not really a problem...

[MAC is love]

This is just something I've been thinking about. I've been with my bf for almost 1 year now. I'm graduating HS in May, but I still don't know if I want to stay in town or go somewhere else. Anyway...so my bf & I are good right now. I'm happy & everything, I love him a lot.

He's told me before that he "honestly thinks I'm the girl he could marry someday" He knows he wouldn't want to now, but when he can support himself & his future wife. Now I've told him that I was sorry that I couldn't say "wow, me too!!" but that it wasn't something that I was totally rejecting or anything. I told him, "well ihdk right now, I'm young...I have A LOT of growing up to do..." & I've thought that if I leave for college, I think we will end up breaking up just b/c idk if I would feel comfortable not having him around with me & stuff. I've thought to myself, well I love him. I like how we are together. Would it be selfish for me to think that I would want to try to date other people to see if HE'S the right guy for me? I'm afraid of the possibility of losing him forever if I end up being wrong, but I also don't want to be with him & wonder if this relationship is really "right" for me. I mean, I believe if I'm really meant to be w/him, I'm sure God will find a way to stick us together

haha but anyway...just wondering what you ladies think. I'm young [17] he's almost 19...I'm totally not thinking of marrying him now or anything, I'm too young!! haha but it's just me wondering about some stuff.

 

[Nene]

Do what feels right. Don't worry about what he might think or what anyone else might think. Do it because you want to. I've been through that situation before. You're still young, you don't need to be stressing over this.

 

[saniyairshad]

Do what ur heart tells u to do because partly I'm thinking that ur thinking of the possibility if there is someone better out there. So I would suggest if u think u want to date other people that's okay too because you really are young.

 

[kaliraksha]

Oh, honey, I've been in that boat and I chose to stay with him and I don't regret it one bit. But, I will say that it's not right for everyone. I've always felt a bit more mature and grounded for my age and I've always been more confident about what I've wanted. Living in confusion is physically tiring.

As cliche as it sounds, do what your heart says, you know what is right for you. Don't worry about him, just worry about yourself and that's the best thing you can do for him.

I also believe that if he is the one then it will work out. Dating other people is a very effective way of knowing what you want out of a guy and getting to know yourself better in a relationship. Don't feel guilty for taking what you need.

<3

 

[kimmy]

do whatever you feel is right. how he reacts to anything you throw at him will really show you the measure of his character.

my ex was my first boyfriend, and when he started being serious about getting married, i told him we needed some time apart and i needed to date other people just to be SURE he's the right one. i told him that if we were really meant to be together, it wouldn't be long before we were. all i asked of him was to not be clingy during the whole thing and keep his jealousy at bay.

he couldn't do it. he still called me constantly and always asked me "you haven't found anyone else, have you?!" and it just showed me that he was too insecure and too effed up in the head for us to work. i finally ended it, and i'm much happier being done with the whole relationship.

i'm not saying yours will end or anything, but my point is that you'll learn alot about someone in a situation like this and that's a blessing in itself. to think i could have ended up marrying him and missing out on some of the experiences i've had with other people, good and bad, just makes me shudder. i'm so glad things turned out the way they did. he's not a horrible guy, but definately not the one for me and had i not taken that step, i would have never known.

 

[MAC is love]

I've brought it up before to him. It makes him sad and he hopes that it won't end, but he always tells me "as long as I'm happy" I guess I just feel bad b/c he cares about me so much.

 

[kaliraksha]

Sure you feel bad, but you would probably feel worse if he didn't care about you so much. I still really believe that if you care about him a lot then you should take care of yourself foremost. So that if he does get back with you again or whoever you date in the future will have you at 100% willingness with no regrets.

 

[swtginbug]

sometimes you have to think of yourself before you can think of someone else. how can i put it.. if you can't make yourself happy, others around will not be happy also.