Moving out, Can someone enlighten me on the pros and cons of moving with strangers?

[Boasorte]

Oi everyone!
Ok so IDK if you've seen my thread I started I think in June (http://www.specktra.net/forum/f211/i...meless-142176/ )

But long story short for those who haven't : I got kicked out of my place, moved in with my other family, but they don't want me here either, so I NEED to leave before the semester is up!!!
I have a part time job as a home health aide/nurse aid whatever they call it now a days. Since my agency doens't pay me well, and I can't leave them until I work 6 full weeks, I've decided to take out a Stafford Loan ( unsub)
I will be getting about $3,200 at the end of October, and other $1,000 or so from leftover Pell money.
My plan was to go to a college that has dorming, but in case I don't get accepeted I need a backup plan, which is where the "stranger" part comes in

I listed an ad on Craigslist looking for a roommate in my area, and I've gotten responses back, but I just want to know the pros and cons of living with a roommate, and if anyone can offer advice?

I can't afford my own place unless I DO have a roommate, and all my friends that want to move on their own, either I don't trust with paying rent on time, or dont make enough money

PLEASE HELP!

 

[paperfishies]

Well, you never know what you're going to get in a roommate. Are you going to walk in one day and are they going to have a dozen shady ass people sitting in the living room doing drugs? Are they going to steal from you? Invite their friends over who may steal from you?
You have no idea what kind of obnoxious habits they have. They may be a total slob that just leaves their stuff laying around.
My best friend got a roommate off of one of those roommate matching sites...She came in one day and the roommate was on the couch having sex with some guy she had brought home, lol.
So ya never know what you're going to get.

The only pro I can think of is, you have someone to share the bills with but that also has a downside. They may be late on bills every month...and if they're paying bills, you have to remember it's their house too and they may do some really obnoxious shit you don't like.

Honestly I would rather get a small place where I could pay all the bills myself and live on my own, rather than risk living with the next jeffery Dahmer.

Good luck!

 

[MamaMAC]

its hard getting a room mate especially one you don't know. if its a friend you kinda have an idea of what to expect but when you don't know the person its harder. like paperfishes said you can walk in an there be a ton of shady people. what if you get a smaller place like a studio apt?

 

[Boasorte]

I CANT AFFORD MY OWN PLACE, that includes a studio. IDK where u guys live, but in New YOrk City, and in Westchester County, a studio costs $1,000.
I work part time

 

[gildedangel]

Try to meet with the people before you move in so that you can get some idea of what they are like. If they are hardcore druggies or something, you will probably get that vibe at the first meeting, ya know? It's a risk, but even if you hate them, you can save up some more money and move elsewhere. It wouldn't be permanent.

 

[chynegal]

you dont know who to trust now a day....maybe u can find someone who is renting even just a room. when i lived with roomates we had to set down rules and stuff so everyone could live in peace

 

[Boasorte]

this isn't set in stone, this is just a backup plan, in case my first plan doens't work out
On craigslist, I've seen some weird ads for example, one guy saying, and I quote " You will only be able to use the living room if I want you to"
like is that normal? I though when renting out with a roommy, u share kit,bath,and lr?

 

[TISH1124]

Craigslist Scares me....Seriously...Not trying to be a party pooper but it is not what it used to be..there are some Crazy ass people on there...be very careful and as selective as you can....
Every since that dude that was murdering people by night and 100% normal by day..I have been very cautious of it

 

[nichollecaren]

I would seek recommendations, particularly from people in your circle. i.e. if you go to school, put up an ad on the notice board, or if u go to church, as your pastor...etc. Its more likely that you will find someone that you at least have something in common with.

The pros I have experienced (Living with a guy and a gal):
I never have to worry about having my keys, one of us was always in
We split the chores
Bills were less, split three ways
The company

Cons:
My treats never survived a night in the fridge!
My roommate's friend was always trying to hit on me (meh)
She would 'borrow' my clothes
It was uncanny how she always seemed scantily clad when my BF would come over

I've already said it, if i'm ever gonna room with anyone again, its gonna be a guy who I trust.
he wont want my clothes, makeup, or boyfriend. My male roomie was awesome.

