menopauseeee :(

[kimmy]

so...my sister left for college like two years ago and right before she left, my mom started going through menopause. it's been getting worse ever since then. when it first started, she had slight mood swings. but now, i'm about to be 18 in two months and i'll be moving out and it seems like that's only making it worse.

she woke me up at 6 on tuesday morning to tell me how much of a disappointment i was and blah, blah, blah. no biggie, at 6am i don't comprehend ANYTHING so it's not like i was torn up about it really. when i thought about it later i was kinda pissed though

then she told me how i can't miss anymore school because i need to graduate. alright, i get it. so i get up and get ready and when i'm about to leave for school, my car is gone. i call her at work with a "what the hell? why'd you take my car?" and she seriously says "you didn't seem like you were in a good mood and i don't want you driving if you're not feeling well" my school is 10 miles away, no car=no school. then she called my dad to tell him i'd been out everynight all night and that i've been leaving her house without permission and that on monday night i never came home (not true. sunday night, i went down to cypress to talk business given we had a little bit to drink, i wsn't drunk and certainly was not out all night. i was home at 915. monday night, i went to my boyfriend's house for an hour because his mom asked me over for a bbq, i was home at 830 that night. keep in mind, i had her permission for both of these outings, i called her when i got to where i was going and called her when i left for home, it's not like she didn't know where i was) luckily, my dad is well aware of the situation at hand and he knows i wouldn't do that because i know not to violate their trust that way. i'm always home BEFORE my curfew, never after.

but...what am i supposed to do with this? these mood swings are getting a bit much for me to handle. and then she guilt trips me when she sees me looking at apartments or something...but seriously, i'd planned on moving out at 18 for my whole life, and especially if things are like this, i'm most definately moving out as soon as i can.

i'm trying to be sensitive and understand this because i know she can't help it. it's menopause, it's biology and there's nothing you can do to stop/fix it. i'm just wondering how to go about this now though. i've tried being nice to her, i've tried just not bothering her, but nothing's working like no matter what i do, everything seems to make it worse.

what do i do now?

ps. sorry for such a long post, i just needed to vent a little and i really need some advice on how to handle this whole thing haha

 

[IslandGirl77]

Is your Mom taking her happy pills? I was raised by my Grandmother, and when she started that...she got her pills. After she started taking her pills she was all good. I know Mom's can be aggrevating sometimes, even worse when they are going throught that change. It's not their fault though. I would just try and stay low key I guess. When my Grandmother was going through her moods, I just tried to stay away. Maybe you should talk to her about it. Maybe, she's sad that you want to move and doesn't know how to tell you about it. Your sister left, and now you want to leave...maybe she's feeling like she'll have nothing after your gone. Maybe you should just talk to her.

 

[pumpkincat210]

My mom has been going through menoupause for the last 6 years.. that's partly why i moved out. She refuses to take any medication and she takes it out on anyone around her. I just hope it ends soon.

 

[DaisyDee]

Have you had a heart to heart with your mom about your feelings? Sometimes people need to REALLY KNOW how they are affecting those around them...a kind of wake-up call that her moods swings are not just hard on her, but on those around her as well.

It's so hard, I know, as I've had some hormonal troubles that gave me MAD CRAZY mood swings and I had to WORK REALLY HARD to remember that it was not the fault of those around me that I was struggling...I had to remind myself that those were the folks who LOVED me.
I've also been on the other side of the fence...my mom suffered from depression/anxiety/bi-polar disorder most of her life and it ultimately ended her life abrubtly not too long ago...so I've watched someone struggle and experienced how much it can suck to be around someone going through mood swings.
Maybe approach her to talk your feelings out, telling her first that you love her very much...a positive approach is a great way to start a talk.
She might need medicine. Maybe show her some research on the net about the benefits that some meds can have on menopause/mood swings, etc...

My _bottom line_ advice to you though is not to leave angrily or without trying to come to some sort of peace with each other. About a year before my moms death, I told her I would no longer watch her kill herself with her addictions and I basically cut her out of my life...but THANKFULLY, I changed my mind after about 3 months because I realized she didn't want to be that way...and I just made peace with it the best way I could. She was dead within months of that and I thank GOD that the last time we talked before her death, I told her I loved her and there was no fighting.

Best of luck to you.

 

[kimmy]

thank you all. i've definately taken all this advice to heart and i'm gonna work on things with her

 

[Chelly]

join the club girl - my moms a damn head case - if i dont get outta this house soon i'm going to go crazy!!! lucky you - you still can go away to college - i didnt even have that option!! omg im getting upset writing this - 22 years with my mom who is either wonderful or unfuckingbareable!!!!!!

 

[user4]

its so wierd, my mom's been going through this for like 5 years now and she's never like this. i think she's taking hormones, but i'm not quite sure. i lived with her until 2 1/2 years ago and she never gave me problems. if anything, her mood swings consist on her getting a bit depressed and sad but nothing mean or anything. i am so sorry you are going through this. have you tried talking to her about the problem when she's in one of her "good moods"? does she have a lot of friends, if not maybe she just doesnt have anyone to vent to so she takes it out on you. i would say try to talk to her and tell her you're there if she needs to talk and stuff...

 

[Chic 2k6]

awww *hugs* my mom's going through with it, but she takes 'happy' tablets, they're not drugs but like a herbal remedy putting it that way, and when she doesnt have it for more than 2 days, shes a nutcase =| so maybe you could talk to your mom about taking the happy tablets? after a few days you can most definately see the difference and she'll less likely to pick on you