I've been abandoned

[Shaquille]

just today.. it's not a big deal but just made me sooo pissed that I feel like sharing..

I am new in the city where I live and it was so hot today so I went to a mall. My husband told me in the morning (just spend the day at the mall, it's gonna be so hot today). At first I was just hanging around on the internet but in the end I went anyways..

We were supposed to go see a condo at 6. My husband called me around 4 (I was on the bus), asked me if we could move the viewing to 7. I said ok, let me give you the number. He said he had it so he called him.

At almost 6 I called my husband to know what was up.. He said the viewing is going to be tomorrow. I said ok.. He also said that he was going to pick me up as soon as he was done at work.

I said ok. I continued walking around in the mall.. At 7 something I felt like I wanted to go home, so I sent my husband a text (my credit was low), asked him where he was and I said I wanted to go home.. He replied and said "almost done".

So I waited again.. and I got really tired my legs started to hurt. I sat outside, checked my watch, it was 8:10.. then I realized "Danggg I want to watch the Hills premiere!!" so I sent him text, got no answer, called his work, got no answer, called his cell phone, got no answer (the phones are all working 'cause I got the ring). I waited until 8:30, said to myself, I'll take the bus if I heard nothing yet. After I got on the bus I sent him a text that I took the bus and I was pissed.

He sent me a text at 8:35, he said "what.. I did not plan this". I replied, "you could at least call or text me instead of leaving me hanging like this. I am tired/hungry/thirsty and I want to watch the Hills".

Twelve minutes later he said, "I'm leaving now to get you". On the bus I was like, "wtf??!!! you haven't even left work??" but I just replied, "no need to, I'm already on the bus"

Why I am pissed: he said he was almost done, he could at least call me and say, "I can't get out of work" whatsoever so I could take the bus, I really don't mind.. I was tired/hungry/thirsty.. I got no 'real' cash (got several cents..) and a credit card, but I didn't have photo ID with me.. One and a half hour was long when I was already there for another 2 hours, I was done doing whatever I was doing..

I am new in this town and am not familiar with the bus, schedules, route and all that. So I thought what took me there was going to take me back. Wrong big time.. I went further away, it was dark and raining too (lightning and thunder too, and those make me scared).. It took me 2 hours to go back home when it took me 30 minutes from home.

And of course, I missed the Hills..

 

[sweetbabyblue]

When I saw the thread title I originally thought you meant as in your partner abandoned you completely!
(I would've been annoyed too)

 

[EllieFerris]

That totally sucks! I would have been furious too!

My husband has no concept of time as well. I've learned that when he says 20 minutes, he really means an hour. He's a chef is a high end restaurant in Philadelphia. I've come to hate several celebrities and have even sent them nasty letters/e-mails becuase they'll have a reservation for 8 and don't show up until 10:30 pm and think it's ok.

I'm not going to mention names (J-LO!) or anything like that (Cindy Lauper!), but they affect my life when I'm waiting at home or to be picked up from some where.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Does he have the kind of job where he really thought that he'd be done soon but wasn't?

 

[Shaquille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetbabyblue When I saw the thread title I originally thought you meant as in your partner abandoned you completely! (I would've been annoyed too)

Well that was for today, but there's other days when I think he abandons me too, like we're still living at his mom's when I really need privacy and I've been looking for apartment. When I got hold of some stuffs he kept saying like, "we look tomorrow, we look Sunday, we look next week" and we never really did.. and there are other things but I am not going to discuss it here..

 

[Shaquille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EllieFerris That totally sucks! I would have been furious too! My husband has no concept of time as well. I've learned that when he says 20 minutes, he really means an hour. He's a chef is a high end restaurant in Philadelphia. I've come to hate several celebrities and have even sent them nasty letters/e-mails becuase they'll have a reservation for 8 and don't show up until 10:30 pm and think it's ok. I'm not going to mention names (J-LO!) or anything like that (Cindy Lauper!), but they affect my life when I'm waiting at home or to be picked up from some where.

You know, I really don't mind when people are going to be late unless there is something very very important I need to attend to and I cannot do it without him (like I need him to pick me up to go to my mom's birthday or my best friend's wedding).

But that's when he should have a common sense, call!

I know how you feel, that must be hard, especially since it's your husband's full time job.. and those celebs think they are more important than anything.. and if the restaurant's closed for the day, they're probably gonna write bad things about the restaurant and give it a bad rating. Not fair!!

