Lets talk skin tone.

[joygasm]

I have trouble accepting the fact that I'm darker than most people.
I don't know if this is an issue for anyone else, but culturally being lighter is seen as better. How do you feel about this?
I don't even like going to get new foundations or concealers cause I feel bad when its darker than I'd like to be.

I'm jealous of girls with fair skin tones.

 

[nunu]

I hear ya!

I'm nc43 and wish i was an nc35. I used to like my skin tone a lot and it never used to bother me but then a few relatives kept picking on the fact that if i was fairer i would've been prettier and that i shouldn't used dark blushes/ bronzers because it'll make me darker blah blah blah. I used to brush it off but now i wish i can go lighter..i've become self conscious about it too.
It is down to culture..they like fairer skin..

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunu I hear ya! I'm nc43 and wish i was an nc35. I used to like my skin tone a lot and it never used to bother me but then a few relatives kept picking on the fact that if i was fairer i would've been prettier and that i shouldn't used dark blushes/ bronzers because it'll make me darker blah blah blah. I used to brush it off but now i wish i can go lighter..i've become self conscious about it too. It is down to culture..they like fairer skin..

Yeah. I'm really self conscious. I wish I was like NC35 too. I'd be way happier. I don't get why being darker is such a bad thing. :/
I wish they didn't drill that into our heads.

 

[ICandi]

I love being a chocolate gal and I wouldn't change it if I had the oppertunity to. I blame society for drilling into ppls heads that lighter skin=better.

 

[blazeno.8]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm Yeah. I'm really self conscious. I wish I was like NC35 too. I'd be way happier. I don't get why being darker is such a bad thing. :/ I wish they didn't drill that into our heads.

It's not.
I do know however that a lot of the Filipino kids who went to my grade school made a big deal of it. I don't think the Hispanic kids cared, as far as I know none of the black kids cared, and most of the white kids seemed to care either (some did).
I remember there was this project in 7th grade where we had to find someone in the class who had the skin tone closest to our own (I understood the intent of the it, but all in all it was just a dumb project and just begging to start something). It turns out that a Filipina girl and I were each other's closest matches. She couldn't stand that because I was the darkest person in the class. She found someone else and swore up and down that I was just wrong in assuming that we should be partners for the project.

 

[malaviKat]

I am NC43/NC45 and when I was younger I really hated the fact that I was dark(er) and that I had dark hair. Part of this had to do with the fact that I grew up (in Canada) in a predominantly white community, attending schools with mainly white students, and part of it had to do with what you guys have mentioned: the cultural privileging of fairness (even) among Indians. Aside from that, given that I'm primarily attracted to white guys, as a teenager I often assumed they were attracted to white women ('cause nobody asked me out) ... so being darker often seemed like a terrible misfortune.

As I have gotten a bit older however, I have come to be more comfortable in my skin (so to speak). In part, I have shifted my attention from light skinned (physical) role models (I was and still am a huge Pamela Anderson fan) to darker skinned women of different races and colours. I've also shifted my role models as a whole, coming to understand that beauty is not just about one's appearance and I've cultivated other parts of myself to (hopefully) make myself whole.

Plus there have been some benefits:
I've enjoyed not having to tan (unlike my lighter counterparts) to "get a bit of colour" in the summer. I have come to understand that my features are unique (in a relatively white community), and that yes, white boys do like brown girls...and vice versa. (There's a great Facebook group for this).
I'm sure one could critique exoticization here...but I'll take the bad with the good.

The point to this tirade is that there is beauty in all races, "colours", cultures etc. Maybe it's age (I'm 27 now) or maybe it's something else, but I love the colour of my skin.

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blazeno.8 It's not. I do know however that a lot of the Filipino kids who went to my grade school made a big deal of it. I don't think the Hispanic kids cared, as far as I know none of the black kids cared, and most of the white kids seemed to care either (some did). I remember there was this project in 7th grade where we had to find someone in the class who had the skin tone closest to our own (I understood the intent of the it, but all in all it was just a dumb project and just begging to start something). It turns out that a Filipina girl and I were each other's closest matches. She couldn't stand that because I was the darkest person in the class. She found someone else and swore up and down that I was just wrong in assuming that we should be partners for the project.