 

[TISH1124]

The only person I ever roomed with was my gay bff...And he was a hoot all the time...when he was there that is...he spent most nights at his dudes place..But he was clean, neat, honest and I never had a problem with him...If I looked busted...he would 100% tell me and not try to sugar coat it...I love Donnie!! He is my bff to this day

 

[Strawberrymold]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chynegal you dont know who to trust now a day....maybe u can find someone who is renting even just a room. when i lived with roomates we had to set down rules and stuff so everyone could live in peace

I agree with this, if you do end up having a roomy just make sure you both agree on the rules... and don't be shy... get everything you are okay with and not okay with out in the open. Make sure you do this in person too. If you can see their response you will be much more able to gauge if they are lying or not. In areas like NYC where rent is much more expensive I have found that a lot of people get stuck in situations where they end up rooming with people
they can't stand because they don't have a choice.

It sounds like you are planing ahead which is good. Talk to people you go to school with and see if anyone else has gone through the same thing and see what resources they have used. Honestly though, I wouldn't try to find a roomie on Craig's List though. There are lot's of agencies that specialize in screening roommates, especially in major cities. I would use one of these instead. Check the better business bural to see which agencies are legit and stick with one of these, they screen for drug use and police records and such.

Hope that helps!

 

[kaliraksha]

I've had bad room mate situations from people I've known and my bf has had good room mate situations from people he doens't know at all... so I think in some ways it's the luck of the draw. Just with people you know you want to think you know what you're getting yourself into.

The only thing I would definitely do with time is require that you guys get to know each other before you sign the lease, not before you move in. At least a little. With that you can get whether you jive, what kind of living environment you guys are after, and possibly even set up some ground rules.

Having ground rules in writing has really helped me with room mates. Things you both agree upon before moving in together and any of the problems arise. Great things to talk about (maybe second meeting after you guys realize you like each other enough):

-temperature of AC/Heat
-rent when it's late- how to deal with it, who deals with it, who pays fees
-cleaning of common areas- how that's handled and with what frequency
-guest/people spending the night
-whether you will divide stuff that is used by the common areas (toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies) also how it's divided
-what to do if you guys mutually agree it's not working.. such as can that person stay and help til you find a sublettor?

I will say that I think trying to make it work with a room mate is not the worst thing in the world and I would prefer it to living with my family where there is no room for me (if that's the case). Just try to get to know them as much as possible... before you meet them you guys should trade MySpace/Facebook type pages and see what they're about. I also might give you the tip to try and find a room mate at a place where you frequent so that maybe you have a chance of having something in common with them. Lastly, sometimes random room mates are good... they're not your friends so they are more reserved about being a good room mate because they know they don't have the "We're friends we'll get over anything" thing.

You can also always try a co-op if those are available in NY. It's like a dorm room, but they're cheaper because you help in with the work that needs to be done... it's very family style and you can meet lots of people. Or you can try to be the room mate with flexiblity and rent a room out of someone elses place... that way if it doesn't work you can move or if it does work you did it with little risk.

 

[Boasorte]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1124 Craigslist Scares me....Seriously...Not trying to be a party pooper but it is not what it used to be..there are some Crazy ass people on there...be very careful and as selective as you can.... Every since that dude that was murdering people by night and 100% normal by day..I have been very cautious of it

I'm not too fond of CL either, Tish, especially with all the scams, but the other websites I've been on,(roommates.com etc,) they want you to pay in order to contact " potiential roommys" and I've no idea of any other free popular site. But yes that Craigslist Killer scared the hell outta me too!


Why haven't I thought of the BBB? that's such a good idea!

I'm not sure what you mean by co-op, if you're talking about those buildings with rooms on one floor, and like the whole floor shares a bathroom, I don't think I can do it.....

