MissMarley
Well-known member
Last August, my dad came up to visit me the day before my birthday and told me he was leaving my mom after 29 years of marriage. He said it was that or kill himself.
Two weeks later, he proposed to the woman he'd been seeing behind my mom's back. She turned him down, since he was cheating on her too.
Lots of drama later, the divorce was final, I thought I handled it fairly well and stayed on good terms with both my parents, although it was a pretty nasty shock- I had no idea my father was unhappy, it seemed like it came out of the blue.
Then last night:
I asked my mom about my dad's previous marriages, that he had just now told me about. He didn't answer me when I asked if there were children in those marriages- I'm an only child, and I wanted to know if I might have half-siblings, but he wouldn't answer.
Guess what I found out when I asked my mom?
I sort of have a sibling. From my dad's first marriage. A sister. Although he's never seen her since she was a baby, and he terminated his parental rights when the first wife and and he divorced so she could marry another man.
My mom doesn't even know her name. She's pretty sure this girl knows about me, she's about 9 years older than I am. My grandmother kept in contact with her. I guess you could call her my half-sister. At least his name is on her birthday certificate and on mine. But she's not, really.
Because he's not my dad. Some anonymous sperm donor is.
My dad had a vasectomy after his first marriage because he was afraid to pass on his genetic traits to anyone else. Because my grandmother is an acute paranoid schizophrenic who spent years in a mental hospital. And I thought she just traveled sometimes. Or was sort of out of it- but no, that was the heavy drugs she's been on since I've been alive. Oh, and I had a great-aunt that I never knew about because she killed herself due to schizophrenia.
My mom really wanted a baby. So they used a sperm donor. And she told me all this last night. My dad isn't my biological dad. My grandmother is a paranoid schizophrenic who has spent the majority of her life drugged to the gills.
Is it normal that I'm feeling true shock? Like this can't be real? I was a part of a tiny, slightly dysfuncational nuclear family- mom, dad, and me. Now it's much more complicated, and I guess always has been, I just was the only one who didn't know.
It's amazing how much your life can change in 10 months.
Two weeks later, he proposed to the woman he'd been seeing behind my mom's back. She turned him down, since he was cheating on her too.
Lots of drama later, the divorce was final, I thought I handled it fairly well and stayed on good terms with both my parents, although it was a pretty nasty shock- I had no idea my father was unhappy, it seemed like it came out of the blue.
Then last night:
I asked my mom about my dad's previous marriages, that he had just now told me about. He didn't answer me when I asked if there were children in those marriages- I'm an only child, and I wanted to know if I might have half-siblings, but he wouldn't answer.
Guess what I found out when I asked my mom?
I sort of have a sibling. From my dad's first marriage. A sister. Although he's never seen her since she was a baby, and he terminated his parental rights when the first wife and and he divorced so she could marry another man.
My mom doesn't even know her name. She's pretty sure this girl knows about me, she's about 9 years older than I am. My grandmother kept in contact with her. I guess you could call her my half-sister. At least his name is on her birthday certificate and on mine. But she's not, really.
Because he's not my dad. Some anonymous sperm donor is.
My dad had a vasectomy after his first marriage because he was afraid to pass on his genetic traits to anyone else. Because my grandmother is an acute paranoid schizophrenic who spent years in a mental hospital. And I thought she just traveled sometimes. Or was sort of out of it- but no, that was the heavy drugs she's been on since I've been alive. Oh, and I had a great-aunt that I never knew about because she killed herself due to schizophrenia.
My mom really wanted a baby. So they used a sperm donor. And she told me all this last night. My dad isn't my biological dad. My grandmother is a paranoid schizophrenic who has spent the majority of her life drugged to the gills.
Is it normal that I'm feeling true shock? Like this can't be real? I was a part of a tiny, slightly dysfuncational nuclear family- mom, dad, and me. Now it's much more complicated, and I guess always has been, I just was the only one who didn't know.
It's amazing how much your life can change in 10 months.
