Need To Let This Out. *help*

[KAIA]

I've been with my bf since january 2008, and we've been living together since may last year. BUT i keep thinking about
a guy I used to date, his name is Pete.
Pete and I met in highscool (year 2000) we studied together just for a year, and he was a funny friend. we were not
interested in each other. Time passed by and we accidentally met again back in december 2007 in some club (I was 22),
we recognized each other, we exchanged e-mails, right away we started to chat, the very same week we decided to go out
for a drink and we got intimate, THAT'S were all started... we were chatting countless hours every day. had great sex,
I loved to spent time with him, and I'm sure he did too, were seeing each other every day, and so... around the same
time Something very similar happenned again to me, I saw Jonathan (my current bf) we both studied together in college
for about two years, always liked him phisically, but never got to talk to each other because we had couples in that
time, but we were alone when we saw each other and he was very hot still... So I was completely confused! I was alone
just dating these 2 guys I really liked, I met them before so they were not strangers, and It was time for me to decide,
who I wanted to keep seeing...
Peter knew about Jonathan, I talked to him about it, that's when he decided to walk away, he sent an e-mail saying that
he was confused because his high-school sweetheart (Elise) was coming back to my country and he wanted to spent time with
her, but in the other hand it was me, but he was like - you're into Jonthan and I know you guys gonna end up together-
he wrote me 2 songs, gave them to me and said goodbye we won't see each other as 'THAT' but we still good friends.
I agreed to that, a week later Jonathan ask me if I wanted to be hid GF and I said yes, since then we've been together...
But I don't know what the HELL HAPPENED!!! that a little after that I started to think about Pete, to the point that
it was obvious, so obvious that Jonathan noticed it, and I came clean, I told him that I'm so sorry I hate lying but that
is the reality I keep thinking about Pete..and Jonathan said that he loves me so much, he's gonna help me to forget him, I
tried to do so as well... how? Well, I stop talking to him, not seeing him and at all, but that just didn't help, as soon
as I was sure I was over him, I would meet him up (accidentally) in a restaurant or wherever, and I would feel sad again and
of course Jonathan notices that all the time.
But I'm so stupid!
Last week, I had a confrontation with my biological father, I told him how I felt about him (on he abandoned me and etc)
and it really helped, kinda like a therapy i felt completely relieved after that, so in my stupid ass mind I thought it
would do the same with Pete, I wrote him an email, telling him how I felt about him, and that I'm sure he doesn;t like me
back, but I just wanted to let this feelings out... he answered me back, he said:
'I'm shocked right now, I know it feels f*cked up when your feelings are not corresponded'---- so yeah! he pretty much
confirmed but I thought but I didn't wanted to accept.
So I answered back, I said is ok, he doesn't have to feel pity for me I'll be alright.... and he said we could be friends still.... but he didn't answered me something I asked....i said: 'Well, just to end up everything with this...
Am I that f*ucked up for you?''
He didn't answered, he would answer other things, except that.. WHY?
By the way he knows Jonathan and I are still a 'couple'

 

[KAIA]

Geez! Thanks For Your Help!

 

[NutMeg]

You're kidding me. You post a giant wall of text about a confusing story and then get snarky when no one responds in 24 hours.

I'm not trying to get on your case, but I was way too confused by your post to reply.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

I second NutMegs post.

I also have to ask why you think we should all jump so fast to comfort and help your cheating behind.

 

[SakurasamaLover]

Didn't read that she is cheating behind, she chose someone but is confused because she thinks she should have go out with the other but don't know if the other would be in for since he gave up on her for an other girl.

Well the only thing is: would he go out with you? and is it really honest to stay with your boy friend if he's not your love... hum.

But the comment was rude.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SakurasamaLover Didn't read that she is cheating behind, she chose someone but is confused because she thinks she should have go out with the other but don't know if the other would be in for since he gave up on her for an other girl. Well the only thing is: would he go out with you? and is it really honest to stay with your boy friend if he's not your love... hum. But the comment was rude.

Oh, I'm sorry. Perhaps I interpreted this incorrectly.