Wow, well family are the ones that sort of make it a huge issue. My family point it out a lot when we get darker in a bad way. Making us self conscious about it. I don't think I'd ever do that to my kids, but even as a child I had a friend that sort of moved in with us when we were kids and she was white. And she swung on my swingset and told me I couldn't have a turn because I was "black". And that kind of scarred me for life. I ran inside of my house crying asking my mom if I was white lmao. To which she responded "you're just a different shade of white"
She was trying to cheer me up, but yeah it still gets to me even now.

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by malaviKat Plus there have been some benefits: I've enjoyed not having to tan (unlike my lighter counterparts) to "get a bit of colour" in the summer.

I try to stay out of the sun as much as possible...

 

[blazeno.8]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm Wow, well family are the ones that sort of make it a huge issue. My family point it out a lot when we get darker in a bad way. Making us self conscious about it. I don't think I'd ever do that to my kids, but even as a child I had a friend that sort of moved in with us when we were kids and she was white. And she swung on my swingset and told me I couldn't have a turn because I was "black". And that kind of scarred me for life. I ran inside of my house crying asking my mom if I was white lmao. To which she responded "you're just a different shade of white" She was trying to cheer me up, but yeah it still gets to me even now.

I was told by some of my friends once that I couldn't play with them because my Skipper was black, but that didn't stop me from playing with black Barbies or Skippers.

Sure it stung for a little while, but I knew the dynamics of our little group enough that I threatened to take back a birthday present and made one of the other girls cry. Hahaha.

 

[lyttleravyn]

I may have a different view of this issue, because I'm a NC15/20 and a lot of times I wish I had darker skin! And not just tan skin, but reeeeeeally dark. I think Indian women and African American women have the most beautiful skin and they can pull off all those great bright colors! (I just look like a clown, although I'll keep at it! haha). At this point I have a lot of people who say my skin is too light, but honestly I'd rather have beautiful skin in 30 years not well-tanned leather! I wear sunscreen every day (even winter) and don't stay out in the sun too long. So although I can't relate to the posters above with having trouble while growing up, I have had people tell me my skin tone/color should be different.

But I think its just about working with what you were born with and finding the beauty in it! Grass is always greener on the other side I think sometimes.

 

[blazeno.8]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm I try to stay out of the sun as much as possible...

I just try to stay out of hot areas. If it's sunny, but not hot, I might go out and lounge about, but if it's sunny and hot... I run for either shade, a stone building, or a basement.

The one thing I'm not used to though is having to live with an eternal summer. I'm used to having seasons and my skin tone would change through out the year. But now, it's like there are 2 seasons: summer and not-quite summer... and the sun and heat just never seem to go away.
I was putting on my makeup last night and realized that my summer foundation was still the stuff that I'm using in what is supposed to be winter.

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blazeno.8 I just try to stay out of hot areas. If it's sunny, but not hot, I might go out and lounge about, but if it's sunny and hot... I run for either shade, a stone building, or a basement. The one thing I'm not used to though is having to live with an eternal summer. I'm used to having seasons and my skin tone would change through out the year. But now, it's like there are 2 seasons: summer and not-quite summer... and the sun and heat just never seem to go away. I was putting on my makeup last night and realized that my summer foundation was still the stuff that I'm using in what is supposed to be winter.

I try to avoid any chance of tanning. I might go outside but I won't go to a place that will be held outdoors unless it's the night time.
And I live in florida so its pretty much the same here...

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lyttleravyn I may have a different view of this issue, because I'm a NC15/20 and a lot of times I wish I had darker skin! And not just tan skin, but reeeeeeally dark. I think Indian women and African American women have the most beautiful skin and they can pull off all those great bright colors! (I just look like a clown, although I'll keep at it! haha). At this point I have a lot of people who say my skin is too light, but honestly I'd rather have beautiful skin in 30 years not well-tanned leather! I wear sunscreen every day (even winter) and don't stay out in the sun too long. So although I can't relate to the posters above with having trouble while growing up, I have had people tell me my skin tone/color should be different. But I think its just about working with what you were born with and finding the beauty in it! Grass is always greener on the other side I think sometimes.

