_trimm_trabb
Well-known member
Okay, so this will be long and I apologize. But I think I should give you guys a little background info first.
My fiance (I'll call him K from now on) and I have been together for almost three years (engaged for one) and have been living together for two years. When we met I had a boyfriend so we were just "friends". And I never cheated or was unfaithful to my ex, but it was becoming clear even before I broke up with him that I was falling for K. Eventually I broke up with my ex and I've been with K ever since.
Right now we live together on campus at our university, but this spring I'm moving back in with my parents - not because of relationship issues, but because I'm switching schools (going to beauty school actually) and the school I will be going to is very close to their house, so it just makes sense (and I'm only 21, so they're happy to have me living with them).
Anyways, K is an amazing boyfriend. Absolutely anything any woman could want. I've always been super happy with him and have loved every second of being with him. He is my best friend - I enjoy going out with him and being with him and even shopping with him. He is so good to me and has always treated me better than any woman could ever want.
We got engaged last spring but don't plan on setting a date until we're both done with our respective schooling (just so that we can be financially secure).
Everything has been great until recently. In the past couple weeks, I've started to feel...trapped? And I don't quite understand why, as K has never been the controlling type - he is perfectly fine with me spending time with my girl friends and doing whatever. But it isn't that. I've had the distinct desire to be with other men. Not even in a serious relationship, I just feel like I want to go out to a club with my girlfriends and be able to flirt and dance and experience being single...I guess because I haven't been single since I was 16, and there's not much to being single when you're 16. I've never had the dating experiences or anything - I've only ever seriously (and sexually) been with two men, both of whom I was/am in 2-year plus relationships with.
This is so scary because I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. I haven't felt like this before and I'm worried that when I move out and am going to a different school and have a new group of friends that I'll be more tempted. And I don't want to hurt K. I still can really see myself spending the rest of my life with him. It's almost like I wish I hadn't met him yet. I wish I had met him four years from now, so that I could have had more experiences as a young person. I know this sounds crazy, but it's so hard to put into words.
The thing that makes this the hardest is that I am all he has. His family is awful and has kicked him out on multiple occasions for ridiculous things. He doesn't really have any super close friends he can talk to. He has casual buddies but that's it. I have great friends and an amazing family. He doesn't. And I really think that if I were to end things he could resort to self-harm or even suicide. I honestly think that.
The other night I mentioned feeling suffocated, and he got so upset. Not upset like mad, upset like her was hurt, confused, broken hearted, worried he wasn't making me happy, etc. I don't know what to do! I am in so much pain and it's so confusing.
Please help me out. Any advice you can offer would be amazing. It's hard to talk about this objectively with my friends because they all know K very well and would tell me I'm crazy (plus it might get back to him which would be awful).
Thanks in advance for any help, ladies (and gents). I appreciate it so much.
My fiance (I'll call him K from now on) and I have been together for almost three years (engaged for one) and have been living together for two years. When we met I had a boyfriend so we were just "friends". And I never cheated or was unfaithful to my ex, but it was becoming clear even before I broke up with him that I was falling for K. Eventually I broke up with my ex and I've been with K ever since.
Right now we live together on campus at our university, but this spring I'm moving back in with my parents - not because of relationship issues, but because I'm switching schools (going to beauty school actually) and the school I will be going to is very close to their house, so it just makes sense (and I'm only 21, so they're happy to have me living with them).
Anyways, K is an amazing boyfriend. Absolutely anything any woman could want. I've always been super happy with him and have loved every second of being with him. He is my best friend - I enjoy going out with him and being with him and even shopping with him. He is so good to me and has always treated me better than any woman could ever want.
We got engaged last spring but don't plan on setting a date until we're both done with our respective schooling (just so that we can be financially secure).
Everything has been great until recently. In the past couple weeks, I've started to feel...trapped? And I don't quite understand why, as K has never been the controlling type - he is perfectly fine with me spending time with my girl friends and doing whatever. But it isn't that. I've had the distinct desire to be with other men. Not even in a serious relationship, I just feel like I want to go out to a club with my girlfriends and be able to flirt and dance and experience being single...I guess because I haven't been single since I was 16, and there's not much to being single when you're 16. I've never had the dating experiences or anything - I've only ever seriously (and sexually) been with two men, both of whom I was/am in 2-year plus relationships with.
This is so scary because I don't understand why I'm feeling this way. I haven't felt like this before and I'm worried that when I move out and am going to a different school and have a new group of friends that I'll be more tempted. And I don't want to hurt K. I still can really see myself spending the rest of my life with him. It's almost like I wish I hadn't met him yet. I wish I had met him four years from now, so that I could have had more experiences as a young person. I know this sounds crazy, but it's so hard to put into words.
The thing that makes this the hardest is that I am all he has. His family is awful and has kicked him out on multiple occasions for ridiculous things. He doesn't really have any super close friends he can talk to. He has casual buddies but that's it. I have great friends and an amazing family. He doesn't. And I really think that if I were to end things he could resort to self-harm or even suicide. I honestly think that.
The other night I mentioned feeling suffocated, and he got so upset. Not upset like mad, upset like her was hurt, confused, broken hearted, worried he wasn't making me happy, etc. I don't know what to do! I am in so much pain and it's so confusing.
Please help me out. Any advice you can offer would be amazing. It's hard to talk about this objectively with my friends because they all know K very well and would tell me I'm crazy (plus it might get back to him which would be awful).
Thanks in advance for any help, ladies (and gents). I appreciate it so much.