"So I was completely confused! I was alone
just dating these 2 guys I really liked, I met them before so they were not strangers, and It was time for me to decide,
who I wanted to keep seeing..."

She was dating two guys at one time, and I'm not sure that they knew about that. She was basically stringing ONE of them along. Eventually, she committed to one guy, but was still constantly thinking about another guy and telling him about everything she's feeling. There are a number of ways to cheat, and that is emotional cheating IMO

It's rude, yes, but the truth tends to ruffle feathers.

 

[aziajs]

 

[SakurasamaLover]

It's just that for me cheating is when the other person is not aware of or agreeing with. If he knew all about it.. his choice to bear with it.

 

[rockin26]

For me and this is just my opinion, if your heart isn't with the one your with then it's best to let them go. It's not fair on either of you and it seems while you like Jonathon allot he doesn't fully have your heart.

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

I thought she meant she was just going on dates and interested in both of them, not that she was actually dating both of them officially. No idea :/

 

[Deathwish238]

Well you know Pete doesn't like you...so forget about him. There is no point wasting energy, time, and/or tears on him. Who cares why he didn't answer one question, it doesn't matter.

The question is what you do with Jonathon. That is something only you can decide. If you like him enough, stay with him and work through it. If you don't care enough, break up with him. Hard choice, but at least the options are simple. Pete is gone.

 

[Cinci]

Ok, well i'm sure there is more to the story, and i don't know all the positives and negatives or each of the guys.. but, in my opinion (sorry if you find this harsh)....

The grass isn't always greener.

Stop worrying about what you don't have, and be thankful for what you do have. You know how many girls out there can't find a nice, loving, committed man? You have a boyfriend who loves you enough to stick by you when he knows you're not giving him your all, and you are actually still contemplating and worrying and about another man and why he didnt answer one question??? Are you kidding me?? The way I see it, this should have been a wake up call for you. Forget about Pete, cause he's over you. As far as your current boyfriend goes.... I say either give it your all or if you don't love him enough to commit emotionally 100%, then let him go so that he has a chance to find someone who will love him as much as he loves her. There are a millon girls out there that would love to grab ahold of a man like him.

 

[milamonster]

honestly, and not to be rude...but it seems like you just need to be by yourself. JOnathan sounds like he is in love with you so of course he doesnt want to let you go and he "Wants" to make you forget about him. He can't do that and he hasn't so far. I'm not really sure why he thinks he can cuz he hasnt succeeded. I mean, you havent forgotten about him in all this time when you had an amazing, commited boyfrined, then im not sure what its going to take for you to latch on to JOn. It's not fair to JOn (but it is fair, since he agrees to it) and You're basically stringin jon along even though he seems to be ok with it, because he is in love and probably dependent on you (emotionally, like he doesnt want to let you go, know what i mean?) . I have to question why it is you're with JOn if your heart isnt in it? Are you afraid to be alone? Or do you really have feelings for JOn honestly and truly? I only say this because you can't get over Pete. THis other guy, Pete doesnt like you . Point blank. That's teh end of that story and hes said it clearly and quite blunty. So you need to move on because after that it gets desperate and too much stress and time spent on nothing. BUt the thing is...i mean, it seems youre still stuck even after PEte after he gave you a clear answer and should have crushed your dreams and you post this here.and want to know why he wont answer you when said he dioesn't like you...and so that's why i think you just need to have some time for yourself. To heal and get over Pete and also make your heart really available to accept/love others who think youre amazing like your bf jon
onc e again, not trying to be rude or mean but saying my opinion.

 

[Lyssah]

Sorry, I was going to read this - but the layout was really hurting my face. Paragraphs don't bite.

 

[florabundance]

Forget both of them. I don't mean to try and sound all pop psychologist..but it really seems like you're needing these guys as substitutes for the abandonment you felt when your father left.
You'll be stronger on your own, and then you can really work at loving someone without all the feelings of confusion.

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by florabundance Forget both of them. I don't mean to try and sound all pop psychologist..but it really seems like you're needing these guys as substitutes for the abandonment you felt when your father left. You'll be stronger on your own, and then you can really work at loving someone without all the feelings of confusion.

hey i didnt htink about this...but i do think you are right!