Jealous people...

[juicyaddict]

This chatter section is so much fun, I just discovered this today and now I'm even hooked with Specktra.
Anyway, just want to find out what you girls think and maybe let me know if I'm being righteous about this situation.

See, I know someone (not really considered her a friend, not ever!) who I think is the most jealous person I've met. She has serious insecurity issues which I won't share anymore, it is too personal and I don't want to hurt other people who are in the same boat as she is. But I don't think having her problem gives her an excuse for her jealousy.
First, she is such a big copycat. Ok, I don't know if she idolizes me or something, but it is getting annoying already that other people notice how she is looking more like me.

Name it, hairstyle, clothes, bags, shoes, HOUSE! Yes, she even managed to convince her husband to buy the same model house as we did almost a year ago. So at some point when there are parties, guests will comment how their house looks like ours, or our house looks like theirs. And not just the house, but the furnitures. When she found out my decorating style, she went and bought furnitures from the same store, too. Well, we already moved to another house so that is not an issue anymore. We've lived in this house for over 3 years now and they still live in the same house. When we moved to this second house, I knew she will go ahead and hunt for the same house, and guess what? She did try! Which I found out from my realtor friend who shared the story to me. Apparently, she and her hubby found a house similar to ours near our street and sought the help of my realtor friend because they wanted to make an offer right away. Well I guess it didn't work out, and she kept it a secret from me, they kept the same house up to now. I won't be surprised to hear they're moving next door.
Second point - Here's her style of copying that makes it even more annoying. I won't mind if she buys the same stuff I just bought, only if she'll say that she likes how it looks on me, or that she's been eyeing the stuff for a while now or that she really like to have it - NO, she won't give that excuse. Her excuses go like 'Oh my hubby bought it for me, and I don't even want him to buy it', 'Oh I got it as a gift', 'Oh you also got the same shoes?' - duh!

You've seen me wear the same stuff last time and I know how observant you are! Don't give me those lame excuses. It is sooo funny.

Like recently for some reason she found I want to get the new iphone, I heard her say that she also needs to get a new phone because she accidentally washed her hubby's phone in the washing machine so now her hubby has her phone. LAME! It will take forever to give every single thing she bought that she saw me buy a week or so earlier, it seems like she has no originality and she just adores me so much

that she doesn't mind parading with things she copied from me, in front of me and other people and act like she never copied it from me. I dunno, personally, I don't like copying from people I know, specially if we'll be seen together at say a party. If I know she got it already, I will get something else or not get the same exact thing and be more original, right? Tell me if I don't have the right to be annoyed. Sometimes, I just tell myself to be more understanding because she has issues and this is her way to pacify herself, but enough already! You know what's bad of me, I try to play her game sometimes. I intentionally show-off stuff to her and try to see how many days it will take for her to hunt down where I bought it. Works everytime! Next time I see her, she'll wear the same stuff. Sometimes she'll ask like 'who is your hair stylist', hee hee, i sometimes lie and give her the wrong name. I really don't mind if we're friends, because I remember doing that in highschool or college with my best friends. We shop and buy the same things. But with her who I don't consider a friend (she is known to gossip and tell lies about other people) it bothers me. Oh well, just thought I'll get some feedback from you girls here.

 

[MACATTAK]

This is really annoying! If I were you (since you don't consider her to be a friend anyway) is stop inviting her over/hanging out with her. If she happens to see you on the street & then copies your outfit & hair, you can't change that. If you are allowing her into your home & life, then it's kinda of "up for grabs," even though she shouldn't be doing it to the extreme she is. I had someone do that to me too & it got damn annoying. I distanced myself & then it really didn't matter to me what she did. Of course, she didn't see me, so she couldn't copy me. You can talk to her about it if you really care about her, but judging from your post above, it doesn't seem like you like her much, so I would just let it go.

 

[Ms. Z]

How bizarre!? There was a movie about a woman like this? There was also an episode of Frazier where his new boss copied everything he had. She’s scary!
BTW: Does her husband look like yours too?

Well, you can play a fun not really mean trick on her, buy things that are dreadful (but at stores that give full refunds) and show them off & talk about them like you love them, than return them! Buy a knock off of really expensive jewelry (like Tiffany) and tell her you got it at Tiffany’s.

