My life as I knew it is over...


Well-known member
Glad to see that you're doing better :)

But please remember that your ex is only human though. Nothing more, nothing less. Do not give him this much power over you. I know not everyone will agree...but I've come to learn that no man will ever have this much authority over my life again. I will no longer cry in front of a man and humiliate myself questioning his decisions, all the while making him feel like he is something above me, only boosting his ego. I say this because years ago I fell so deeply in love with this man I thought would one day be my husband. He was my first love, everything. To make a long story short, I had to break up with him because I no longer trusted him, I had suspicions that he was seeing another woman. When I got home I cried my eyes out, asked God why lol, isolated myself from the rest of the world, I was really down about this breakup, and we were not together as long as you were with your guy (3 years here, 9 years is a long time). But anyway, one day I realized that although it was OK to cry, let it all out, I had to move on with my life. I was no longer going to let this man, another human being like myself, have this much control and tight grip on me.

I told myself that he just didn't love me anymore, because if he did he would not let me go so quickly, he would fight to keep me in his life, he would not cheat on me, he would not leave me hanging like that, he would tell me he loved me back. I forced myself to recognize the truth; and the truth was that he was done with me... that the feelings I had for him weren't mutual. Once I did, I slowly but surely started to get better. Just remember that a man, is a man, is a man. I am not belittling men lol, but just don't treat him like he is a God/superior or anything belonging on a pedestal or anything but a human being. He has moved on, (and you're clearly doing the same). Your ex was not the man for you. I know after something like this we want a reason as to why it happened; why now, why us, why this, why that... I truly believe that everything happens for a reason (yes, cliche, but true, at least for me) but forget the question why and just accept it for what it is. He didn't have the decency to be sympathetic and give you a valid answer as to why he was leaving (especially after you've given him almost 10 years of your life), then he isn't good enough to remain in your thoughts. His loss!

And trust me, they do return! My ex tried to get me back but I refused to allow him to re-enter my life. He was indecisive about us in the past, he does not deserve another chance. Ignore him if/when he returns!

One day you'll look back at this point in your life and just smile (with your husband's arms holding you tight). You'll be alright
I wish you the best!


Well-known member
Hi there!

Just wanted to drop in and wish you well. I had a similar experience and although many years ago now I still remember the anguish - the tv watching all night to try and take my mind off it and how horrible it all was and all I can say is hang in there and do those little changes you mention as they will give you back your strength, It may not be a quick process but eventually you'll realise that you have started to smile again and found happiness and peace in your new life. I couldn't be happier now so it did all work out for the best but the pain is still in my memory as being a horrifc experience. I think you never fall as hard again - in my case my heart stays a little more protected now - but I grew into a different love the next time round because of it and that worked out better in the end.

I also gave up all the friends we shared and have to say that also proved to help the healing process so try not to worry about any of that sort of stuff. Just put your trust in yourself and do what you want to do - chances are your instinct will keep you safe and help you on your way.

Big hugs!!


Well-known member
I just want to wish you well and give some 'virtual' hugs. I know how you feel, words can't comfort much, but you will get to to point one day when you'll say - it doesn't hurt anymore. And you'll be so proud you'll actually be happy. (YES; this things do happen

I hope you're doing better now since it's a while since this happened. <3


Well-known member
very sorry to hear about your breakup....hugs from canada comin' your way....good for you, getting on with your life, though. a change of scenery and school might be just what you need. you'll need time to grieve the loss of your relationship for sure, that's totally natural, but it sounds like you're getting a lot better....that's really commendable. keep us updated and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. you sound like a very strong person, just being able to focus on the positive and not allowing yourself to stay in a bad place emotionally. one day at a time and before long you'll find yourself moving on without being sad at all


Well-known member
Reading your post was like reading one of my worst fears, since I've been with my husband 10 years, and there was a definite rough patch for a couple of years. It's better now, but in the back of my mind there's always the worry that at some point, he'll pull the rug from under me. That wouldn't scare me quite as much if we didn't have a child together.

I'm glad to see, though, that you are getting through it. I like that you want to go to school in Stockholm, I've always wanted to see that city!


Well-known member
I'm not great with advice and it's been a few months since this happened so I wish you the best and I hope things has gotten better.

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