lilithbloody
Well-known member
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- Thread starter lilithbloody
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blackeneddove
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
I was going to say the same thing. You mentioned you argued about the skiing in your post, but have you told him how this hurts you and makes you feel? Or did you just argue? I think he NEEDS to know how you're feeling and that you need support right now, because he's being a little bit inconsiderate. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you acted like this towards him. I can't really offer much advice on what to do but to talk to him, but I hope this stops and things get worked out for the best
I was going to say the same thing. You mentioned you argued about the skiing in your post, but have you told him how this hurts you and makes you feel? Or did you just argue? I think he NEEDS to know how you're feeling and that you need support right now, because he's being a little bit inconsiderate. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you acted like this towards him. I can't really offer much advice on what to do but to talk to him, but I hope this stops and things get worked out for the best
littlepickle
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
I know what it feels like to be my boyfriend's second choice, it's really hard, it happened more in the early days of our relationship. The way I changed this is by telling him how I felt when something happened, and why. Boys sometimes just don't realize. It sounds like you could both benefit from some communication. I know it can be easier to just argue and it can be really hard to sit down and have a discussion about what's going on but it sounds like that needs to happen and you will both feel better for it. Hope things improve hun xxxooo
I know what it feels like to be my boyfriend's second choice, it's really hard, it happened more in the early days of our relationship. The way I changed this is by telling him how I felt when something happened, and why. Boys sometimes just don't realize. It sounds like you could both benefit from some communication. I know it can be easier to just argue and it can be really hard to sit down and have a discussion about what's going on but it sounds like that needs to happen and you will both feel better for it. Hope things improve hun xxxooo
Goat Goat Etc.
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
^ 2nd. If you can't tell him in person show him this thread.
^ 2nd. If you can't tell him in person show him this thread.
vintageroses
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
You poor thing
i feel sad for you because you make so much effort & you guys have been tog for so long! Tell him how you feel & really do it soon, it's better that you try to settle this rather than drag it longer & it will just make you feel more upset! Tell us how it goes alrights? hugs*
You poor thing
roLLerGrrL
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
Don't show him the thread, he might be upset that you spoke about it to "strangers" (you know how men are).
It's a bit annoying that you & he had made these plans a month ago and now he's changing them. Maybe he is getting pressure on his end from his friends who invited themselves & is trying to be a friend to them, whilst still spending time with you next week?
Don't show him the thread, he might be upset that you spoke about it to "strangers" (you know how men are).
It's a bit annoying that you & he had made these plans a month ago and now he's changing them. Maybe he is getting pressure on his end from his friends who invited themselves & is trying to be a friend to them, whilst still spending time with you next week?
abbyquack
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
It seems that he's basically calling all the shots, and you're just going along with it. You have needs and you deserve to have them fulfilled, and if they are not getting fulfilled, you need to speak up and let him know what you want. It sounds like you've already done that, but be persistent and clear with him. Above all, don't lose yourself and your happiness out of fear of losing him. Good luck, love.
It seems that he's basically calling all the shots, and you're just going along with it. You have needs and you deserve to have them fulfilled, and if they are not getting fulfilled, you need to speak up and let him know what you want. It sounds like you've already done that, but be persistent and clear with him. Above all, don't lose yourself and your happiness out of fear of losing him. Good luck, love.
lilithbloody
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
I'm waiting a little before I talk to him again, I'm an easy tear person when it comes to express feelings and I want to have things clear in my mind so I could express myself.
Don't get me as a possesive person or anything, I like my bf to hang out with his friends but If he had already made a plan with me, their friends should had met our plan, not our plan met his friends.
At least he tried to amend the mistake by asking me to go skiing on saturday or the next week (but that's not the point).
Thank you for your support, I'll keep you updated
I'm waiting a little before I talk to him again, I'm an easy tear person when it comes to express feelings and I want to have things clear in my mind so I could express myself.
Don't get me as a possesive person or anything, I like my bf to hang out with his friends but If he had already made a plan with me, their friends should had met our plan, not our plan met his friends.
At least he tried to amend the mistake by asking me to go skiing on saturday or the next week (but that's not the point).
Thank you for your support, I'll keep you updated
Holy Rapture
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
I just wanted to add that to me it seems weird that you need to be worrying about things like being the second priority after a period of 7 years!! 7 years is not casual dating, it's commitment and commitment needs full care, from him just as from you. So, whatever you're feeling right now is totally justified.
I just wanted to add that to me it seems weird that you need to be worrying about things like being the second priority after a period of 7 years!! 7 years is not casual dating, it's commitment and commitment needs full care, from him just as from you. So, whatever you're feeling right now is totally justified.
kittykit
Well-known member
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
You should tell him how you feel honestly. Communication is very important. Men can't read our mind, hence, they always tell us women are so complicated
But are we? I don't think so!
I understand how you feel because it happened to me a few times. My bf would ask his bro or friends to join us when we're doing some outdoors activities together. So, I told him I don't mind hanging out with them but I also appreciate our time together. Ever since then, he'll ask if I want someone to join us before he invites anyone.
Good luck
You should tell him how you feel honestly. Communication is very important. Men can't read our mind, hence, they always tell us women are so complicated
But are we? I don't think so!I understand how you feel because it happened to me a few times. My bf would ask his bro or friends to join us when we're doing some outdoors activities together. So, I told him I don't mind hanging out with them but I also appreciate our time together. Ever since then, he'll ask if I want someone to join us before he invites anyone.
Good luck
Re: I'm my bf's second choice..
Quote:
after 7 years together you'd think he'd be your first priority anyway! but you definately need to sit down and chat about the way you feel about this. so i hope that all goes well for you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Rapture
I just wanted to add that to me it seems weird that you need to be worrying about things like being the second priority after a period of 7 years!! 7 years is not casual dating, it's commitment and commitment needs full care, from him just as from you. So, whatever you're feeling right now is totally justified. |
