour. I will admit we're both from very liberal families so we had no problems with either set of parents accepting us. We also have many friends in interracial relationships as well. It's very common where I live. TBH, I never really thought of race/colours until I joined Specktra. It seems like it's a big deal in many places base on what I read here... I wish ppl didn't pay so much attention to it, it's just a skin colour, nothing more. I think difference in religion is a much bigger deal than difference in race.

It is also very common in the US...not sure why so much attention is still allocated to it....When I see a interracial couple I do not do a double take it is so common it doesn't even register with me...

 

[AngelBunny]

I have had experience with this (both good and bad) ... I am pale as hell but am actually largely Comanche Native American and I dated a guy for over four years that was hispanic. Growing up in small town West Texas that was a big deal ... my dad was fine with it but my mother was absolutely not so there was alot of tension there. Otherwise my family was pretty much fine with it ....

His family was another story ... his parents accepted me completely even though they were very into their hispanic roots and I loved that. I had alot of fun with them ... the rest of his family was completely different. He had one aunt that referred to me (to my face) as the rich little white bitch (I am not rich ... the bitch part is debatable

) and would try to start shit any chance she got. He usually stepped in on my behalf because I didn't want to create a scene in front of his family, but it was taxing and I remember several nights just going to his room and crying.

Now that I am older I actually enjoy seeing couple of mixed cultures and backgrounds because it reminds me of how far people have come and that there are places that are far more progressive than where I grew up (don't get me wrong ... I love my roots ... but the bible belt way of thinking can get old).

 

[celestia]

I'm in an inter-racial relationship and my past would suggest it is because I closely identify with them more than my own 'home' race (for lack of better term). I'm picky as hell when it comes to being in a relationship so i've usually assessed everything from multiple standpoints by the time i consider a relationship with that person. In this day and age though, I don't think it's so much a question of race- but moreso the location the relationship operates in and whether it is helping the relationship thrive or suffer.
Since I'm with a Swede, it's not only my identity and upbringing as an asian with Australian values, but also as an Australian with asian values that really contrast 'his' world and culture. XD I used to be with an Australian and I found it comparatively easy since i grew up with the Australian culture in me anyway

.

The language barriers make up a huge portion of misunderstandings and a lot of it is on petty technicality because he is actually quite fluent (as most Swedes are nowaday). Distance is also an issue. I'm still studying my undergraduate and he has his own targets to hit so our respective countries are still home to us. To accomodate, we strip our pockets and savings for each other every 6 months to visit each other respectively on our larger holidays. Currently, the only way I can support this financially is because of a scholarship. Long distance sarks. I'll say that now. VOIP and phones and gaming can only be taken so far. Half the time the distance makes his mumbling accent HARDER to hear and it gets frustrating. There is also the topic of current age, financial stability and whether the relationship we have is currently 'sustainable'. As a result, we have support from both ends of the family spectrum, but they vary in expression and intensity.
We tend to never take for granted the days we have together though and most fights are usually ridiculed into oblivion when we're together in person, so I guess that's a massive plus

There are heaps of other relatively fat issues that could be considered 'key' or 'minor' but we've worked around it... such to the point I know where I'll be in x years time

I like having that security.

I am sort of required to learn Swedish since I plan to move up there after and although they are all quite fluent in English, employability is greatly decreased if one cannot speak the de facto language of Sweden D: The dilemma however, lies within any possibility of children.. See, my parents are quite happily to admit they are fobs and his parents are not so literate in English either- so both languages are going to be mandatory. HAH.
I also get 10 kinds of fuzzy warm and embarassing when the 'what our children will look like!' topic comes up. I know his parents are all OMG!! because they're all completely Swedish with no trace of Aussie or Asian blood .. har har har.

I've grown up as sort of a globally minded person and have lived with many students from different internationalities... So while inter-racial issues aren't new for me at all, I'm also no newbie to the whole different-country-and-culture field either...And although I think they can still pretty confronting in different pockets of society, I don't think they should phase people as much in today's sort of world.
It's sort of expected if you ask me.