I know this must be extremely annoying, but you can take pride in knowing that you are the original and that your looks and style/taste are so good that others want to imitate it.

 

[juicyaddict]

you know that is exactly what i've been doing for the past year, i try not to go to parties where she's going, or when she invites us, i'll give a lame excuse just like the ones she come up with. i figure she'll have a lot of catching up to do when she sees me after a long time... hee hee, and since i won't see her anytime soon, i won't know what she buys. so far, this has been working, but then she bugs me with these constant emails asking how i've been and why i never reply to her emails anymore, or why she never gets to see me anymore. she thinks we're friends even though we're not.

btw, i haven't seen her for like 3-4 months, and i'll see her again this sat. what should i wear?

guess i'll put on the best makeup i can do so she'll have the whole time staring at my face trying to memorize every inch of me. har har har.

 

[juicyaddict]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZLoves2Shop How bizarre!? There was a movie about a woman like this? There was also an episode of Frazier where his new boss copied everything he had. She’s scary! BTW: Does her husband look like yours too? Well, you can play a fun not really mean trick on her, buy things that are dreadful (but at stores that give full refunds) and show them off & talk about them like you love them, than return them! Buy a knock off of really expensive jewelry (like Tiffany) and tell her you got it at Tiffany’s. I know this must be extremely annoying, but you can take pride in knowing that you are the original and that your looks and style/taste are so good that others want to imitate it.

Yes, seriously, I think she is crazy. During those times I thought she was stalking me, and she had her husband as an accomplice. That's funny you mentioned, I thought about the same thing you suggested to test how far she'll go, but so far I've only done a milder version, like lead her to the wrong place, or tell her the wrong brand. But I tell you she's resourceful.
BTW, my husband looks better than her husband.

If she had known me before we got married, then we'll probably have look-alike hubbies.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I think that's one of those annoying habits people have where you can't do anything about it.

It's kind of weird to do, but you don't like hanging out with her and she hasn't gotten the clue yet, you actually should tell her that you don't want to be friends.

 

[Ms. Z]

Quote:

Originally Posted by juicyaddict Yes, seriously, I think she is crazy. During those times I thought she was stalking me, and she had her husband as an accomplice. That's funny you mentioned, I thought about the same thing you suggested to test how far she'll go, but so far I've only done a milder version, like lead her to the wrong place, or tell her the wrong brand. But I tell you she's resourceful. BTW, my husband looks better than her husband. If she had known me before we got married, then we'll probably have look-alike hubbies.

Hey, don't be surprised if she sends him to the plastic surgeon.

Oh, so her mate is part of the madness

Tell her someone made it for you, ask her if she wants one, charge her double the price, buy it, cut off the tags & give it to her (I'm being sarcastic

).

 

[MACATTAK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by juicyaddict you know that is exactly what i've been doing for the past year, i try not to go to parties where she's going, or when she invites us, i'll give a lame excuse just like the ones she come up with. i figure she'll have a lot of catching up to do when she sees me after a long time... hee hee, and since i won't see her anytime soon, i won't know what she buys. so far, this has been working, but then she bugs me with these constant emails asking how i've been and why i never reply to her emails anymore, or why she never gets to see me anymore. she thinks we're friends even though we're not. btw, i haven't seen her for like 3-4 months, and i'll see her again this sat. what should i wear? guess i'll put on the best makeup i can do so she'll have the whole time staring at my face trying to memorize every inch of me. har har har.

Good for you. As far as emailing you can either be direct with her & tell her the truth, or be indirect and say that you are extremely "busy " these days. You don't owe her any specifics. My gosh this sounds exactly like a person I used to know (would not consider her a friend) no matter how much I ignored her, she never got the frickin point, so I finally had to tell her the truth & be rude about it since I was so annoyed with her.
As for seeing her this weekend, wear whatever you want. You don't need to change for her. If she asks about where you got this or that, say something like "Why so you can copy me"? You don't have to tell her anything BTW. I don't know if you tell people directly what you feel, or if you avoid it (like I do). Eventually you will get fed up with it & lash out like I did

 

[juicyaddict]

Yes, I've given her the 'I'm busy these days' excuse, and very short email responses. Another thing is how she seems to tell other people that we're close that sometimes when I see them, they ask about her from me like wth? I just tell them we don't usually see each other, and haven't seen her in a looong time. She's good at making up stories and she thinks she can fool people with her lies. She doesn't know there are other people smarter than her who won't buy her stories. Oh well, I'll see what happens this weekend.

