Loving someone who can never love you back?

[Rudyru]

Of course it's the same old story most of the time, but when you fall in love with someone who is not into your own gender at all makes you feel kind of hopeless. Of course it's not your fault, but you always wonder...how everything would be if he'd/she'd just look at you the way you wanted to. Looking for any glimpse of hope. You'll search their every movements, looking for a tell, but in the end, all you can do is hope.

Have any of you felt this feeling before? For me, falling head over heals in love with a straight guy is absolutely disheartening. Knowing that he'll never consider me makes me a big distraught. Now, I'm not one to push, so I'll never fawn over him and try to make him fall in love with me, but every little bit I can get with him is pure bliss. I'm weird though, as I consider myself somewhat genderqueer and do not associate myself with either gender binary...but all everyone will see me as is a gay 'boy' falling in love with another boy.

Anyway, this got waaaay to deep. lol Anyway, let's just discuss:
Falling in love with others who cannot love you back.

 

[kaliraksha]

I don't believe that there are people who can "never" love you back. I think love is too unpredictable to really know that about anyone. I mean we've all seen the couples out there or the people that claim they're in love (um, brother and sister? ew).

However, I do think that the one person you should love more than anything is yourself... and stop torturing yourself when it isn't going to happen and find someone who wants to be with you and appreciates you.

I have been in that unrequited love position a few times... maybe I was a little bit of an emotional masochist because I enjoyed my longings for him. Granted, it would have been like 10x better to be with him. Or maybe I built him up so much that if I had been with him it would have disappointed me. Regardless, everyone has their own personal limit of how much yearning they can take before it's torture and you should respect and acknowledge your own limit.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Unrequited love is so hard, especially when the odds are very much against you. Even though it is difficult, getting over the person is the best solution. I don't believe in fate or destiny or the one true love thing. I think allowing yourself to fall further for someone is just asking for heartache.

 

[ClaireAvril]

why waste time wondering.. hoping and wishing for someone to love you back. Move on and find the person who is really meant for you. What will be will be.

 

[FlashBang]

Ive never been in love with someone before but I have had a number of guys that Ive wanted to be with badly who have been in relationships - I dont want to be a bunny boiler so no matter how much Ive ever really liked a guy, Id never steal him from another girl.

I agree with the girls here, if you cant have him dont torture yourself by wishing you could be. But just because you cant be with him, doesnt mean you cant enjoy his company and appreciate him as eye candy lol.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Yeah the whole unrequited love thing blows. I'm experience the exact thing right now. I know everyone says to move on and you'll eventually find someone who will love you back and stuff but what do you do when this person shows you affection in a romantic way but tells you that he doesn't want a relationship?

It also sucks on the other end too, when someone you dont love falls in love with you.

 

[Cinci]

I have always felt, that loving someone who will never love you back is the most heartbreaking thing in the world.

although, if he's not into guys.. atleast you know it's not your fault, and its simply that he doesn't like men.. i think it would be worse if he DID like men, but just didnt love you.. ya know?

Now, I've never been in your exact situation, so I don't know how it feels.. But I loved someone who would never love me back.. and I always used to think to myself thngs like "why her and not me.. why am i not good enough? what's so great about these other girls that I don't have? what's wrong with me?"