Making New Friends in College

[TangoMango]

I know this is really strange of me asking how to make new friends in college, but seriously, how do you do it?

I know sound like a tool, but most of my friends in highschool became my friends by accident and they're not exactly great friends (make plans without me, make snide comments, etc.). I'm hoping that when I move to my new town and go to college, I can make new friends there.

The problem is, I'm not the outgoing type. It's hard for me to go up to someone and introduce myself to them. In middle school I tried this tactic, but it didn't work, so that soured my view on making friends. I usually wait for people to come and introduce themselves to me, but it seems like the wrong people are coming up to me.

What are great ways to make friends, especially in college (besides classes)?

*Sorry for this silly sounding topic, but I'm being serious.

 

[Love Always Ivy]

i know going to college is daunting - its a big transition and somewhat of culture shock, but you have to remember that youre not the only apprehensive freshman there. you have all these other kids that are the same year as you and that are nervous and worried as hell about making friends, fitting in, and transitioning into collegiate life.

my best suggestiong to you is to get involved on campus, be friendly in classes, make nice with people that live in your dorm.

i met alot of friends during orientation, or making friendly with kids i saw in multiple classes or always saw in the library or something. this sounds bad , but freshman year my small group of friends came together because we were all engineering majors in the same dorm building that smoked massive amounts of pot. not that im saying you need to do drugs to get friends, but im saying youll find people with stuff in common with you. its even easier when you get involved in campus activities that fit your interests - join the newspaper, a greek org, honor society, a club related to your major or religion or political affiliation.

it depends what kind of campus you are at. my campus is mostly a "backpacking school". huge campus, 30,000 students, mostly commuters who come to class with their little backpacks and cant be bothered to talk to anyone. its really hard to meet people on my campus, so thats why i joined a sorority my sophomore year (not that my involvement in my sorority is purely social - i have leadership conventions and networking opportunites and philanthropic work)

HTH.

 

[Beauty Mark]

How I met my college friends:

-Classes. I know you wanted besides classes, but I met a few during classes, because we worked together. It's good because you meet people and it's helpful if you miss class or can't grasp a concept
-Dorms/meals. I met people that way. Because no one likes to eat alone, a few of us would go to dinner together
-Activities/job. You have something in common at least and you're building your resume. A good way to combine dorm meeting and activities is be on the dorm council.

Depending on where you go to college, you could also make friends in the town area. Attend talks, lectures, etc. Good luck! A lot of people are in your boat when they first get to college, so I'm sure you'll make some nice new friends

 

[mena22787]

i'm in my third year right now and i go to a really small commuter school in rhode island. i live on campus and have some really awesome friends but my first semester of my first year was really tough for me.

i'm really shy until i warm up to people, then i get really loud and outgoing. if you're living on campus keep your door open as much as possible when you're in your room so you can meet your suitemates!! everyone's nervous about making new friends, etc. so you're all in the same boat. just be friendly and yourself.

talk to the students around you before class starts, even small conversation is good, and eventually you'll get to know them and make friends that way.

joining clubs is a good way to meet people too. just keep a positive attitude and remember that you're all a little nervous so you may have to take the initiative and introduce yourself to them! good luck!

 

[Love Always Ivy]

cracking jokes about professors is a good icebreaker.

 

[macslut]

I was extremely popular in my undergraduate. I mean I had people saying hi who I didn't know. How did I do it?? I got involved on campus. Community service is a good way. If you have an (good chapter of )Alpha Phi Omega or Circle K organization, that is a good place to start. Think about your own interests, and then find organizations that match those. Good friends typically come from those with similar wants and needs.

 

[Krasevayadancer]

The best thing you can do is get involved and be social. If there is a carnival or a sporting event-go! If there are clubs that interest you, do that too. The only way to make friends is to put yourself out there

 

[MisStarrlight]

I met most of my friends from college at work (I worked on campus) and one or two good ones from within my major (we had so many classes together it was near impossible not to be friends).

If you find one or two friends in your classes/dorm (your roomie perhaps)/etc, you can usually build your circle of friends around that. You bring your friend, they bring a friend & it builds like that....at least that's how it worked for me when I was in school.