 

[juicyaddict]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZLoves2Shop Hey, don't be surprised if she sends him to the plastic surgeon. Oh, so her mate is part of the madness Tell her someone made it for you, ask her if she wants one, charge her double the price, buy it, cut off the tags & give it to her (I'm being sarcastic ).

I'm loving your ideas. This has been going on for years, can't recall anymore, so just imagine how it had become so obvious this behavior of her over time and why it has reached a point where it had become annoying and her actions so predictable. We used to make bets, my hubby and I, that we'll just find out either through other people or when we see them that they'll have the same stuff. I think her husband is part of it the way he allows/lets her act that way. And what about the house? The vacation? (yup, one time they vacationed in Hawaii a few months after we went) Hubby has to be a part of that decision, right? I'm sure he's aware how jealous his wife is to other people and yet he lets her. What can I say, it must be love. For the past year, I guess the way I've been ignoring her is working. I only got to see her 3-4 times in the past year even though we're neighbors. So I'm getting there.

 

[flowerhead]

That sounds horrible. I would just say I don't want to be your friend anymore so she cant try and steal your identity any further...:S

 

[macface]

I used to have a friend who used to copy everything from makeup to shoes whatever it was even they way I used to talk it was very annoying.

 

[Beauty Mark]

All this sounds like Single White Female, except not as bad.

 

[juicyaddict]

I have to go rent that movie

 

[SELFstyled]

Ooh girl I SO know how you feel! I too know a couple "friends" who do the exact same thing. It's not fun having a clone following you around let me tell ya.

All you can do is laugh it off & pity them for being insanely insecure. When it comes down to it, they're completely miserable & need to "one up" everyone to make themselves feel better. Just keep doing what you're doing & definitely distance yourself from her. The less she knows about your plans etc. the better & maybe she'll leave you alone & start copying someone else heh.

 

[yummy411]

omigosh! i so feel you on the excuses for buying the same items... (i've experienced the same over stuff like nail polish or makeup) she is horrible! if it kept up at the same rate, you would need a restraining order! or can therapists/psychologists arrest people?? lol

wait this would be too weird..tell me if this happened to you.... in the beginning of this odd relationship, would you tell a small anecdote or so, and she would repeat the same story almost word for word as if she just revealed an original story/experience.... and you think to yourself 'that's what i just said

' ok so this situation so happened to me.. a few times too many!!

 

[Beauty Mark]

I've had people retell jokes or use phrasing I use (like very specific analogies) and try to claim them as their own.

I really think it's one of those annoying, gets under your skin, habits some people have and there's nothing you can do about it, unless it goes into Single White Female territory (stalking).

 

[Willa]

Wow

To me, it sounds like stalking
Be carefull with this girl...

I had two friends, they were copying each other, and being jealouse whenever one of them found ''it'' first.

From a zeebra coat to a cell phone, boots, way to dress and such...
It was hell on earth because in the same time, they kept talking behind each other's back...

Btw, they are no longer my friends... hehehe

 

[3jane]

wow, at that point, I might even start gushing about the things I "want" which I actually find dreadful. Like, "omg, I just found the best neon pink leopard print jacket on [insert website here]. I can't wait for it to arrive! I have the most awesome lime green ankle boots to wear it with!" Then smile to yourself when you catch her wearing that stuff.

Seriously though, copying houses is way creepy, b/c that's not a casual investment.

 

[TangoMango]

Wow, that's creepy!

I had a friend (not my friend anymore) that would do that exact same thing. It depends on whomever she becomes attached to. First, she was attached to one girl and she would wear the same clothes, shoes, makeup style as the girl. The girl got annoyed because she felt her identity was being taken away. Then she made friends with this new girl. She died her hair black, to match the new girl's hair, starting wearing black clothes and wanted to tan so she can be that same colour as the new girl. She even started dating the same guys the new girl would date. It was really frigging creepy and that was my cue to cut her off.

Seriously though, that friend of yours sounds like she has identity issues. I would keep my distance from her. If she asks you where you got your clothing or accessories from, just say Wal-mart.

Works for me.