Life is hard

[babyjazy21]

I'm sorry ladies but I just don't have anyone to talk to and I felt that I could talk to you ladies.
Life has been so hard since I was a kid, my parents always argued and it affected me emotionally very bad. About four months ago I just couldn't take all the stress that was going on and tried to commit suicide. It was horrible I was rushed to the hospital, and had to go through counseling. My parents felt very bad but now four months later they are still arguing. When will this ever stop? I just feel like sometimes it's too much for me I can't handle the stress between them fighting, school, work and my bf. I just feel so lost again, I just cry about any little thing. I was told I have depression so that makes it even worse.
Sorry for venting, and thanks to those who read.

 

[Shaquille]

think positive..

I used to think my life was bad enough but then I realized that there are other people whose lives are worse..
stop thinking about your parents arguing.. maybe.. talk to them.. or whenever they argue, just shut yourself in your room, put your music on out loud, or just go out and go for a chocolate milkshake or something.
I wish you all the best..

 

[nunu]

I'm so sorry

maybe you could move out or something?

 

[darkishstar]

Heyyy... I feel you. I have the same issue.
My parents divorced when I was in about 2nd grade. But the thing is, it's like my dad never left. So they still fight and scream at each other. My mom is in denial about the divorce.. she also has schizophrenia.. so when it gets bad, it gets bad. And I'm 19 now, and it still goes on, even after I come home from college after a long time, it's like.. "Wow, I remember why I never come home."

I hate to say this, but I'm so used to it. I used to be like you and cry over it.. and everything.. but after a long time you block it out and get used to it. I kinda just... sit there when all the chaos goes around me and become a bit of a drone I guess. I pretend it's not going on. I know it sounds heartless.. but if there is nothing you can do about it at the moment, like you can't move out or anything, you have to learn to block it out and just ignore it and keep moving on with your life. If you think about it, it's not your fault that they argue, it's not because you're a bad person that this is going on in your life. It could happen to anyone, like it did to me, we're just unlucky you know? So I don't think you should get depressed over it.

I mean, sure it's depressing that there's almost nothing you can do about it and you feel helpless, I still get into that funk sometimes. But do things you love, write out these thoughts, talk to friends. Get out of the house as much as you can helps too.

So just do the best you can, do what you love and don't stress out over it.. because as much as it hurts and pains me to say this.. they are your parents.. and there isn't anything you can really do about it.

 

[iio]

I was in the same situation as you were just a few years ago. My brother and I were in the middle of everything. My dad would ask me where my mom went or who she was with and so on...and I would know what she was up to but I didnt want to tell. And vice versa. They were both in their faults and they just brought my brother and I into their problems. I am still dealing with them fighting over money, drugs, and their affairs.

It still affects me but I try to block it out. I try to spend more time with my friends and my bf. I know its hard but the best thing you can do is try to ignore it and let them deal with it. Maybe you can suggest to them that they can do some counseling?

The only best advice I can give you is keep yourself busy. That is what I have been doing and every now and then I still cry thinking and wishing how I wish that things were how it used to be. But its not...you have to live your life and be happy. Surround yourself with positive people as much as you can.

 

[babyjazy21]

Thank you so much ladies you can't imagine how much this helps. Just knowing that others go through what I'm going through. I try to go out but it's hard because I feel like staying home and just thinking of things. It's really hard on me because there is so much going on I feel frustrated not knowing what went wrong with my family. I always feel like it's my fault because I think maybe if I was there I couldve stopped the arguement. I just wish things could get better. Me almost dying wasn't a wake up call for my parents... So what is?
I'm sorry I'm just typing so much because I'm feeling so depressed right now.

 

[lafemmenoir]

Hiya,
I am sorry you are dealing with this; however, TRUST ME, don't let your parents drama drive you to harm yourself. They have been together for some time and it may be toxic, but they are unaware of the impact it has on the family.
Now, I strongly suggest you get into therapy of some sort. Talk to one or both of your parents if you are underage about medical benefits if they have them. If not, contact your school nurse and see if you can get a list of providers through the school. If you are over 18, there are associations and support groups for depression but you sound like you need one on one with a licensed therapist. Maybe you can contact the place where you were previously treated? Last, there is nothing you can do about the dynamics of your parents marriage. It would be great if families were happy but it's not realistic as people do have conflicts. About your bf? He is the least of your worries unless he is a support system, you really need to take care of you and your parents don't love you less when they fight.