 

[astronaut]

If you're going to have on campus housing, it's pretty guaranteed that you're going to make friends. If not, try joining some groups/clubs.

 

[user79]

Getting involved with extra curriculars like sports or clubs is a great way to meet, classes are hard to meet people, at least it was in my university. Also, if you live in dorms you'll prob meet lots of people.

 

[TangoMango]

Thanks for the tips everyone!

I forgot to add that I won't be living on campus, I'm living with my mom, but our new house is 20 minutes or so away from campus. I'm excited!

My school is having a family orientation in August, so I'm definitely going to that. Also, my schedule is weird and on Tuesdays, I have 3 hours to spare until my next class, so I'm wondering if I could go to the school gym during that time.

Also, I'm hoping to get job on the campus and join some clubs, but I'm going to look around first.

Thank you everyone!

 

[xbeatofangelx]

I think that classes are a difficult way to meet good friends. After just a few months, you may not see them again.

Joining a greek organization is a good way to make close friends, but I feel kind of socially limited - I pretty much can only be friends with people who are affiliated in my sorority, or our brother fraternity.

However, the friends i have made through my sorority, are probably the best i could ever hope for.

 

[Beauty Mark]

If your major is small or if you're taking lab/seminar classes, you can make friends within your classes, since you'll probably see the same people over and over again. You can also just click with someone and keep in touch.

I think it's generally easier, though, if you're a science/math major and your school encourages working together in study groups. Seeing everyone at least once a week before a problem set is due was not only academically beneficial but also socially

 

[AfricanaEyes]

Go to on campus activities and join the Facebook to see what's going on. Oh....and live in a dorm. It kind of sucks, but you'll meet the best (ahem, and the worst) folx living in a dorm.

 

[xiahe]

i basically met all of my friends through classes. the first week was kind of hard because the people who were normally stuck up biotches in highschool still acted like they were the only people that mattered in the world but then they realized that you can't be like that and make friends so eventually everyone just kind of opened up...but other suggestions would be to just get involved in campus, try to start conversations with people that you sit next to in class or people you meet on campus...did you try joining a sorority?

 

[macslut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xiahe i basically met all of my friends through classes. the first week was kind of hard because the people who were normally stuck up biotches in highschool still acted like they were the only people that mattered in the world but then they realized that you can't be like that and make friends so eventually everyone just kind of opened up...but other suggestions would be to just get involved in campus, try to start conversations with people that you sit next to in class or people you meet on campus...did you try joining a sorority?

This reminds me of a story. When I was beginning my junior year, I was sitting in the union, and overheard two obviously freshmen women. One said to the other "We have to get in with the popular crowd". I turned to her and said, "Honey this campus has about 30,000 students. There is no popular crowd."

Most people find that liberating.

 

[TangoMango]

I don't think my college has a sorority. Sororities aren't really big in Canada. They're starting a dance team on my campus, so maybe I'll try my luck there, although I haven't danced in 6 years

.

 

[xiahe]

Quote:

Originally Posted by macslut This reminds me of a story. When I was beginning my junior year, I was sitting in the union, and overheard two obviously freshmen women. One said to the other "We have to get in with the popular crowd". I turned to her and said, "Honey this campus has about 30,000 students. There is no popular crowd." Most people find that liberating.

rofl it's so funny when people think that...college isn't like highschool, thank god for that (i hated highschool b/c of how immature people were and all of the drama and everything)

 

[AndreaLeigh]

Yep, clubs are your best bet if you won't be living on campus. Just pick something that interests you and poof! instant friends because you are around people you know you have something in common with.

 

[kaliraksha]

Yes, you can definitely do whatever you want during your 3 hour break. I remember my Freshmen year I was sitting at the library downstairs where people don't study they sit around and talk and I was talking to a group of people and they invited me to go bowling at the Union between two of my classes and I freaked out. I was like "during school??"- but yeah you can do whatever you want =)

Also, if you are going to study- don't study at home. Go to the library so you have a chance to meet someone. You seem really sociable online so set up study groups through email for your shared classes.