Also, idk if I didn't word myself right, it would be renting a room, but on a monthly basis isntead of paying weekly

And now that I think of it, one of my friends also has a roommate, I think she found her online, I'm gonna ask her for a reccomendation

sometimes living in NYC is so frustrating because I cannot afford anything, and Westchester COunty where I used to live and would rather live, is 2x more expensive

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

pros: you don't know them so friendships can't be ruined if u don't get along
you meet a new person that can potentially become a good friend

cons: they might steal your shit, be annoying/inconsiderate and just an overall bad roommate.
this will cause stress.

i've had bad and good roommates. mostly bad. but mainly cuz i think girls usually hate on me and start shit with me.

my first roommate in college was actually an acquaintence from high school. her bf was over every weekend (he was dirty and never showered and was a smart alec) and never asked me if it was okay for him to stay over. she would pick his EARWAX in the room which was suuuper gross and uncomfortable for me. we had different schedules (i stayed up till 4 am hanging out with the other hallmates, woke up after noon for class and she went to bed at 10 pm, woke up at 8am for class). needless to say, we're not friends anymore.

my second year roommate freakin was a jealous bitch. she hated this one girl and i was close with that girl so in turn, she hated me. she wrote hate comments about me to her other friend (who happens to be in the same hall as me) and call me slutty, etc. I moved out within a week or two. We're not friends anymore. haha

my third year roommate is now my best friend.

so it really depends. hopefully you can sort of get to know your potential roommate and see if you have stuff in common with them. hopefully he/she will be a considerate/caring roommate if you decide to choose them

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsWestchesterNY I'm not too fond of CL either, Tish, especially with all the scams, but the other websites I've been on,(roommates.com etc,) they want you to pay in order to contact " potiential roommys" and I've no idea of any other free popular site. But yes that Craigslist Killer scared the hell outta me too! Why haven't I thought of the BBB? that's such a good idea! I'm not sure what you mean by co-op, if you're talking about those buildings with rooms on one floor, and like the whole floor shares a bathroom, I don't think I can do it..... Also, idk if I didn't word myself right, it would be renting a room, but on a monthly basis isntead of paying weekly And now that I think of it, one of my friends also has a roommate, I think she found her online, I'm gonna ask her for a reccomendation sometimes living in NYC is so frustrating because I cannot afford anything, and Westchester COunty where I used to live and would rather live, is 2x more expensive

u can try advertising on facebook marketplace. it's free and a lot of college people see it.

 

[Willa]

Make sure you have a list in hands when you'll meet the person and look at the person reaction when you read the questions. It says a lot

I only had 2 roomates in my life, one that was kinda my best friend and it ended up that we dont talk anymore... and that one guy a girl I knew online refered me. He thought I was his mom and that I would do everything for him, he looked super clean and nice and it ended up he took showers every 4-5 days, ate my stuff, left without locking the doors, invited shady people...

I threw him out with my broom after 2 months

 

[Boasorte]

that's part of the reason I wouldn't want to room wirh friends, because I don't want to kill our friendship, even though I know how some of them live.
Another thing that's killing me is the smokers, like I already found a place, but everyone I've "interviewed" smokes!
My sister is telling me smoking is part of life and I need to deal with it, because they will be paying to live there too, but my thing is, so what if you're paying to live with me? I don't want cancer smoke in my lungs as a result from second hand smoking, so why should I deal with it??

It's just so frustrating sometimes, because I really need to leave the place I'm at now... why couldn't any Specktra ladies be looking for a roommate lol

 

[kaliraksha]

Keep your head up... there are smokers that keep to smoking only outdoors.

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha Keep your head up... there are smokers that keep to smoking only outdoors.

true but smoke gets in their clothes, hair, bags and it will still get into the house. =

 

[NutMeg]

My advice: be explicit in what you are looking for, both in terms of the apartment and the roommate. Sit down with them before you move in, talk about your expectations. Don't sugar coat this for fear of putting them off. If it puts them off, you wouldn't want to live with them anyway. Make sure you have good communication with them, talk about how you will handle problems and conflict (because they will come up). Talk about finances (who pays rent and bills, how is it divided), talk about cleaning and how that will be handled (be clear in your expectations of how clean you want it, and also in often you expect certain chores to be done). Talk about what kind of noise is reasonable and when, talk about having people over (who is allowed, how much warning you need to give). Talk about your lifestyle, and find out about theirs so you can see if they will be compatible.

Most of all, trust your gut. If you get a weird vibe, don't go through with it.