 

[Shaquille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Does he have the kind of job where he really thought that he'd be done soon but wasn't?

It's an office job.. they have a deadline with an HQ at the moment. Normally he can come and go whenever he wants.

I really don't mind, I just want him to call and let me know what's going on.. The first time he came home so late from work, I got so worried.. I tried to call, got no answer..he wasn't making an effort to let his wife know what's going on, and he's supposed to..

 

[NicksWifey]

He should've called you to let you know what was really going on, that he was busy at work and couldn't get out of it. It was wrong to leave you hanging for so long.

 

[Lauren1981]

that sux big time! he could have at least called you. it's called being courteous. if he was caught up at work he should have called you first without you having to search all of "oil country" to find him. i hope you guys work it out, which i'm sure you will

and as for the hills.........

i'm from the midwest and go to sleep early because i'm used to everything coming on between 7-9....... not 8-11. lol! so when all the good stuff comes on i'm usually sleep so i watch the mtv stuff on mtv.com. ha! last night i got to the part where doug picked up lauren and i was KNOCKED out

 

[Shaquille]

thanks NicksWifey, Lauren1982

Yeah I kept thinking he could at least call me when it has passed 30 minutes and said, "Hey, I don't know how soon I can get out of here.. What do you wanna do?"

I really don't mind taking the bus.. Even though I would probably still get lost, but at least it wasn't dark yet.. and I was scared, I kept thinking, "what if it's getting late and there's no bus anymore?"

He said sorry but I just wasn't feeling like talking so I kept my mouth close for the rest of the night. I still haven't really spoken to him (he's at work now) but we've sent each other some e-mails to see the apartment tonight. The silence though.. I did it 'cause I hate drama..

I finally watched the Hills online hehe..

 

[ktdetails]

While reading this...I thought you were going to say that you got home after taking the bus to find that he had left you, taken all his things, emptied the bank account, and was in love with someone else and that he needed you to be at the mall to have this happen and everytime you were checking it was him stalling you as he was trying to load up the moving van or something... (yes, my imagination was running wild) In thinking this was the story I was in for... it seems like such a small argument. I reserve the word abandoned for more drastic situations. If he can't seem to be where you need him when you need him there in the case of a ride home from the mall... then I would just plan to take care of yourself - which you did. I think this problem sounds like you guys just have some communication and priority issues. Work vs. The Hills premiere... who will be the victor?!

 

[Lapis]

I guess this is bad but Welcome to the club, my husband does this ALL the time! On friday when he pulled a stunt like this I still made him go grocery shopping, evil I know but I'm now at the point where I go, I have plans and we are sticking to those plans!

 

[Shaquille]

ktdetails ignored was the exact word I was looking for but it didn't come out in time.. sorry..
anyways, it wasn't work vs the Hills premiere.. the Hills was just a minor issue..
and I did not need him.. he said it himself, "I'm going to pick you up". So ok, I waited.. if I went home instead and he came to the mall, he'd be mad too, wouldn't he?
so yes, priority and communication issue. Plus, common sense..

Lapis lol.. that's true.. and when you can't stick to those plans, you communicate, rite?? good job..

 

[ktdetails]

I know The Hills wasn't the major issue... just making a joke...

 

[Lapis]

truthfully I communicate in excess with him, does he listen? sometimes, lol, does he do the same? sometimes, I just make him add reminders to his phones that tends to help

 

[Shaquille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ktdetails I know The Hills wasn't the major issue... just making a joke...

sorry I took it a little serious..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lapis truthfully I communicate in excess with him, does he listen? sometimes, lol, does he do the same? sometimes, I just make him add reminders to his phones that tends to help

yah me too.. so I tried to remind him yesterday.. but what could I do when he put his phone on silence, not checking whatsoever.. God Knows what happened to his work phone too..

 

[sweetbabyblue]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ktdetails While reading this...I thought you were going to say that you got home after taking the bus to find that he had left you, taken all his things, emptied the bank account, and was in love with someone else and that he needed you to be at the mall to have this happen and everytime you were checking it was him stalling you as he was trying to load up the moving van or something... (yes, my imagination was running wild)

That's what I'd initially thought too!
I think he should've called you heaps earlier, I'll one of those people who get VERY uptight about punctuality. I see it as a sign of disrespect if someone's going to be late and don't let me know, leaving me to stand around waiting for extended periods of time.