 

[sharkbytes]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I know just how you feel, and honestly I used to just put on a set of headphones and let whatever music I was listening to give me that hug and help me forget about what was bothering me. It absolutely isn't your fault, and if you feel that you might harm yourself, you need to contact SOMEBODY to talk to. It always seems bleak and depressing when you try to wrap your brain around a hard situation, but sometimes just talking to even a stranger can make you feel better.

Feel free to vent anytime.

 

[kimmy]

have you tried contacting support groups or hotlines? they can work wonders, if you want i can pm you a few good places to start.

just remember that they're fighting with each other, and it isn't your fault. sometimes people just don't get along, and that's their problem. i know it sucks to see them fight and argue, but try not to worry about it...easier said than done, i know...but we're here when you need to let it all out.

 

[nunu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkishstar Heyyy... I feel you. I have the same issue. My parents divorced when I was in about 2nd grade. But the thing is, it's like my dad never left. So they still fight and scream at each other. My mom is in denial about the divorce.. she also has schizophrenia.. so when it gets bad, it gets bad. And I'm 19 now, and it still goes on, even after I come home from college after a long time, it's like.. "Wow, I remember why I never come home." I hate to say this, but I'm so used to it. I used to be like you and cry over it.. and everything.. but after a long time you block it out and get used to it. I kinda just... sit there when all the chaos goes around me and become a bit of a drone I guess. I pretend it's not going on. I know it sounds heartless.. but if there is nothing you can do about it at the moment, like you can't move out or anything, you have to learn to block it out and just ignore it and keep moving on with your life. If you think about it, it's not your fault that they argue, it's not because you're a bad person that this is going on in your life. It could happen to anyone, like it did to me, we're just unlucky you know? So I don't think you should get depressed over it. I mean, sure it's depressing that there's almost nothing you can do about it and you feel helpless, I still get into that funk sometimes. But do things you love, write out these thoughts, talk to friends. Get out of the house as much as you can helps too. So just do the best you can, do what you love and don't stress out over it.. because as much as it hurts and pains me to say this.. they are your parents.. and there isn't anything you can really do about it.

I am so sorry to hear this

, pm me if you need to talk.

 

[mafalda]

jazy,

please see what happened four months ago as an opportunity to reach out for help for some more time - if you just block it out, you will be able to function for a while (and that while may last a couple of decades, actually), but if you don't figure out positive strategies to cope with what has happened, it will come back later on.
So, make sure you get another good share of counseling and make sure you find out which kind of therapy might be right for you. And also try and find your own place to live, not with your bf, but just for you (or friends).

*hug*

mafalda

 

[florabundance]

You sound like you want to escape. But sometimes that isn't the answer. Instead, learn to adapt to your difficulties and work WITH them as opposed to making your life all about the bad stuff. So, if your parents fight and argue - try your best to help. If you can't, dust it off, and go do something you love with someone you love...or all by yourself. Try and discover new interests or involve yourself with old ones. It's not that these interests will be the magic cure and always make you feel good, but they'll give pro's to the con's of life.

I know where you're coming from. The past few months haven't been the easiest for various (similar) reasons, but trust me - if you really look hard enough - there will be something either internally that is a part of you or externally, like a person, friend, interest or whatever..that will make you fall in love with life. The key i think is seeking out the path that you want to follow. Even if it's vague, find or consider some sort of idea where you see yourself. And whenever something shitty happens that reminds of the crap of everyday life, it'll be a huge help to remember where you wanna be and how you're gonna get there..and so on.

I hope to help even a tiny bit.
xx

 

[babyjazy21]

Thank you soo much to each and everyone one of you. Seriously i never ever thought that i would find wonderful people like all you ladies on specktra

. I'm so thankful to have found this site (thanks Janice!). I really felt I just needed some advice and all you ladies made me feel so much better. Thank you for being there for me and being the best support system.

 

[darkishstar]

And if it also helps, I don't let this stuff try to bring me down anymore. I know that as long as I work hard in school, whatever I can to get myself out of here and be the best I can be, I WILL be happy. I can settle down, move out and live my own life, away from their shadow. So whatever you do, don't let it bring you down, you can overcome this. I know I can, so I don't get depressed, it makes me work all that much harder at my schooling and everything, so I can get away.

But maybe I give bad advice, but that's how I figured out my own situation. :/ Hope it helps a little, but probably talking to someone or a professional will help.