I think the opposite, I find that any color fair people wear tends to look gorgeous.

 

[Lily_Lyla]

It's odd because darker skinned people see fairer as better but fair skinned people lust after the perfect tan

 

[spectrolite]

I don't think that having darker skin is a bad thing at all. It's a shame that some people in your life have put that in your head. I'm NW45 and I am extremely happy with my beautiful and healthy brown skin. I love being able to wear pretty much any colour imaginable, the contrast of bright colour against my skin, the variations of colour/tones in my skin, and just knowing that it's my own unique colour

I think that the sooner you just accept your skin tone the and get rid of those crazy notions that lighter is better - the happier you will be. Seriously, life is just wayyyyyy too short to worry about something like that and you are beautiful how you are. Each one of us is beautiful in the skin we are in >_<

It's funny, living here in Australia I get so many comments all the time from light skinned people about how they wish that they had my skin tone. Being bronzed/tanned here is very popular so dark skinned people are envied. People are risking cancer and turning into oompa loompas at spray tanning salons - just to get darker. Then on the other end - we have people spending big bucks on skin lighteners because they want to be farer. I think that having healthy skin should be the goal.

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lily_Lyla It's odd because darker skinned people see fairer as better but fair skinned people lust after the perfect tan

I've never met a guy that likes darker skin tones.
That's just me though...

 

[joygasm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by spectrolite I don't think that having darker skin is a bad thing at all. It's a shame that some people in your life have put that in your head. I'm NW45 and I am extremely happy with my beautiful and healthy brown skin. I love being able to wear pretty much any colour imaginable, the contrast of bright colour against my skin, the variations of colour/tones in my skin, and just knowing that it's my own unique colour I think that the sooner you just accept your skin tone the and get rid of those crazy notions that lighter is better - the happier you will be. Seriously, life is just wayyyyyy too short to worry about something like that and you are beautiful how you are. Each one of us is beautiful in the skin we are in >_< It's funny, living here in Australia I get so many comments all the time from light skinned people about how they wish that they had my skin tone. Being bronzed/tanned here is very popular so dark skinned people are envied. People are risking cancer and turning into oompa loompas at spray tanning salons - just to get darker. Then on the other end - we have people spending big bucks on skin lighteners because they want to be farer. I think that having healthy skin should be the goal.

Haha. My bestfriend is australian and she says she wishes she was as tan as me. And my boyfriend is also australian and says he loves it. I don't know, I just wish I was comfortable with the skin I was in.

 

[LoveMakeup4Real]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm I've never met a guy that likes darker skin tones. That's just me though...

Exactly, that's just YOU! Your lack of self-esteem is so evident it's see-through. If you do not like yourself how could you expect any guy to like you? Love yourself first, everything about yourself, from the inside-out; and work on the things you do not like. Unfortunately, your skin tone is not something you can do much about unless you want to look like those celebrities who has gotten their skinned bleached and now look like something that came crawling out of the toilet. If so, then be my guest! Just please post pictures as I love a good laugh.

People need to develop a tough skin. I'm tired of hearing about "society" puncturing one's self esteem and image. Sure, that's true but you can't go through life blaming all your issues and insecurities on everyone but yourself. Accept how God made you, love you and be satisfied. It's just skin people, it's just skin!

 

[LoveMakeup4Real]

Anyway, to answer this; I love my skin, love being a Black woman, love everything about myself. I think people should stop this woe is me, wah-wah crap and start loving themselves too. I don't know, I guess I'm just tired of all this moaning and whining. I'm tired of people, period lol.

It's funny though, some people are just never happy no matter what. I'm sure if you were a lighter complexion you would then be complaining about wanting to be darker, tis is life. Some people tend to want what they can't have...opposites attract. There would not be so many tanning salons if that were not the case. Anyhow, good luck sulking in misery. A good therapist may be able to help you; book an appointment. I wish you the best, I sincerely do!

 

[Morena.Doll]

I love my complexion and I wouldn't change it for the world!!
I can wear pretty much any and every color.

It seems like you have a self-esteem issue.
Hopefully you'll become more excepting of yourself.